Realistic Expectations

Calorie Queens: Living Thin in a Fat World
by Jackie Scott, Diane Scott Kellum, Brett A. Scott, M.D.

Fed up with trendy diets, a mother and daughter share the self-created down-home diet that helped them shed over 300 pounds.

Jackie Scott and her daughter Diane Scott-Kellum had tried just about every diet under the sun, sometimes losing weight but always gaining it back. So, with the help of Jackie's husband, Brett, a board certified neurosurgeon, they developed their own diet complete with menus, shopping lists, over 100 recipes, and generous helpings of common sense.

They soon discovered that not only did their calorie-based diet work for them (Jackie lost 100 pounds, Diane over 200 pounds, and even Brett lost 50 pounds) but it worked for their friends. This is not a starvation or a fad diet. It's not really a diet at all. It's about learning how to eat for a lifetime from two real women who have been there and are making it work.

Losing weight is the modern-day quest. The search for the famed city of El Dorado, the fountain of youth, the impossible dream. Most of us have experienced many diet failures, and each failure makes it harder and harder to believe that any long-term solution exists. But we haven't given up hope. We're still looking. When we're looking for a solution to our weight problems, what do we want? A quick fix. Advertise quick weight loss, and we will buy absolutely anything. Advertise quick weight loss, and we will believe absolutely everything. Outrageous statements. Ridiculous promises. Absurd testimonials. We swallow them all. Hook, line, and sinker.

"And here's the fabulous new weight loss product you've been hearing so much about, Dr. Ima Lyer's Weight Loss Elixir. Dr. Lyer, IMD, received her Imaginary Medical Degree from a highly respected mail-order university just last month. Her extensive research has discovered a previously overlooked medical phenomenon that causes amazingly quick weight loss.

"Dr. Lyer's Weight Loss Elixir comes in handy, singleserving- sized bottles and tastes like chocolate. When consumed at bedtime, it acts as a sleeping aid, induces lovely dreams in Technicolor, and dissolves fat while you sleep. But wait-that's not all, folks. It tightens skin, improves your complexion, and hardens your nails. Of course, there's no unpleasant exercise, and you can lose weight while continuing to eat anything you want. And we're practically giving it away! A onemonth supply for the bargain price of $19.95.

"Order within the next fifteen minutes, and we'll include an additional month's supply at no extra charge. Be one of our first one hundred callers, and you'll also receive a jar of our specially formulated cellulite cream, valued at $29.95, absolutely free. In addition to reducing cellulite and eliminating stretch marks, this amazing cream removes warts and prevents hair loss. Order now. Supplies are limited." No matter how incredible the claims, we appear to be easy prey for any and all weight loss advertising. Lose ten pounds in forty-eight hours! You bet, sign me up. Pills and potions that melt weight away! Sounds great, where do I send my money? Snake-oil salesmen are alive and well, and they're getting rich selling weight loss elixirs and magic beans.

How has everyone reached such levels of desperation? We're fat. And we're getting fatter.

Is there any other human endeavor that squanders so much time, effort, and money, and yields such wretched results as dieting? We're told that 95 to 98 percent of the weight we lose is eventually regained. This level of failure would simply not be tolerated in any other enterprise. Here in Kentucky, if diet counselors coached basketball, they'd be stoned to death.

What effect have all our diet failures had on our weight loss goals? Very little. Even though we're moving further and further away from those goals, we're simply not willing to change them. We just spend more money on promises that don't deliver results.

Ambitious Goals

No one in America is happy with their weight. No matter our present weight, we all want to weigh less. A little less? No. A little less is not good enough. We want to weigh a lot less. What is it about human nature that causes us to struggle so determinedly against being average? When I was overweight, I was stunningly overweight. But whenever I began a diet, did I pick the average female number to strive for? Of course not.

The mythical "average female" is reported to be 5'4" tall, weigh 164 pounds, and wear a size 14. (Or maybe a 12 or a 16 depending on the brand.) But I'm only 5'2". Since I'm shorter than the average woman, I obviously need to weigh less. Never mind that my weight was 83 pounds greater than the average woman's. When I decided to do something about it, suddenly average wasn't good enough. I hadn't weighed less than 200 pounds in ten years, yet weighing 164 pounds wasn't sufficient. Was I crazy? Yes. But I was not alone. A recent national survey indicted that one-third of Americans are on a diet. Health care professionals consider a diet successful if 5 to 10 percent of total body weight is lost, since this level of weight loss can produce statistically significant improvement in those medical conditions that are related to overweight, such as high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. The typical dieter, however, sets far more ambitious goals.

In a study of overweight women, whose average weight was 220 pounds, members of the group selected 135 pounds as a dream weight. This represented a 38 percent reduction in body weight. Their happy weight was 150 pounds, a 32 percent reduction in body weight; their acceptable weight was 164 pounds, a 25 percent reduction in body weight. The group indicated they would be disappointed in a 10-15 percent weight loss. A 10 percent loss would be 22 pounds; a 15 percent loss would be 33 pounds.

Why would anyone be disappointed in a weight loss of 33 pounds? We're not satisfied with losing weight. We want to be thin. No matter how heavy we are, we don't want to be less heavy. We want to be thin.

What else do we want?

• We want to be thin now.
• We want it to be easy to get thin.
• We want it to be easy to stay thin.

When it comes to losing weight, we want instantaneous, painless, and permanent results.

Verbal Weight Loss

When we moved to Kentucky in June of 2000, I stood very calmly in the Department of Motor Vehicles and told a spectacular lie. Now, I normally consider myself to be an honest person, but one major, ironclad, cast-in-stone, no-doubt-about-it Rule of Life is that none of us tells the truth when someone asks about our weight.

We all know that we're going to lie. And the heavier you are, the bigger the lie. How many pounds can you deny without the person behind the counter breaking into hysterical laughter? I opted for a verbal weight loss of 72 pounds. The woman behind the counter put 175 pounds on my license without batting an eyelash. Bless her kind soul.

What should my license have read? Birth date: 10/18/52. Height: 5'2". Weight: 247 pounds. What did these vital statistics reveal?

• Forty-seven years old
• Short
• Fat

I didn't mind being forty-seven. I was used to being short. I hated being fat. And I was fat enough to meet the medical definition of morbid obesity, 100 pounds over normal weight.

When I was lying about my weight at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I could easily have been included in that overweight women's study. I weighed 247 pounds, and my dream weight coincided with theirs, 135 pounds. That weight represented a 45 percent reduction in body weight and, coincidentally, corresponded with the medical definition of normal weight for my height. I needed to lose a mere 112 pounds in order to satisfy the dream of being thin.

The justification for my lie was easy. I was starting a new diet, so it was just a matter of time before the weight on my license was correct. Perfectly reasonable, right? Based on the logic of that statement, I started thinking about the last time the weight on my driver's license was accurate.

When I was a senior in college, I gained 20 pounds my final semester. I had stupidly signed up to take organic chemistry pass/fail. I had more credit hours than I needed to graduate, but I needed a three-hour science elective. My husband, Brett, was a chemical engineering major, so I thought it would be nice if I learned a little organic chemistry. This was not a wise decision on my part, and a little was exactly how much I learned. By the time I survived the course, and somehow passed, I weighed 147 pounds. It was the most I had ever weighed. I would never have believed that one day I'd weigh 100 pounds more.

In the summer of 1974, I joined Weight Watchers for the first time, and I lost 35 pounds. Therefore, sometime in the fall of 1974 I would have weighed what my driver's license said I did. It had been twenty-seven years since my license weight had been correct.

The worst part of this story is that even when I weighed 112 pounds, I wasn't happy with my body. I still looked bad in shorts, because my thighs were not perfectly proportioned with the rest of my body. My fingernails hadn't miraculously become long and strong. No photographer appeared begging me to participate in a photo shoot featuring "Women of the Big Ten." I was thinner than I'd been since fifth grade, and I still wasn't happy with my body.

The Dream of Physical Perfection

The dream represents more than just being thin; the dream represents physical perfection. A great body is just the beginning. Women also want flawless makeup, and an excellent manicure, and thick, shiny, manageable hair. Men want muscular chests, and flat stomachs, and enough hair that their scalp doesn't show through. We all want to be attractive, and we're willing to consider injections, liposuction, and surgery in our search for external beauty.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we insist on comparing ourselves to the limited and unrealistic images presented by Hollywood and Madison Avenue? Based on the height, size, and weight of the average woman, there has never been a greater difference between the women chosen to represent us and ourselves. And even though we know it, we still blame ourselves, rather than the people responsible for creating this disparity.

These societal influences contribute to our unrealistic expectations of appropriate weights and body shapes. Television and print ads surround us with images of disgustingly young, amazingly tall, impossibly thin women. Oh yeah, and it's not enough that they're young and tall and thin, they're also gorgeous and have high, firm, full breasts. Where do they find these women? Are they cloning them in the basements of New York modeling agencies? Are they grown on specially grafted trees in a top-secret research facility high in the Hills of Beverly?

Trust me, these women are not average. Remember the average woman? She's 5'4" tall, weighs 164 pounds, and wears a size 14. How does she compare to the average model? The average highfashion model is 5'10" tall, weighs 117 pounds, and wears a size 4 or 6. The only thing that the average woman has in common with the average model is that neither is happy with their weight. They're both on a diet.

When we lose weight, we're devastated to discover that losing weight simply produces a smaller version of our less-than-perfect bodies. We can wear a smaller size. We look better in clothing. But we still look crummy in a bathing suit.

Who should we blame? Fairy stories or television or movies? Have we spent so much time looking at unrealistically beautiful people that we can no longer recognize normal? Quit watching TV. Go to the mall, to the grocery store, to the discount store. Look around. This is what normal looks like. And normal is okay.

Are we doomed to be shallow and unhappy? If we find a genie's bottle washed up on the beach, will we ask for thin thighs or world peace? If we catch a leprechaun perched on a rainbow, do six-pack abs seem more important than a cure for AIDS?

Focus on the Possible

If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you have to start by making changes in your head. When you decide to diet, do so with realistic expectations. Losing weight changes a number on the scales. It may make you happier and healthier; it won't make you perfect.

If you're a hundred pounds overweight, it's easy to decide that you need to lose weight. But the question is not necessarily easy to answer if you're ten, twenty, or even forty pounds heavier than the recommended weight for your height.

If you're fifty, and you're still trying to weigh what you did when you were twenty, you're expecting a lot. If you're a reasonable weight, if your blood pressure is normal, if you're not diabetic, if your cholesterol and triglycerides are in the normal range, maybe you should quit worrying about the scales and start walking for a half hour every day.

Before you decide to go on a diet, make sure that your present weight isn't okay for this age and stage of your life. If you do decide to go on a diet, focus on getting to a healthy weight and getting some exercise. Focus on what's possible.

Accept the fact that your thighs are not going to be thin. Consider the possibility that it doesn't matter. It's not only mentally unhealthy to set completely unrealistic goals, it also makes losing weight and keeping it off much more difficult.

Copyright © 2005 by Jackie Scott and Diane Scott Kellum

About the Author

Jackie Scott and her daughter, Diane Scott-Kellum, self-published their diet book under the title Eucalorics. They lives in Lexington, Kentucky.

Diane Scott-Kellum, and her mother Jackie Scott self-published their diet book under the title Eucalorics.

Brett A. Scott, M.D., is a board certified neurosurgeon who specializes in complex spine surgery. He lives in Lexington, Kentucky.