Aries, Taurus

Astrology Uncut: A Street Smart Guide to the Stars
by Rob Marriott, Sonya Magett

With Astrology Uncut, the language of the stars meets the code of the streets, the zodiac goes gangsta, and you find out how the day you were born makes you Superfly or Superfreak. Whether you're a schizophrenic Scorpio like Ol' Dirty Bastard, Capricorn cool like Mary J. Blige, or a prideful Leo cat like Jennifer Lopez, this post-hiphop manifesto dishes out the good, the bad, and everything in between—from why you gossip so damn much (communication rules Geminis!) to why you are likely to cry while watching Oprah (sensitive Cancers). You will also discover your sign's

• booty rating (none, onion, or badoonkadoonk?)
• worst-case scenario (Virgo: postsurgery Michael Jackson; Aries: Suge Knight?)
• favorite accessory (mirror or money counter?)
• erogenous zone (your office or your mama's bed?)
• mix tape (music by and for cats under their sun sign)
• moment (Capricorn Frazier knocking out Capricorn Ali or Libran Cochran rhyming in the courtroom?)

Written by former editors of The Source and Honey, this is the no-holds-barred astrological guide to ghettobility—a combination of mental fitness, trifeness, and street smarts. It tells you the real deal on your sign's personality in a way that no other astrology book can.

ARIES   03.21-04.19

THE BASICS

Aries folk are what you might call provocateurs. Ram types love an argument. A beatdown? Even better. Up for any challenge, any opponent, any time, anywhere: whu, nigga, what? Real rah-rah. The trigger first, politic later type. Ruled by the planet Mars, these fire-sign personalities are hot-blooded to a fault and not afraid of banging heads with somebody. Understand: this is how rams communicate. It is also how they read a situation: to see what they can get away with. As in saying some off-the-wall shit like “You always acting like a bitch” and seeing what happens. It's why Aries director and quintessential white boy Quentin Tarantino felt the need to say “nigger” four thousand times in his movie Pulp Fiction. Juuust testing.

NATURAL GENIUS: ARIES LIKE EDDIE MURPHY BALANCE OUT THEIR BIOSTEROUS WAYS WITH OVERLOADS OF CHARISMA AND TALEND.

Aries demand that you respect their gangsta. Will whoop that ass, if pressed. Thrive in conflict. Believe that. Remember when Da Brat got accused of pistol-whipping some woman in Atlanta? We ain't saying she's guilty, but that's some real Aries shit right dere. Want a vivid example of the Aries temperament? Three words: Marion “Suge” Knight. Let's not even talk about all the blood-soaked stories about cats getting their heads beaten in with champagne bottles, or forced to strip in bathroom stalls, or hung from balconies. Suge is Aries from head to toe. Meteoric rise to fame and fortune marked by impulse and violence, all the red suits, big-ass diamonds shining from both lobes. Think about it: Suge is a war-minded alpha male who terrorized an industry for years and left carnage in his wake. But his momma nicknamed him “Sugar Bear.” Warmonger and momma's boy? That's Aries all day.

To truly understand the Aries personality is to recognize that no matter how old they get, they remain, at their core, infants. Babies are cute, magnetic, and, unless moms was smokin' that crack or something, bursting with life. So it goes with Aries. It's why Aries celebrities dub themselves with infantile names like Da Brat and Babyface. Think Redman, hip-hop's preeminent Aries manchild, and his enfant terrible logo. Aries, in fact, are wonderful as children. Because they are in their natural age range, they glow with a special light.

Every sign has a natural age: Aries is the infant. Taurus is the toddler. Gemini represents the age when a child learns to talk and communicate. Cancer is an emotional preteen, and Leo comes with the arrogance of adolescence. Virgo is the young adult. Libra is the age most people get married and fully enter society. Scorpio is the second childhood of the thirties, Sagittarius the expansive forties. Capricorn is the power and prestige that come with the fifties. Aquarius is the wisdom that comes in the seventies. And Pisces is the quiet end of life, where the childlike aspects return. The cycle comes back to Aries the infant and begins again.

Thing is, babies can be tiny tyrants with no concept of anyone else but themselves. Give infants milk and they figure that it was their desire for the milk that somehow brought that about, not any effort on your part. Aries adults are the same way. Like their fellow fire signs Leo and Sag, they require your full attention, and their sense of entitlement can be in the upper ranges of ridiculous. In fact, your total service is their expectation. Aries comedian Martin Lawrence performed a bit in his last stand-up movie about collapsing and being semiparalyzed and then falling in love with his nurse because she would literally wipe his ass while bedridden. Real Aries moment.

Take this one Aries cat we know. Cat is seeing this chick, right? Driving her SUV, using her cell phone, etc. Now one day an unfamiliar number comes up on her phone. So, being an Aries, he confronts her about it. When her answer is unsatisfactory, he tosses her phone out of the window of her car and then refuses to pick her up from work in her car. Why she puts up with the madness might have something to do with (1) her long-suffering Capricorn nature (see page 103) or (2) the fact that he's slinging that thing in the bedroom somethin' awful. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

But to be fair, this is just one side of the Aries dialectic. They can also be gifted, charming, and inspiring. Even Suge, for all his gangsta tactics, had enormous ambition and a real-deal work ethic. And when you set aside all the rumors of violent antics, you'll recognize he was a pioneering figure in addressing some of the historical inequities accepted as common practice in an industry of full of gangsters. Groundbreakers like Billie Holiday, Marvin Gaye, Francis Ford Coppola, Aretha Franklin, Paul Robeson,

Herbie Hancock, and Colin Powell rank among Aries folk who have inspired millions to follow in their footsteps. It makes sense too that Afrika Bambaataa, one of the founding fathers of hip-hop, is Aries. Remember the Daisy Age? Yup, Posdnous of De La Soul had all of us flip our wardrobe for a minute. Don't front.

HEAD SUPREME: PART OF WHAT MAKES ARIES LIKE DIVA DIANA ROSS STAND OUT FROM THE CROWN IS THEIR BIG HEADS.

Free of guile, Aries are usually direct and full of force. Courage comes naturally. And because they are naturally optimistic and overconfident, good things happen for them. Consequently, they get what they want more often than not.

Physically, they're all head. Real-life bobbleheads. It might seem funny, but it's one of the secrets of their charisma. They're easy to spot. Look real close at the Aries stars: Big-head Billy Dee Williams. Eddie Murphy. Martin Lawrence. Stephanie Mills. Star Jones.

When it comes down to it, for the Aries their dick do the talkin'. Metaphorically speaking, of course-dick as in the mannish ego, the pushy, demanding, lemme-in aspect of the human psyche. And if an Aries is female, then her inner dick do the talkin'. That is not always a bad thing, mind you. Like in the bedroom, for example. Rams got that fire under the sheets. High libido. A real appetite and not ashamed to say so. Quite capable of giving you the business, sexually speaking. Both the men and the women get right down to it, but can be playful about the whole thing too. Still, it's a high-impact situation, if you get our meaning.

Interestingly, while the Aries female can, when necessary, get mannish on dat ass, the undercurrent of male energy flowing just below the surface usually doesn't take away from her real-deal sexiness. If anything, it increases it. First, she's open and expressive. Second, she approaches sex with a conqueror's mentality. Kim Cattrall's character, Samantha, on Sex in the City is a thoroughly Aries persona. Again, Da Brat is a good example of Aries sexiness. She released three albums before a stylist could persuade her to dress like a woman, and when she finally did, gottdamn! Homegirl was on fire.

If you take a survey of the certified divas from the past few eras, more than likely they're fire signs, and of those more than a few are Aries: Billie Holiday, Diana Ross, Chaka Khan, Aretha Franklin, Sarah Vaughan, Mariah Carey, Jill Scott, and the list goes on. It might be the plaintive wail of a child that we hear in their voices, but it's also that Aries sexual charisma that draws us to them.

But be warned: their game is tight and is to get your ass open so you give them exactly what they want. Sex is a weapon, one used with skill and without qualm. And if you are fortunate enough to bed an Aries woman, we suggest you represent like you in Congress. Really twist that back out. Get at the stone or Viagra or whatever is going to maintain your energy level, 'cause if you don't, chick will be lookin' at the front door. If you cannot satisfy her she will let you know. It could get ugly. Unless she loves you; things change if Aries catch feelins. When in love Aries, both men and women, are intensely loyal.

Okay, maybe just the women.

All this violence and sexuality and pioneering and initiative are brought about because Aries is whatchu might call up-tempo. Sometimes too up-tempo. Leaping before they look is regular business for Aries types. Aries are motivated by impulse and, like their fire-sign sistren and brethren (Leo and Sagittarius), are the type to stay in fifth gear all the time. No brakes. No reverse.

It's all in how they manage their fire. The fire can be warm and life-giving, or it can rage out of control and burn everything and everyone in sight. As the first of the fire signs, Aries is particularly susceptible to the element's extremes. If not careful, these personality types are prone to “flaming out”: Marvin Gaye, Billie Holiday, Chaka Khan, Martin Lawrence, Robert Downey, Jr., all struggled to contain their fire-born demeanors. In Q-Tip's case, instead of his personality, it was his massive record collection that literally went up in flames.

All in all, Aries plays the warrior: confronting challenges without hesitation, bringing that drama to whoever wants it. Impatient, somewhat gruff, and magnetic, Aries keeps it hot wherever and however. Always in danger of going too far and doing too much. But when they're on point and their selfishness is placed in check, Aries are charismatic boundary breakers, soldiers to a higher cause, full of valor. They got the nerve to affect real change in their arena, whatever it may be.

THE INFAMOUS Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Maya Angelou, Babyface, Pearl Bailey, Afrika Bambaataa, Rick Barry, Warren Beatty, David Blaine, Elton Brand, Marlon Brando, Jennifer Capriati, Mariah Carey, Liz Claiborne, Eric Clapton, Jimmy Cliff, Francis Ford Coppola, Da Brat, Claire Danes, Shannen Doherty, Tony Dorsett, Buster Douglas, Robert Downey, Jr., Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Carmen Electra, Aretha Franklin, Walt Frazier, Andy Garcia, Marvin Gaye, Al Green, Clara McBride Hale (Hale House founder), Herbie Hancock, Billie Holiday, Harry Houdini, Kate Hudson, Elton John, Norah Jones, Star Jones, Ashley Judd, Chaka Khan, Marion “Suge” Knight, Lucy Lawless, Martin Lawrence, Ananda Lewis, Bob Mackie, John Madden, Moses Malone, Stephanie Mills, Moses, Eddie Murphy, John Oates, Sarah Jessica Parker, Teddy Pendergrass, Popeye, Colin Powell, DJ Premier, Tito Puente, Keisha Knight Pulliam, Q-Tip, Redman, Paul Robeson, Diana Ross, Annabella Sciorra, Jill Scott, Steven Seagal, William Shatner, Naomi Sims, Paul Sorvino, Gloria Steinem, Julia Stiles, John Stockton, Sheryl Swoopes, Quentin Tarantino, Peter Tosh, Luther Vandross, Vincent van Gogh, Sarah Vaughan, Christopher Walken, Booker T. Washington, Muddy Waters, Billy Dee Williams, Pharrell Williams

TAURUS   04.20-05.20

'Bout it, 'Bout it

THE RUNDOWN feminine, fixed, air Motto I have Sound bite “Greed is good” (Gordon Gekko in Wall Street) Ruling planet Venus Color pale blue Rock emerald Physical neck and throat Icon Wall Street bull Genius Malcolm X Beverage Courvoisier Guilty pleasure coppin' twenty-four-inch rims Accessory money counter Ride BMW X3 Find them at the dealership Visual Scarface Moment Master P wrapping his helicopter in Gucci logos Street occupation drug lord Mix tape Too Short, “Gettin' It”; Master P, “Is There a Heaven 4 a Gangsta?,” “'Bout It, 'Bout It”; Busta Rhymes, “Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See”; Janet Jackson, “Control,” “Pleasure Principle”; Stevie Wonder, “Do I Do”; Junior M.A.F.I.A., “Get Money”; EPMD, “Strictly Business”; Ralph Tresvant, “Sensitivity” Best-case scenario Stevie Wonder Worst-case scenario Adolf Hitler Spot St. Louis, ancient Egypt Erogenous zone bank vault Vice greed Natural talent makin' money Compatibilities Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn

GHETTO INDEX

Gangstability	9
Booty quotient	7
Bling quotient	8
Drama quotient	2
Don status	7
Trick status	5
Game quotient	6
Shiest quotient	4
Freak quotient	9

THE BASICS

Money, power, sex. That's what's up for the majority of Taureans. To borrow a phrase from someone, Taurus folk are sexually attracted to money. It's why Taurean pimpdaddy and world-renowned freak Too short spells his name with the dollar sign. The Taurean gets off from getting it. It's the joy of acquisition, really, and a deep-seated appreciation for the sensual things in life. Money, cars, clothes, houses, furniture, good food, fine wine, and wet sex. There's never enough.

A Taurus prostitute, rationalizing her occupation, said exactly what motivated her in plain language: “Look, all this I'm doin' right now, all this hustlin', it's all about havin' thangs.” Houses, loved ones, and possessions are more than important to Tauruses; they're crucial. The fear of losing it once it's had runs hella deep.

They live by the pleasure principle. Bling is regular business. Sensual types, they appreciate the finer things in life and will indulge themselves once work is done. Blame it on Venus, their ruling planet. In the same way Mars makes Aries warlike and hype, Venus makes Taurus comfort-loving and hungry. The love planet also blesses Taureans with grace. There is an artistic quality to the way they go about everything they do. Taurus legend Duke Ellington, one of the great American composers, was as monumental a figure for his immaculate style and panache as he was for his legendary compositions and band. On the more garish side of things, Liberace, the original bling king, made lavish luxury his trademark. Cat had sapphires bigger than ice cubes. Taureans are obsessed with acquiring the best available. This lust for the finer things in life is ultimately what gives them their infamous determination.

Although not incredibly ambitious initially, when Taureans are motivated they are excellent workers. Their energy is slow-moving but steady and consistent. Dependable and hardworking, like fellow earth signs Capricorn and Virgo, they make it happen. 'Bout it. Sturdy, hard-workin' folk. Steady, slow-burning. But if the work ethic is not instilled in them early, Taureans can also be the laziest maufuckers in the world.

When they're roused to anger, it gets real ugly. Their normally sweet disposition turns real nasty. When Taurus actor Ving Rhames, in his role as a raped drug dealer in Pulp Fiction, announces he's going to “get medieval on that ass” to his rapists, it's the Taurus in him talking. A Taurean defeat is a rare thing.

© 2004 by Rob Marriott & Sonya Magett. Excerpted by permission of One World/Ballantine, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

About the Author

Award-winning journalist Rob Marriott began his professional writing career as a teenager at the Village Voice. He has written for the Village Voice, Rolling Stone, Spin, Vibe, and Essence, was an editor at The Source, and was a founding editor at XXL. His work has also been included in the books Tupac Shakur: The Vibe History Of Hip-Hop and Hip-Hop Divas. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

Sonya Magett has worked in magazine publishing and entertainment for ten years; she began fresh out of high school. She is recognized as a preeminent stylist and fashion editor, having worked for or with The Source, Vibe, Rolling Stone, Mode, and BET.com. She was the launching fashion editor for Honey magazine. Among the celebs she has styled: OutKast, Maxwell, Tyra Banks, Lauryn Hill, Mary J. Blige, Lil'Kim, Destiny's Child, Erykah Badu, Notorious B.I.G., and LL Cool J. She is currently a style director at a new women's magazine from Time inc. and at Essence magazine. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.