The Myth Of Personal Freedom: And The Meaning Of Identity

The Identity Code
by Laurence Ackerman

This book will introduce you to yourself.

Despite what you may have been told since you were a child, you cannot be whatever you want to be in life — you are already what you were meant to be. The secret to uncovering who you are, and your purpose, is built into you in the form of a code — the identity code. Much like your genetic code, your identity code provides a complete map of how you were designed to live.

Answer the questions that frame the identity code, and the contours of your life will shift. You will not only emerge stronger, you will emerge larger. Larger in heart, larger in influence, larger in your capacity to love and be loved. You will understand the why of your life.

In this life-transforming book, Larry Ackerman shows you how to crack your identity code. With more than twenty years of experience helping organizations and individuals identify their purpose, Ackerman reveals the Laws of Identity and the Eight Essential Questions they contain. As you answer these questions, your identity will gradually become clear. It will become the foundation from which you'll make truly meaningful decisions about what work is right for you, how to build and maintain relationships that matter, and even what interests and hobbies make sense for you. These eight questions, and the call to action each one implies, are

WHO AM I?: Define yourself as separate from all others
WHAT MAKES ME SPECIAL?: Unearth what you love
IS THERE A PATTERN TO MY LIFE?: Make the connections that explain past events and foreshadow your future
WHERE AM I GOING?: Use what you've learned so far to guide you on your path
WHAT IS MY GIFT?: Follow the signs of joy
WHO CAN I TRUST?: Take stock of who matters — and why
WHAT IS MY MESSAGE?: Declare yourself on the strength of your gift
WILL MY LIFE BE RICH?: Surrender to the pull of your identity

As Ackerman points out, unbridled freedom actually weighs you down. The myth of personal freedom — the notion that you have infinite choices in the course you set for yourself —is the unspoken agony of the modern person. True freedom comes with knowing your identity: the unique characteristics that define your potential for creating value in the world, for making a contribution that springs naturally from the core of your being and touches the lives of others. Within this framework, life's seeming boundaries melt away.

Intelligent, provocative, and always practical, The Identity Code sets the reader on the classic quest: the discovery of self. Take the journey.

Chapter 1

Life Has Order

The idea that you can be whatever you want to be in life is a myth that tortures people needlessly. It forces you to follow false trails such as money, fame, or family approval, or to stay the course out of sheer desperation. It eats at the very core of your being. Why? Because it lacks integrity; it simply isn't true.

Why we succeed or fail on the path we choose in life, and why we feel basically good or bad about the choices we make along the way, isn't a random event. You can't assign credit or blame to how you were raised. Or chalk it up to the luck of the draw. Or to being in the right place at the right time. Or to any other explanation that avoids the truth.

From the time we are born, we are told by loving parents, devoted teachers, well-meaning friends, and larger-than-life public figures and celebrities that we can be anything we want to be. We can be that international airline pilot, that wealthy business entrepreneur, that Nobel Prize-winning scientist, maybe even that first female president, or other head of state, if we aim high, work hard, and stay the course.

The promise of personal freedom is very seductive. Boosting our egos, it fires our imaginations and fills us with hope, confidence, and drive. We come to believe we are free to make choices about our lives that are wide open, unrestricted by anything except, perhaps, our responsibility at some point to care for others — our families, or aging parents, for instance.

From an early age, we swallow this elixir eagerly. Without thinking, we let it coat our way of life. Years later, as we start to consider vocations and careers, we follow this now deep-seated dream in earnest, the dream that the only order life has is the order we give it.

Lying in bed late at night, or as you sit on an airplane as a young executive, or contemplate alternatives for your college major, graduate work, or post-high school life, you look out into the world and ask the question, What do I want to do? I am free. Where do I want to go? The possibilities seem endless. You are drunk with possibilities. They can be overwhelming.

For all the promise they hold, these questions can gnaw at you. Especially when the answers aren't obvious. Or when the answer that seems obvious at first doesn't necessarily make you feel good. It is then, in these sobering moments, that freedom loses some of its seductive charm. It is under these circumstances that you wake up to your desire for some frame of reference you can call upon to help you decide what to do — what is right to do, for you.

In the midst of this budding turmoil, some people continue to hold fast to their dream. They decide, for instance, that being wealthy is the most important thing, so they doggedly pursue jobs in investment banking or as business financiers. Others feel the obligation to walk in their father's or mother's footsteps, and so steadfastly follow the path their lineage suggests. Still others have invested years in a particular field — politics, the arts, science, journalism, sales, accounting, carpentry — and can't imagine walking away from it after so long. All those years, you think; it's too late to change.

Despite how outwardly successful they may be, the question remains: Are these people happy? It is the only question that matters. By "happy" I do not mean you are always cheerful, or pleasant, or even nice. I mean that you are at peace with yourself. You understand your unique capacities and live according to them. You are happy being who you are among others in the world.

If they are truly fortunate, some people really will be happy, down to the very roots of their souls. Others, however, whether they wind up rich or poor, will insist they are happy but know better. For them, something is missing; something grates at them, inside. But they are afraid to admit it, to themselves as well as to others.

Unbridled freedom weighs you down. Stress takes hold: I need to make a decision about my life, but can't. Guilt surfaces: I wonder what's wrong with me, why I can't figure out what to do. Depression filters into your bones: I am lost. I am in pain. Despair grips your heart: I don't know where I'm going; I must be a failure.

The myth of personal freedom — the idea that you are at liberty to pick whatever path in life you want — is the unspoken agony of the modern person. It ignores the fact that life has order, and that that order bears heavily upon your choices — on what makes sense to do with the time you have. The good news is that although you can't be anything you want to be, you have more potential than you know.

The order I am speaking about is contained in a code, the identity code. Much like our biological, genetic code, our identity code is born into each of us, providing a complete map of how we, as human beings, are designed to function — of how we are supposed to live — when we are living according to who we are. Within the framework your identity provides, life's seeming boundaries melt away. Genuine freedom is yours.

By "identity" I mean the unique characteristics that, in combination with one another, define your potential for creating value in this world; that is, for making a contribution that springs naturally from the core of your being and touches the lives of others in positive ways.

Living according to your identity doesn't happen automatically. How our lives unfold isn't predetermined. Identity isn't a form of fatalism, where no matter what you do your life is destined to turn out a certain way. It is the opposite. It is up to each of us to learn who we are, and then to act upon this knowledge in ways that enable us to realize our potential. We are responsible for what happens to us in life. We are responsible for making identity our framework for living.

Our identity code isn't obvious. We can't see it. Our physical senses are inadequate when it comes to comprehending it. But it is there, waiting to be discovered and embraced.

Crack your identity code and the contours of your life will shift. You will not only come out stronger, you will come out larger. Larger in heart, larger in influence, larger in your capacity to love and be loved.

You will find the right friends. You will marry smarter. You will discover the right line of work or field of study, and the place to practice it. You will parent better. You will honor the right heroes and worship the right gods. You may even live longer. You will understand the why of your own life.

The Eight Questions

The identity code is found in the answers to eight questions. These questions are:

Who am I?

What makes me special?

Is there a pattern to my life?

Where am I going?

What is my gift?

Who can I trust?

What is my message?

Will my life be rich?

At first glance, these questions may appear similar to any number of other life-shaping questions people ask themselves in the course of their lives. Questions like Why am I here? Or, What is my purpose? But these eight questions aren't arbitrary. They come from one source: a series of eight natural laws — the Laws of Identity — which are part of the very constitution of nature and govern our lives like clockwork.

Natural laws aren't a new phenomenon. They've been with us for aeons. Our instinct for self-preservation and innate love of our offspring, for instance, are also natural laws that shape our universe, just as the Laws of Identity do. Natural laws are all about action and reaction. For instance, when you feel threatened, you automatically defend yourself. If your child is in trouble, you instinctively determine how best to help him or her. Your response is involuntary. It is entirely natural.

The idea that there are laws of nature that frame the choices we make in life, and their inevitable impact on our well-being, may seem far-fetched to you. Most people believe the opposite to be true: that life is a freewheeling experience, and you can never know what's coming next.

Copyright © 2005 by Laurence Ackerman. Excerpted by permission of Random House, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

About the Author

Larry Ackerman is a leading authority on organizational and personal identity. As group director for the international identity- and brand-consulting firm Siegel & Gale, Ackerman is widely regarded as the pioneer in the field of identity-based management. His many and diverse clients include Alcoa, Maytag, Fidelity Investments, the Dow Chemical Company, Ernst & Young, Norsk Hydro, Interbrew, and Boise Cascade. His first book, Identity Is Destiny, set forth a revolutionary view of the nature of identity and its fundamental impact on organizational and leadership development. He lives in Weston, Connecticut, with his wife and son.