Part 2

E-Mail Etiquette: Do's, Don'ts and Disaster Tales from People Magazine's Internet Manners Expert
by Samantha Miller

(Page 2 of 2)

SIGN-OFFS

How should I sign e-mail?

Like TV news anchors, Netizens love signature sign-offs. Hippies use "Peace"; gen Y, "C-ya L8R"; acronym addicts, "TTFN." ("Ta-ta for now.") Some savvy users scorn cutesiness and simply sign their name or initials. I say creativity is no crime, but be original-or you'll look as pretentious as non-Italians who double-cheek kiss a ciao.

For personal e-mail, signing with your first name or initials is fine. A sign-off like "Love," "Cheers," or "All my best" is optional. In fact, to ardent e-mail minimalists, signing your name is unnecessary on a message to someone you e-mail frequently. (An exception: If you share an e-mail account-with a spouse, for instance-always sign messages so readers know which person they came from.)

For business e-mail, use a standard sign-off with your full name-a sign-off such as "Sincerely" or the less formal "Cheers" or "Best wishes" is optional-followed by your contact information. (Like your business card: name, title, company name, address, e-mail address, deluxe assortment of phone, fax, cellular, and pager numbers.) It'll be easy for your recipient to copy your 411 into her Rolodex or address-book program-and if she forgets, it'll be at the bottom of every e-mail you send her.

Net Peeve :(

When you don't put your contact information into your signature file. That's just a courtesy. I use my old e-mail as my Rolodex.

Signature Files

Most e-mail programs let you create a customized "signature" file that's automatically appended to every outgoing message. (Some let you create several, so you can have different ones for business and pleasure.) This is great for business e-mail-create a signature with your contact information, and you'll never have to type it again. As usual, stay away from any fancy formatting.

Jane Smith, CEO
Acme Anvils Corp.
76 Main Street
Toontown, CA 99999
[phone]
[phone](fax)
[e-mail]

Or a more compact option, if you rarely use snail mail or faxes (and are willing to put up with the inevitable "Hi. Can I get your snail-mail address?" notes):

Jane Smith, CEO
Acme Anvils Corp.
[phone]

Some users might also want to insert a short (and I mean short!) self-promotional plug:

Visit us at acmeanvils.com

or

Look for my new memoir, Heavyweight: A Life in Anvils, coming in January

Do you need a signature file for personal e-mail? Not really, since your friends presumably already know how to get in touch with you. But some users enjoy creating a signature with a favorite quote, high-school-yearbook-style (one can get a glimpse into a user's personality by looking to see if she's picked Ayn Rand or "All you need is love"), or other informational tidbit: A minister might throw in his upcoming sermon topic; a sports nut might list his home team's latest record. These tidbits are fine in personal e-mail. (They're not appropriate for business e-mail.) Just keep them short-two lines maximum. Whatever you do, don't put a picture in your signature, whether an actual photo or a graphic created from keyboard symbols. They're annoying-and beyond tacky.

I'm job-hunting. May I put a link to my résumé (it's on the Web) in my e-mail?

All's fair in love, war, and the rat race. A short P.S. (not lengthy wheedling) won't bug anyone-and it might help you network. Just don't post anything online you don't want the whole world (or your current employer) to see.

Net Peeve :(

Signatures longer than the body of the e-mail.

Net Peeve :(

I'm in contact with a lot of creative people, and they put a quote at the bottom of their signature-something from Thoreau or whatever. It's great for the first two e-mails you get, but if you don't change it, that's really lame. At least change the quote every couple of months.

Net Peeve :(

People whose automatic signatures at the bottom of e-mails say something horribly outdated. People graduate from college and get a job, but their signature lines say they're still in college.

IMHO (In My Humble Opinion): Over-Emoting?

Why, oh why, do :-)s make so many people :-(? Translation: Why do e-mail smiley faces, aka emoticons, make so many people unhappy?

Boy, do some people hate smileys. Irritating, they call them. Juvenile. Unprofessional.

I'm taking a stand. Etiquette smiles on smileys. Well, some of the time, anyway.

In the sterile world of e-mail, where you can't see a correspondent's face or hear the tone of his or her voice, it's dangerously easy to misinterpret messages. Almost every e-mailer can tell a tale of a joke that a recipient took seriously or sarcasm that got mistaken for brusqueness. That's where emoticons-used properly- come in. Emoticons give senders a shorthand way to express their feelings and make sure misinterpretation-prone messages or comments are understood in the sense they were intended. A basic portrait gallery of emoticons (tilt your head to the left to read):

:-) Smiling: "I'm happy about this" or "I'm just kidding"

;-) Winking: "I'm being flirtatious" or "I'm joking"

:-D Laughing: "That's funny!"

:-P Sticking tongue out: "I'm being silly" or "Nyah, nyah!"

:-( Frowning: "I'm sad about this" or "I sympathize"

:-] Smirk: "I'm being sarcastic"

:-\ "I'm skeptical" or "I'm perplexed"

:-| Apathy: "I don't care about this" or "No comment"

:-o "I'm shocked!" or "I'm yelling!"

Variations are myriad (noses, for example, may be left out at the user's discretion). Creative e-mailers have devised scores of smileys, most more silly than useful. For example:

:*) "I'm drunk"

-:-) A punk rocker

*****:-) Marge Simpson

5:-) Elvis

%-~ Picasso

*<|:o)> Santa Claus

:-{8 Person who is unhappy with the results of her breast-enlargement surgery, according to humorist Dave Barry

Such over-the-top creations, of course, are part of why many Netizens revile smileys. Another strike against smileys is their overuse. Some e-mailers sprinkle emoticons throughout their messages like middle-schoolers dotting their i's with smiley faces. No wonder smiley-haters slam them as childish. But even adults should learn to live with-and even love- smileys. Anyone who's ever had a flip e-mail comment misinterpreted knows that smileys guard against a very real problem. "I wish you'd start using subject lines in your e-mail" comes across as testy, while "I wish you'd start using subject lines in your e-mail. :-)" softens the comment, showing you're saying it with a smile on your face. "Another brilliant idea from the boss. ;-)" implies you're not exactly about to nominate him for a MacArthur genius grant. "I've really screwed it up this time :-(" suggests that the sender is genuinely upset, not joking. Smileys can make the difference between giving a recipient a giggle-and getting a reply saying "Are you okay?" or "Up yours!"

Finally, consider this: Smileys make the e-mail world safe for sarcasm, humor, and irony. And a world without sarcasm, humor, and irony wouldn't be worth living in.

Help emoticons make it back into etiquette's good graces by exercising restraint:

Use them only when necessary, directly after comments that require them. One per e-mail is plenty; two is pushing it. (If you're in a silly or sarcastic mood, readers will quickly get the picture.) Three or more will make readers think you're still in fourth grade.

Steer clear of "creative" emoticons. Using a smiling vampire rabbi emoticon doesn't tell readers anything-except maybe "I'm a major nerd."

Don't use emoticons in every message you send or in your signature. They're a tool, not a fashion statement. Smiley addicts are as annoying as people who tell everyone they meet, "Have a nice day."

Today, you can often send smileys right-side-up: Several e-mail programs offer graphical versions of emoticons-variations on the familiar yellow smiley face-that users can insert into e-mail. Some even automatically turn typed smileys into graphics. These high-tech smileys are nifty, but somehow I think the old-school style is more charming.

Net Peeve :(

People who use elaborate emoticons like a smiling rabbi. That's ridiculous. Or people who use eighteen of them in one e-mail. That's ridiculous too.

Emoticons at the Office

Okay, smiley-haters might grudgingly admit, go ahead and use smileys in personal e-mail. But shouldn't we draw the line at work?

In fact, emoticons should be perfectly acceptable in informal messages between co-workers. Office e-mail is just as likely to be misinterpreted-and misinterpretations can be even more dangerous at work. As long as workers follow the rules above, there's no reason the occasional smiley should be seen as unprofessional.

For smiley skeptics who just can't bring themselves to use the things, there are alternatives. One somewhat more professional-looking option is to use asides or abbreviations (traditionally set off within pointy brackets).

Another alternative: Write out exactly what you're trying to convey with an emoticon. Use phrases like "And I say this with a smile on my face" or "I'm just being sarcastic. Thanks for letting me vent." They're not particularly punchy, but they do the trick.

In more formal business e-mail situations, of course, it's best to steer clear of jokes, sarcasm, or anything that could be misinterpreted, smiley or not. If you're considering using a smiley, something's wrong.

Survey Says,
63 percent of workers say they like smileys.
Source:Vault.com

Embarrassing E-Moment

For want of a smiley, a kingdom was lost?

A chilly e-mail exchange helped fuel a bitter feud between Rob Glaser, the CEO of RealNetworks, and his former employer Bill Gates. Glaser, a former top Microsoft executive, had been asked to testify at a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing investigating software-industry business practices. Glaser believed that Microsoft had been using its monopoly power to try to damage his company. But before heading to Washington, Glaser sent a polite e-mail to Gates requesting a meeting to talk the problem over:

"Bill. Hope all is well with you and your family," Glaser wrote, according to USA Today, explaining that committee chairman Senator Orrin Hatch had persuaded him to testify.

"I'm very interested in understanding your perspective on the matters that Hatch is likely to want me to talk about, and I'm happy to share with you in advance what I'm likely to say in my testimony. Please let me know if it would work out for us to talk soon."

In his reply, Gates declined to meet. "While you are in Washington," he wrote, "I suggest you visit the National Gallery and the Smithsonian."

Glaser thought Gates' reply was cold and flip. "The nature of e-mail is you can't see somebody's face," he told USA Today. "I wouldn't look at [the e-mail] and say he felt really bad about it." He said the e-mail helped him make up his mind to denounce Microsoft. Would a smiley face have saved Gates from Glaser's damaging testimony? We'll never know.

Copyright © 2001 by Samantha Miller

About the Author

Samantha Miller is a contributing editor for People Magazine.