Introduction

Healthy Teens, Body and Soul
by Andrea Marks, M.D., Betty Rothbart, M.S.W.

This breakthrough book covers the head-to-toe, outside-inside health needs of today's 10- to 21-year-olds. Written by experts in adolescent medicine and parent-child relationships, this comprehensive reference gives no-nonsense, straightforward guidance on how to talk with teens in a way that will help them take charge of their own health.

Andrea Marks, M.D., and Betty Rothbart, M.S.W., take a unique approach — they focus on the interplay of physical, mental, emotional, and social issues that make these years such a challenging time. They show how physical health concerns must be considered within the context of the three main goals of adolescence:

• gaining independence
• clarifying sexual identity
• Finding a realistic, satisfying place in society

Combining authoritative information with sound advice on communicating with teens, who really do want and need their parents' help (even though at times it may seem otherwise), Healthy Teens, Body and Soul will teach parents how to open the lines of communication that will result in healthier, happier teens (and parents!).

We chose the title Healthy Teens, Body and Soul because we feel optimistic and upbeat about adolescence as a time of great energy, resilience, and potential. Yet many health professionals, educators, and above all parents anticipate adolescence with trepidation, fearful that communication and camaraderie, contentment and safety will be difficult to sustain. Indeed, for some adolescents, the teen years are fraught with high levels of stress, unhealthy behaviors, and a decline in overall well-being. But for the great majority of young people, adolescence is a stage of remarkable positive growth in both body and soul.

In a mere ten flash-by years our young children become adults. Through their teen years they must build the knowledge and wisdom and strength to face the world independently. We believe that there are many significant ways their parents can help them thrive. We challenge the cliché that adolescence is a time when teens and parents inevitably must part company — going their separate, even antagonistic, ways. The parent-child relationship certainly changes, but teens still want and need their parents' love and involvement. Indeed, adolescents who feel connected to their families and their schools participate in fewer health risk behaviors and feel happier and more secure.

Our Experiences Have Taught Us

Each of us brings to this book both a professional and a personal perspective.

Andrea Marks: As a doctor specializing in adolescent medicine for the past thirty years, directing hospital-based academic programs and in private practice, and the mother of daughters, now ages 18 and 20, I spend a great deal of time talking with teens. I have learned from listening to my patients and my own children how vital to them are the adults, especially parents, in their lives. While fully respecting adolescent patients' rights to privacy and confidentiality, I welcome their parents' involvement in their care. I have learned that it is far easier for parents to step back and let their children relate independently with me when they feel recognized, not marginalized. In fact, most adolescents are relieved and pleased that their parents get to know me. Maintaining that delicate balance between moving in and moving out is the art of adolescent medicine and the art of adolescent parenting. Mutual respect and trust among the members of the "health care team" — the teen, the doctor, the parent — are key to a successful outcome.

Betty Rothbart: As the mother of a daughter, 20, and a son, 16, and with more than twenty-five years' experience as a psychiatric social worker, educator, consultant to health organizations, and author of books on health and parenting, I have had various windows into adolescents' health needs, as well as their family, peer, and school experiences. Whether counseling teenage girls in a group home, training teachers in health and sexuality education, or teaching parent-adolescent communication workshops, time and again I have found a common thread. Adolescents yearn to be close with their parents (even though they might not show it), and parents want to be close with their adolescents (even though they aren't confident that they understand their children's world). The push-pull of adolescent-parent relationships is nothing new, of course. But in our fast-changing world, complicated by forces as varied as technological advances and terrorist threats, I observe that the role of parents as a stable source of love and guidance is more important than ever.

A Health-Partnering Approach

Healthy Teens, Body and Soul gives you the facts about adolescent health, along with strategies for communicating with your teen. Our goal is to promote adolescent health, family closeness, and support during and beyond the teen years.

Parents can most successfully influence their adolescents' health by becoming their health partners. This means that over the course of adolescence, parents adapt their guidance and level of involvement to reflect and respond to their adolescents' evolving maturity and desire for independence. Throughout the book, you will find health-partnering tips that suggest large and small ways to support your adolescents' health and deliver or reinforce health messages.

How do adolescents grow and change? Chapter 1, "The Stages and Tasks of Adolescent Development," shows how their development can be understood as a series of three stages: early, middle, and late adolescence. At each stage, they grapple with the three tasks of adolescence: to gain independence, to clarify sexual identity, and to explore their self-image and their role in society. This chapter presents some fundamental ways that you can strengthen your relationship and communication throughout the adolescent years.

Chapter 2, "A Doctor of Their Own," introduces a key member of your adolescent's support team: a doctor or other health care provider who understands adolescents' needs. We discuss how to select the right doctor for your adolescent's ongoing care and what to expect from a health visit, especially the annual checkup.

Chapter 3, "The Basics: Nutrition, Exercise, and Sleep," addresses a crucial trio of core health practices that can support your adolescent's daily and long-term well-being.

In chapter 4, "Common Health Problems of Boys and Girls," we discuss a wide range of health problems of which all parents of adolescents should be aware. Chapter 5, "Health Issues for Your Daughter," and chapter 6, "Health Issues for Your Son," focus on gender-specific concerns.

Chapter 7, "Coping with Chronic Health Problems," addresses the coping skills needed by adolescents who do not have the luxury of taking their health for granted. Even as they must keep their special health needs in mind, these young people face the same tasks of adolescence as their peers.

Central concerns for all parents of adolescents are addressed in the next three chapters. Chapter 8, "Risks and Realities of Teen Sexuality," explores sexual health and decision making. In chapter 9, "No Teen Is Immune: Substance Use and Abuse," we discuss the dangers of tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. Chapter 10, "Panic at the Mirror: Teens and Eating Disorders," helps you understand the "disordered eating" that can lead to anorexia, bulimia, obesity, and binge-eating disorder.

Chapter 11, "Your Teen's Mental Health," covers a broad spectrum of concerns ranging from common stresses associated with family life, school, and peers, to mental illnesses and how to get help for your child.

We conclude with chapter 12, "Preventing Accidents and Injuries," on how to help keep your teen safe on the athletic field, at an after-school job, on the road, and elsewhere.

Appendices provide you with books to read, organizations to contact, hot lines to call, and websites to consult. There is also a list of health-related fiction and nonfiction books that your adolescent can enjoy reading, learning from, and sharing with friends. Read these books yourself, too, so you can talk about them with your child and perhaps increase your awareness of adolescent life.

Take Care, Take Pride

As parents of adolescents ourselves, we know how much fun — and how challenging — the experience can be. Children are never predictable. We can never chart a course for their lives and expect that they'll follow our hopeful plans. Every child is unique; what works with one might fail miserably with another. To help a child succeed, we must tune in to the individuality of his or her temperament, abilities, and hurdles. We must empathically teach our children to take responsibility and problem-solve in ways that work for them. Figuring out each child's subtle needs is a vital skill that makes parenting more gratifying.

As our children mature, we continue to support them in making their own plans and shaping their own lives. We take pride in their accomplishments, competence, and growth. We must never forget that the health decisions adolescents make along the way will affect their futures as much as — perhaps even more than — the other choices they make.

Copyright © 2003 by Andrea Marks, M.D.; Betty Rothbart, M.S.W.; and Skylight Press

About the Author

Andrea Marks, M.D., a specialist in adolescent medicine, directed academic programs before opening a private practice for patients ages 9 to 30. She is on the faculty of The Mount Sinai School of Medicine, and also writes a monthly column, "Ask Dr. Marks," for Cosmo Girl magazine. Dr. Marks will be President of the Society for Adolescent Medicine in 2004.

Betty Rothbart, M.S.W., s psychiatric social worker and educator, is the author of several books, about parenting and health. She creates health education programs and trains teachers for the New York City Department of Education, and teaches parent workshops. She is a member of the American Society of Journalists and Authors.