Finding the Right Direction

The Unmistakable Touch of Grace: How to Recognize and Respond to the Spiritual Signposts in Your Life
by Cheryl Richardson

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As I thought more about the unmistakable touch of grace during my walk, I could also see that writing about this topic would address the epidemic of fear, anxiety, and disconnectedness I've found in audiences while speaking throughout the country. As I talk to people about their lives, I often see a distant, almost vacant look in their eyes — a look that says "I'm so busy trying to survive my life that I have no soul left to live it." The events of September 11, and the chaos in the Middle East, along with the overwhelming amount of information and stimuli that assault us on a daily basis, have caused our anxiety levels to soar. Living on the edge of uncertainty has made fight or flight our standard operating mode.

As technology continues to give people more ways to intrude on our time, we end up retreating from the world in an attempt to shelter ourselves from a busy, chaotic life. Clients often tell me that they spend so much time on the phone or computer communicating with people at work that they no longer have the energy or desire to talk with their friends or family when they get home. As a result, our most soul-nourishing relationships start to deteriorate and we end up feeling lonely and isolated. We can try to fill the hollowness inside with everything from the latest reality TV show, to overspending, or the restless pursuit of a purposeful career, only to be disappointed when the emptiness remains. It's no wonder most of us feel as though something essential is missing from our lives. There is. We are starved for a connection to the sacred dimension of life.

I understand the dilemma. I feel privileged to have experienced the kind of success that most people only dream of. I've written books that have made the New York Times bestseller list, built a large online community that brings together thousands of people from around the world, and had the amazing opportunity to lead a series on "The Oprah Winfrey Show." As my career took off and my schedule filled up, I got seduced by my own busy life and lost sight of my spiritual center. I became more focused on leaping the next highest bar. One bestseller wasn't enough. There had to be another. As soon as I accomplished an important goal, I automatically moved on to the next, never allowing myself an opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my hard work. Enough was never enough and even when I knew better, it still wasn't enough. These accomplishments (and the life lessons that ensued) gave me the rare opportunity to know for sure that no amount of money, popularity, or success can give us the happiness and peace we all long for. This comes from the daily rituals and practices that keep us connected to our spiritual core.

As someone who has dedicated her life to helping people honor their values and most treasured priorities, it's clear to me the answer to living a genuine, soul-directed life is not just about practicing time management techniques or self-care strategies. While these tools are important, as long as we look for solutions in the outer world to calm our fears and anxieties, or to alleviate our loneliness, we'll always be disappointed. Instead, we need to go deeper. We must embrace what great spiritual teachers have known all along — freedom from suffering and true happiness are found in the connection we share with a power greater than us all.

I left the beach that day with a greater sense of clarity and feeling more excited about the direction I wanted this book to take. So I made a decision to sit with the phrase, "the unmistakable touch of grace," to see what happened.

Later that night while lying in bed, I continued to reflect on my experience and relationship with grace. I truly believe that more than anything else, my commitment to live a spiritually based life has been the source of my success. The more I surrender my will to the Divine, the less I've had to worry about how to achieve anything. Instead, the path finds me. Grace leads me to the exact events and experiences I need at exactly the right time.

There have been striking examples of this throughout my life. Sometimes the messages were like whispers — an unexpected e-mail with a helpful invitation, or a call from a colleague at the exact moment I needed support. Other times, they were like a loud roar commanding my attention. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

Several years ago, my friend Max and I were having a conversation during a sunset walk along the beach. I had just ended a five-year relationship and felt conflicted about my decision. Deep in my heart I knew separating was the right choice, yet I kept feeling pulled to call my former partner to give it one more try. Max, being the good friend that she is, encouraged me to stay true to myself. She suggested that I focus on my own self-care and the new emerging chapter of my life.

Like so many of us who go through a tough life transition, I felt pulled in two directions. In my heart I knew that I needed to hold still and stay strong, but my head screamed, "Call him!" I felt as though I was caught in an emotional battle of wills, struggling to keep the peace between two feuding factions.

As Max and I continued our conversation, I said that I needed a sign — some kind of divine confirmation to help me make the right choice. Just then, I looked up and saw a man running toward us. He was striking; muscular and tanned, with piercing blue eyes. When he passed us, Max and I looked at each other and smiled, acknowledging his powerful energy. We continued our walk and eventually headed for the car.

Arriving at the parking lot, we sat down to put on our shoes. Taking one more look out over the ocean, I once again saw the same man running back down the beach. As my eyes followed him, he suddenly stopped, bent down and started to scratch something in the sand with his finger. After a few moments he finished and continued on his way. Max and I immediately ran to see what he had written.

When we arrived at the water's edge we found the words MENTAL TOUGHNESS scrawled in the sand. Stunned, I stood looking at the words, amazed at how appropriate and timely they were for me. When I glanced up to find the angel who had delivered this message, he was nowhere in sight. Instantly I felt a sense of relief and reassurance. I knew I had my answer — hold still and stay strong.

Stories like this are powerful examples of grace in action. They give us comfort and a sense of direction. Sometimes we see the influence of grace in hindsight when we step back and view our lives from a higher perspective. When I look back at my early years in high school, I can see that the two teachers who fueled my passion for reading set the stage for my future career as a writer. Or, the difficulties I faced in my relationships with men were exactly what I needed to build the solid core of self-esteem and inner strength that I would rely on to face the challenges of life. Even the most agonizing experiences of all — the death of a loved one and the diagnosis of a serious illness, turned out to be blessings; pivotal events that dramatically altered the way I live my life today.

Copyright © 2005 by Cheryl Richardson

About the Author

Cheryl Richardson is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Take Time for Your Life, Life Makeovers, and Stand Up for Your Life. As a professional coach and speaker, her work has been covered widely in the media, including the Today show, Good Morning America, The New York Times, and O, The Oprah Magazine. Cheryl led the Lifestyle Makeover Series on The Oprah Winfrey Show and accompanied Ms. Winfrey on the "Live Your Best Life" nationwide tour. She lives in Massachusetts.