Pregnancy, Part 3

The Gallagher Guide to the Baby Years, 2005 Edition
by Stephanie Gallagher

(Page 3 of 3)

"Have friends and neighbors work out a visitation/cooking rotation, so that you don't have six visitors and nine casseroles in one day, then nothing for a week.

"Don't think you're going to use this time to learn Russian, knit an afghan, or balance your checkbook. Bed rest fries your brain; you will be lucky to concentrate long enough to finish a magazine.

"Change out of your pajamas every morning. Comb your hair and put on a touch of makeup. If you lie around looking like a sick person, you're going to start to feel like a sick person.

"Have a friend come over to paint your toenails or cut/style your hair. It'll make you feel sooooo much better! If your partner isn't cleaning the house to your satisfaction and the dishes and laundry are piling up, let it go! If you absolutely cannot stand the filth for one more second, pick up the phone and recruit some friends, family, or a maid service to tidy up.

"Make sure that your partner or spouse gets some time for himself as well. A game of basketball or beer with his buddies after work will do wonders for his stress level and make him much more willing to pitch in at home.

"Finally, don't cheat on your bed rest! I know lots of mommies who thought, 'Well, one little outing won't hurt,' or 'My doctor will never know,' who wound up in the hospital and/or with babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. This is the one time in your life when doing absolutely nothing is the best thing you can do for your child."

— Jenna Haldeman, Portland, OR

"Arrange visitors if you feel up to it. Having someone bring you lunch on the couch is a great day-brightener. People may ask what they can do for you. Make a list of errands you need to have done and dole them out to well-meaning friends. Call people if you are a chatty person. I found that even five minutes on the phone with a friend gave me a boost.

"If you are only on limited bed rest (you can still be upright some of the time), find an online community. BabyCenter.com and other pregnancy-related websites have groups that are for folks on bed rest.

"Finally, remember how important the work of growing a baby is. Sure, there are people out there who are doing their jobs, earning a living, or enjoying their leisure time, but you made ears or eyebrows or toenails or a heart muscle or a brain cell today. Now how many people can say that?"

— Amelia Stinson-Wesley, Morganton, NC

Four Scrumptious, Healthy Pregnancy Snacks

1. Fruit ... by itself, with cottage cheese, in a shake or smoothie

2. Peanut butter and ... crackers, wheat bread, celery, carrots, banana, jelly, pretzels, apples, bagels

3. Yogurt

4. Raw vegetables and dip

"I craved spinach salads, topped with grape tomatoes, feta cheese, and blue cheese dressing. Lots of calcium, which may help with preterm labor, good amount of calories, and it's not too heavy to eat through those days of nausea."

— Traci Bragg, M.D., Jacksonville, FL

"I had chocolate organic yogurt. It really helped me make it through pregnancy without caffeine and still keep awake at work."

— Beth Blecherman, Menlo Park, CA

"I liked frozen green grapes."

— Chantal Laurin, Concord, Ontario, Canada

"Prunes. I ate a ton of the lemon- and orange-flavored ones. Not only do they have a lot of iron, but they help alleviate constipation."

— Sara Hammontree, Mountain Home, AR

"I kept a ton of stuff at my desk during work. I tried to keep semi-healthy things — wheat thins, pretzels, dried cereal, dried fruit, Chex mix, yogurt. I also kept orange juice, water, and fruit in the fridge. I really think this helped to keep down the weight gain."

— Brandy Charles, Tulsa, OK

"I ate a lot of veggie roll-ups with cream cheese, spinach leaves, roasted red peppers, shredded carrots, and scallions on a tortilla. When I wanted more protein, I added slices of chicken."

— Patricia Arnold, Westford, MA

"Strawberries, banana, vanilla pudding and milk in the blender is a fantastic breakfast on the run or late-night snack ... and helps you get the fruits and calcium that seem hard to get enough of."

— Rebecca Curtis, Oshawa, Ontario, Canada

"I liked yogurt with granola mixed in and raw veggies. I didn't really eat any more than when I wasn't pregnant, so I had to make sure the food I was getting was good food. I would bring raw veggies with dip into work and keep them on my desk for easy snacking."

— Genevieve Molloy, Guttenberg, NJ

"I lived on peanut butter. It gave me the extra protein I needed for my twins. I made a sandwich and wrapped it, and I kept it at my bedside for those hungry times in the middle of the night. It hit the spot!"

— Lori Vance, Henderson, NV

The No-Lose Way to Pick the Perfect Baby Name

As your belly grows, so does the reality that there actually is another human being growing in there, and this little one is going to need a name. Choosing a baby name is a sometimes delicate, sometimes frustrating, and always meaningful endeavor, since everyone seems to place a major importance on it. If your in-laws aren't determined to have you name the kid after some long-lost dead relative, your own parents are pushing you to use a family name, your spouse is dying to have the baby named after him, or friends are quick to weigh in with their own preferences and aversions. This is what we've learned in handling the name game.

1. Keep it a secret!

2. Consider how your child will feel about the name years from now — is it difficult to pronounce? Will she be teased because it sounds funny or rhymes with certain words?

3. Don't try to please other people — only you and your partner need to agree.

4. Check the initials to make sure they aren't problematic.

5. Decide in advance or at least have a couple of names under consideration before you go to the hospital.

"When my husband and I decided on a name for our son (we knew it was a boy), we kept the name a secret. It took a long time to decide, and we did not want others' opinions to influence our decision. People don't mind telling you if they hate the name before the baby is born, then telling you what you should name it. After the baby is born, it is too late, and everyone tells you what a great name you picked, no matter what!"

— Kristi Swartz, Gaithersburg, MD

"Everyone wants you to name the baby after them. Remember, you can't please everyone, so don't try. Name your baby with a name you like and a name your baby will hopefully want to live with for the rest of your baby's life. You should also think about the initials. For a not-so-cool example, William Eugene Thompson spells W.E.T. Unfortunately, my brother, trying to please the grandparents, named his son this name and he has been teased terribly."

— Barbara Nichols, Okeechobee, FL

"Say the name (first and last) out loud and make sure it sounds good. Write it down and make sure it doesn't look or sound like any word(s) that will be embarrassing to you later. Once you have picked a name you like, don't share it with family members. They may want to offer their own opinions and may actually try to dissuade you from the name you have spent a great deal of time deciding upon. I wished I had just kept quiet about it until after my baby was born. It would've been easy just to say that we were still thinking about our options."

— Krystal Johnston, M.D., Manistee, MI

"Our daughters were not named until right before we left the hospital! We had not really discussed it at length and when we did, we could not agree. We love the names we chose, but it's best to select when you're not under pressure."

— Shannon Guay, Galloway, OH

"Don't be afraid to go with a name that you love. My daughter's name is Reagan. Many people frowned at it, told me how bad it was, and how much they hated it. People also ask if she is named after President Reagan. I always loved the name and that is why it is hers. Now she is two, and people who hated it tell me they love it and can't imagine her as anything else."

— Susan Dobratz, Plymouth, MA

Copyright © 2002, 2004 by Sound Bite Press, Inc.

About the Author

Stephanie Gallagher is an award-winning journalist whose articles have appeared in such magazines as Redbook, McCall's, and Woman's World. She is the publisher of Sound Bite Press and author of Money Secrets the Pros Don't Want You to Know, Fabulous Bargains, and The Everything Baby Resource Guide.