Intentions

Change Almost Anything in 21 Days
by Ruth Fishel, M.Ed.

Think You Can't Change? Think Again!

At midlife, John has grown weary of his accounting career and longs to cultivate his long lost dream of being a writer. He wonders, is it too late? Is it worth the risk?

Olivia wants to lose weight but can't give up her intense craving for sweets. Dieting only makes it worse. Will she ever get her problem under control?

Janet has always been shy and unassertive, letting other people run her life. She wants to take charge, but feels helpless.

Do you, too, have a behavior you'd like to change but-because of past failures, fear of the unknown or a multitude of other reasons-are unable to take that first step? Now there's help! This book is an awesome strengthening tool toward the beginning of your healing process. Change Almost Anything in 21 Days will teach you practical solutions to solve your problems by creating your very own affirmations to achieve that inner peace you so long for.

Author Ruth Fishel, who faced a personal battle with alcoholism, used the power of affirmations as one of the ways to achieve health and spiritual wellness. She discovered the miracles you can achieve by reprogramming your mind with positive thoughts and, as she has done for readers and workshop participants from coast to coast, shares the steps to achieve them here with you. Along with endearing illustrations by Bonny Van de Kamp that are sure to keep a smile on your face, this book offers innovative exercises that have helped people from all walks of life.

Affirmations really work and you'll have support as you read stories of other people like yourself who wanted to make a change in their lives-and succeeded! From annoying habits like procrastination to life-threatening problems like drug abuse, this powerful book offers a guiding hand to find the solution that has eluded you.

Chapter 1

Intentions

Intentions set into process every aspect of your life.

— Gary Zukav

Change begins with the intention to change. In the Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav gives us the following example of intending to change your job. "As the intention to leave your present job emerges into your consciousness, you begin to open yourself up to the possibility of working somewhere else or doing something else. You begin to feel less and less at home with what you are doing. Your higher self has begun the search for your next job."

I remember a time when I was looking for a new convertible. While I was in college, I had a very old convertible. As my finances improved over the years, I was able to purchase newer cars and finally could afford a new car. This was around the time that the Mustang and the Firebird convertibles first came out. I had not been aware of them until someone told me they were great cars. As I drove around town I began seeing them everywhere. My children were very young and when we went on errands they would yell out, "There's a Firebird!" and "There's a Mustang!" I had created an intention, and my awareness grew. It was as if the universe was providing me with plenty of opportunities to make a decision.

Volition is the mental urge or signal which precedes an action.

— Joseph Goldstein

So we begin with an intention. Something we want to add, reduce, change or let go. We intend to make it happen.

June is a true miracle, a poster woman for affirmations. When she was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer, it sent her and her family reeling. Fortunately, June had a strong intention to live.

She wrote, "That I'm still here physically almost a year later is a testament to modern medical science. That I'm facing each day with hope, acceptance, inner independence and an eagerness to learn from this amazing experience is in part due to my renewed association with your affirmation meditation group. I needed something very basic when I joined the group five months after diagnosis.

"Though tolerating chemotherapy extremely well, the reality of my situation could be daunting at times. I needed something to help shift my focus from treating the disease that afflicts my body to treating the whole me. I needed to remember that I am not alone on this journey. This was my intention, and affirmations clarify intentions. We came up with what turned out to be a very powerful affirmation for me, which helped me accept my life as it is today with growing peace and a great deal of joy:

'Healing energy is flowing through every cell in my body with every breath I take.'"

When June completed writing her affirmation for 21 days, she found another powerful affirmation that was extremely helpful for her:

"I am letting go of doubt, fear, anger and distrust and quietly accept the Unknown."

Why not take some time now to think about what you would like to change in your life. You can write your thoughts down, and then, with the succeeding steps in this book, you will learn how you can make the change.

Is there something you would like to add, such as more meaning in your job, a new relationship or a deeper spiritual connection?

Is there something you would like to reduce, such as weight, negative thinking or fear?

Is there something you would like to change, such as where you live, your job or your attitude?

Is there something you would like to let go of, such as resentment, anger or pride?

Self-Talk

Thoughts of your mind have made you what you are and thoughts of your mind will make you what you become from this day forward.

— Catherine Ponder

Before going any further into affirmations, it's important to take some time to become familiar with the term "self-talk." I use this term to describe the conversations we have in our minds, the words we say to ourselves. We constantly tell ourselves all kinds of things which we then internalize as truth. For example, a person with an eating problem might be 5' 4" tall and weigh 105 pounds and still tell herself she is too fat. A very competent person might not go for a job interview after convincing him- or herself that he or she could not be hired.

It is crucially important to become aware of your self-talk if you hope to change it. Practice listening to the way you speak to yourself. Observe the effect that it has on your personal belief system.

Meditation is a wonderful technique for helping you to slow down and listen to your own thoughts. The practice of mindfulness, a form of meditation, not only helps you to increase your awareness of how you talk to yourself, but also helps you to stay in the present moment. I've written more about this in my other books.

Mindfulness is simply a quieting down of our mind, a settling down of our thoughts. Sitting quietly for only twenty minutes every morning, you begin to see how your mind works. By concentrating on your breathing, you'll see how your mind goes off in many other directions. Bring your attention back to your breathing. Every time your mind strays away, just notice it without any judgment and bring your attention back to your breathing.

This practice helps you become aware of your self-talk. People who are just beginning this practice are often amazed at the language they use on themselves. They might discover themselves using abusive language such as, "Stupid! I should be able to stay with my breath." Many people have been talking to themselves like this for their entire lives, but have not been aware of it. They don't know that they are holding themselves back or keeping themselves in a state of low self-esteem.

Once we recognize and understand the power our thoughts have over our actions and feelings, we can learn to detach emotionally from them and observe them, sorting out the negative and destructive ones from the positive and constructive ones; realizing we do not have to believe them. These thoughts lose their power over us as soon as we become aware of them, because we can then choose to create more positive and constructive self-talk to inspire, encourage, affirm, accept, respect and love ourselves.

Remember:

• We are what we think about!
• What we think about expands.
• We feel what we think about.
• We create what we think about in our lives.
• When awareness increases, we draw to us what we think about.
• We attract what we think about.

© 2003 Health Communications, Inc.

About the Author

Ruth Fishel, M.Ed., C.A.C. is the cofounder and former director of Serenity, Inc. She now teaches, writes and presents workshops and retreats throughout the country, helping people become whole and healthy using the tools of meditation, affirmations, and visualizations.