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3.  One Step at a Time

I was an active child. I rode horses from a young age and was always the first in line to be a part of any game. I still ride today and I love to ski or play a game of squash or tennis.

Because I've always been so active, you'd think that exercising is an integral part of my life. But I'm very much like most women when it comes to working out: It's something I will constantly have to make an effort to do for the rest of my life. Exercise is different from activity. Activity reminds me of children playing: moving, jumping, running or just doing something that is fun and spirited. Exercise, on the other hand, can be a chore. But it is imperative for your well-being.

Through the years, I have learned to change my attitude toward exercise because, ultimately, I know that exercise has helped me lose weight and provides me with the stamina I need for my busy schedule. For instance, when I filmed my television special, Adventures with The Duchess, I had to scuba dive, mountain climb, even swing on a trapeze! Some of the things I did were fun (the trapeze); others were terrifying (like the mountain climbing). Yet I know it would have been impossible for me to do any of these activities if I didn't exercise regularly.

My longtime trainer, Josh Salzmann, has been a big help with my exercise program. We've been working together since the late 1980s and he's the one who encourages me to push harder when I think I've had enough. Josh also knows when to tell me to ease up. I can be very competitive with myself, but Josh reminds me that there are times when I just have to, as he would say, "chill out."

Workout time with Josh is important to me. It's one of the few times I won't allow myself to be interrupted. We have a schedule: Sometimes I ride the exercise bike, other times I use the stair climbing machine. I'll do some strength training and stretches. Our sessions vary because, as Josh has told me, I need to listen to my body and respect its limits from day to day.

When I'm feeling trapped and can't even think about exercising, I remember what Josh always tells me: "If you're really healthy and fit, you'll have a good resistance to illness and a high energy level — you'll also look your best."

I've also learned it is critical to make your workout appealing and convenient. For instance, I prefer morning workouts at a health club or at my home. I like listening to music when I work out; I'm a big Elton John fan. My favorite part of the routine is when I'm pedaling on my bike, meditating and listening to music; it's one of the few times I get to turn off my mobile phone! The part I hate: push-ups!

4.  It Takes Support to Slim Down

I have discovered that learning about sound nutrition is relatively easy compared to using that information wisely. For me, using my head — and not my heart — to make food decisions is always a challenge. One incident that I clearly remember occurred recently after I had started the Program. Things were going swimmingly until I was preparing for a trip to the States. I was feeling anxious and suddenly found myself falling into my old habits, seeking out my trusty "comfort" foods. I also had great difficulty controlling my portions: I would have two croissants or a few more cookies than I really wanted. I didn't know what was wrong, but clearly I felt like I was beginning to spin out of control.

I immediately called my friend Sarah, a fellow Weight Watchers member, and she came over. As we talked, I unearthed the nasty root of my sudden overeating: I was anxious about leaving my girls to travel (this also was shortly after the death of Princess Diana and the girls understandably didn't want me out of their sight). Now I know that this is a trigger for me. I'm aware of it and try to keep it in mind.

Discovering triggers helps you understand yourself better While I have been working on my weight issues, I have discovered other interesting facts about myself — for instance, I now know I'm a people pleaser. I always want others to like me and think well of me. I remember recently having to make an appearance on an American television program. I wanted to pick up my girls from school before I left, so I took a rather late flight from London to New York the day of the show. I knew it was going to be tight, but I really wanted to spend the time with my girls. Of course, things went wrong. We ended up taking off late because the airplane had a major problem with its navigating system. We sat on the runway for hours and I just kept thinking over and over, "What am I going to do?" I couldn't be late. I was so nervous. I truly did not want to let the host or the audience down. After several minutes of this, I realized I had to calm down, telling myself to relax since there was nothing I would do to change the situation. We eventually took off and I made it to the taping (although it was close!).

When I go to a Weight Watchers meeting, there is always support. We are all there for the same reason: primarily to lose weight, but also to understand how we got ourselves into our predicaments. So if you gain a pound or two, everyone knows what it's like and will try to help you figure out why.

A good support network should be a positive force in your life. At the meetings I've attended, everyone is so up, it just lifts you. It's like a tonic. I love the sense of support and friendship; it leaves you feeling you are not on your own or isolated. This time around, I learned that you don't have to be an island, all alone, when you're on a weight-loss program. Seek out support, be it your spouse, a friend, family member, even your children. Use their shoulders; you'll do the same for them at one time or another. If you find it might be too difficult relying on close friends or family members for your weight support, find a support group that makes you feel comfortable and welcome.

The day I reached my weight goal was one of the proudest of my life. Everyone was so supportive and positive. Like most women, I will always want to lose a few more pounds, but knowing that I reached my goal through my own sheer will and the help of my friends was incredibly satisfying.

5.  I Control My Weight, It Doesn't Control Me

Weight is not just a "fat issue." When I talk about weight, I know I'm talking about a major health issue. I also am not afraid to say that dealing with weight is a mood-altering experience. If you gain a pound or simply wake up one morning feeling fat, it can leave you mad, frustrated, difficult, cranky. It affects your marriage and your self-esteem; it causes problems at work. And it can make you feel worthless.

How I feel about my body and my weight can dictate how I feel for the rest of the day. For instance, even if someone says casually, "You look fine," I might reply, "Thank you," but deep down I know I don't feel fine. Maybe I know I've eaten too much and that the new black swimsuit I've bought for a family holiday is a little too snug. I know I have pushed the suit back further and further away in my drawer. Ultimately, I know I can only push the suit so far: Like my weight issue, it's there and eventually I'll have to deal with it.

I also see that I need to keep my stress level down if I am going to stay in control. I use my workouts to keep myself focused and in control. Josh always tells me that fitness is more than muscle: I have to be physically, emotionally and spiritually fit to be well. My workouts are about decompressing; they reduce my stress and clear my head so I can concentrate on the important matters at hand.

So when things get rough and the world seems insane, how do I get back on track and in control? I keep the truth. I think one of the greatest things in life is to be able to gather the courage in yourself, hold your head high and ask yourself, "Am I being true to myself?" When you can answer with a resounding yes, then you've reached your goal and you are a success.

Copyright © 1998 by The Duchess of York and Weight Watchers International, Inc.

Tags: Diets and Weight Loss

About the Author

Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York, started her career in public relations at an art gallery and worked for a publisher before marrying Prince Andrew and becoming The Duchess of York in 1986. In addition to books for children, she has written her autobiography, several history books, and five books on diet and lifestyle with Weight Watchers International. The Duchess lives in Berkshire, England, with her two daughters, Beatrice and Eugenie.