Internal? External? Eternal?

The Big Sister's Guide to the World of Work
by Marcelle DiFalco, Jocelyn Greenky Herz

(Page 3 of 3)

Pay careful attention to how the company communicates to its employees. Are there lots of companywide memos? If so, who sends them? If anybody and everybody memos the entire staff all the time, feel free to email the universe with requests for participation in the paper recycling initiative. But, if companywide memos only come down from on high, do not send memos of any nature to the entire organization.

Check out the tone of internal communications — is it friendly and chatty? Pithy? Punny? Putrid? Observe and learn, lady.

	Function follows form. Try to tailor your communication style to that of the company's culture. If email is the primary form, don't be walking the halls looking to poke your head in someone's door with every incidental observation. If yelling from office to office is the mode, don't be Miss Formal Fancy Pants and have every communication start with "As per our discussion of 4 August..."
	Plagiarize to synergize. Copy the tone, style, and format of the corporate communications, so don't use that ivy background and 26-point fuchsia Comic Sans font on your emails if the company emails are froof-free. For language points, see the "Cool 'Tude Dude" section on page 92.
	Kindly in kind. Specifically focus in on how individuals communicate, and reply in kind to each. Some people resent too much email; others don't want to hear from you unless you put it in writing. Is the boss a one-word email kind of guy? Then no Les Misérables epic-length replies. But be careful not to come off as abrupt, as some bossy bosses can dish it out but not take it. Always sign off with a "thanks." Does the Uppity Upper hate being caught on the fly? Then don't say, "I'd like a quick word with you." Instead say, "I'd like to schedule a quick meeting." Same meaning, different planet.

Meetings of the Mindless

Are you in a by-committee culture? Are people huddled together frequently with the conference room door shut? Are meetings highly formatted and planned or spontaneously constructed and BYOB casual? Who attends? Who doesn't? Do people ask lots of questions or sit quietly like kids in detention? Are the meetings stress fests or snooze fests? Do Uppities tend to kill the messenger? Watch it all and learn your company's meeting culture.

	If Simon says bring pastry, bring pastry. If people never interrupt each other, don't interrupt. If it is always formal, don't call a meeting and then show up without a written agenda. If decisions are always made in premeetings, hold one before yours.
	Take the time to prepare. A good place to start is knowing what the topic is.
	Know how to run a meeting. It's a skill, not an art. Don't let people go off onto unrelated tangents; keep it on track and you'll look like a star. If you don't really know the ins and outs of running an effective meeting, ask someone outside your company for advice and coaching; always pay close attention to those in your office culture who you think do it well.

COOL 'TUDE DUDE When J first started at Rolling Stone, she had never worked for a magazine before. Her boss started blah-blahing about "rate base," and J had noooo clue what he was talking about. J was smart enough not to say, "Excuse me, but what the hell is a rate base?" She knew that to reveal her ignorance would have branded her as a know-nothing outsider alien. Instead, J bluffed her way through it by repeating back more or less what he had said to her: "Right. Rate base is key." To fit in, you must keep up with the jargonese of your industry. Read at least one or more trade magazines every month, and check out your company and industry websites. Learn the language and speak it, sister. Adopt the lingo, Lois. If everyone is walking around saying, "What are the deliverables and next steps?" then don't you be saying, "When will you get me that thingy and what d'ya wanna do now?" Don't overuse any one term. You'll become the jargonhead joke of your office if you do. Make sure you know when a buzz-phrase is dated and don't use it. We were sooo sad when "I'm swamped" was replaced with "I don't have the bandwidth." Thank God we had the RAM to handle it. Introduce a new buzzword. Go to the job sites, click on your field, and read the job descriptions — it's a great way to pick up the latest buzzwords in your industry. Check out wordspy.com for the new word evolutions and convolutions in our language and talk about them. Don't pick up bad habits from your officemates. Cliché overkill is the worst: "I hear ya." Poor grammar ain't nothing too good neither. Here's the rule: if your boss doesn't say it, don't you say it.

Observe the Movements of the Stars

Follow the leaders, follow the leaders, follow the leaders. We can't say that enough. No matter where you are in the company, do your very best to keep an eye on the executives. Hint: it's a good idea to know who they are and what they do. To find out, go to your company website and read the bios, or ask around.

Observe how the leaders lead. Get to know their styles, listen carefully to the behavior they publicly praise, and repeat it. M once worked with a CEO who practically canonized another VP for presenting a report in PowerPoint. You can't believe how fast M taught herself to use PowerPoint.

We know what you're thinking, and we're telling you right now: this is not sucking up. It's responding appropriately to the culture cues. M didn't go in the next day and say: "Boss, you were riiiight. Ooooh, PowerPoint is soooo special. You are soooo wise... that must be why youuuu are the boss." M just put her next report in PowerPoint because her boss had expressed that preference. Ignoring the boss's stated or inferred preferences is not ass-kissing avoidance — it's active passive-aggression. (For more boss biz, see Chapter 12, "Hail to the Chef.")

If you don't have direct access to Uppity Uppers, do your best to make yourself known to them anyway. J used to literally follow company execs to the deli so she could "bump into them." It might sound a bit absurd, but she did some major bonding there in front of the cold tortellini salad. One VP from the deli became the friend, mentor, and office champion who helped J become Visible to other Uppities within and beyond the walls of that particular company. Btw, they are still friends.

Take a few risks (the old bump while getting a grinder at the deli) to meet your company Uppities. Chat & Hum in the elevator, at office functions, wherever, and find the common ground. Execs and managers in other divisions who take a shine to you will tell you far more about what's actually going on in the company than your direct boss probably ever will! J had the inside scoop on everything because of Mr. Tortellini from the salad counter.

Then there are the invisible leaders. These are the people who are not necessarily in the big offices; they might not have the fancy titles. It might be the most low-key person in the company, but she or he is the most trusted and most influential person in the company. We call these coworkers the Rainmakers.

The Rainmakers are the people who know how things work. They know how to make things happen in a company. They are the eyes and ears of the Most Uppity Uppers, and God help you if you inadvertently piss off the Rainmaker — we're talking major downpour on your career parade.

One of The Girls Who Call Us, Anita, was a newly installed director at an Internet service provider. The CEO initially bragged to all about what a superstar performer Anita was. And she was. This gal was a dynamo of productivity and efficiency. Anita, however, needed the cooperation of the quality assurance department to keep her own division running smoothly.

Anita, who was stubborn and fearless, would inform the head of quality assurance in ever-so-snotty emails and a few snide face-offs how he was "screwing everything up." The quality assurance guy was intensely mellow in the face of Anita's browbeating. Anita was gone within six months. The quality assurance guy happened to be an old college buddy of the CEO's, and while it's almost impossible to know for sure, our guess is he was the Rainmaker.

The Rainmaker could be a senior exec, the Most Uppity Upper's assistant, or just some nondescript employee whose job function no one is exactly sure about. You just don't know. Finding the Rainmaker is like trying to catch snowflakes on your tongue — seems like it should be easy, but you're never entirely sure when you've been successful, which is why you should plan on being professional and courteous with everyone — rain or shine.

Changes in the Wind

Corporate culture is like the weather — it can and will change. Sometimes a production glitch or missed deadline will cause a sudden storm, but things soon return to normal. Other times the environment undergoes a dramatic change caused by some cataclysmic happening — a new tornado of a CEO comes aboard and rips through the joint, and life never returns to its original state. Change can also happen over time, through erosion, and you suddenly notice no one seems to be doing things "they way we've always done them."

Change is the one thing you should count on, Grasshopper. You need to put up those alien antennae and observe how the execs respond to change — however and whenever it happens. If there's a big shift in culture, you must be prepared to move with it. You might not like the change as it happens — but if you show that you are resistant toward it, you are in for a big culture shock yourself.

We've seen this again and again when a new manager comes in and wants to change the way everything is done, even if it means undoing all the stuff that was accomplished in the last six months. The staffer kicks up a nasty dust storm, relying completely on her tenure to see her through. But when the dust settles, the new manager is still there, and the girl is nowhere in sight.

You must be on the lookout for and adapt yourself to every change. Even when you get promoted, you will, once again, be an alien until you figure out the culture at your new higher elevation. The air is thinner at the top, which can cause dizziness, delusions, and disillusion — not to mention that increased risk for heart attack. Don't overexert yourself unduly trying to prove that you belong there at the top. Stay cool, baby, stay cool.

Copyright © 2005 by Marcelle DiFalco & Jocelyn Greenky Herz

About the Author

Marcelle DiFalco is an award-winning writer and ex-urban career girl. Prior to writing The Big Sister's Guide to the World of Work, DiFalco spent fourteen years learning to navigate the ins, outs, and upside downs of corporate America. DiFalco first cut her teeth as a writer at Food Arts magazine, where she was managing editor for seven years. DiFalco is also the former editor in chief of Eating Well magazine and on-time vice president/editorial director of Tavolo.com. DiFalco has been a W-2er since she was fourteen and a Big Sister since she was two and a half. DiFalco lives in Vermont with her family.

Jocelyn Greenky Herz is a media consultant and writer. Herz enjoyed a successful 20 year career that spanned stops at Philip Morris, Wenner Media and Hachette Filipacchi. In 2001, she launched Sider Road Media which assists international entertainment companies in all aspects of growth including business development, marketing and broadcast production. Jocelyn is also a contributing editor to Gotham, L.A. Confidential and Hamptons Magazines. She is a graduate of Syracuse University.