Part 2

Bridal Guide Magazine's How to Plan the Perfect Wedding Without Going Broke
by Diane Forden

(Page 2 of 2)

Mothers and Others: Deciding Who Will Be Involved

Those close to you (particularly mothers) will most likely volunteer to do anything and everything you need to prepare for your joyous occasion. But it's completely up to you how much of your pre-wedding work you want to delegate. You should first talk it over with your fianc?-how does he feel about your mom or his mom being involved? Does he regard it as considerate or intrusive?

Another thing to take into account: if your parents are paying for the wedding (or his are), they may feel it's their “right” to have a say in the decision-making process-whether they want you to be married in a religious ceremony or hold the reception at their country club. Rather than antagonize them or seem ungrateful, calmly explain that you and your fianc? are adults and want to make most of the decisions on your own. Put it to them this way: it's good training for the decisions you'll need to make over the course of your marriage. Stand your ground. Your folks may gripe at first, but they want you to be happy, so they will most likely give in.

There are, however, parents and others who don't know when to back down or mind their own business. They mean well-and honestly, all they want is to feel needed and appreciated-but they insist on being too involved. How should you handle it? Getting angry is never the answer (although it would probably feel great to blow your top!). Instead, be proactive: before your mother starts trying to elbow in on your plans, assign her small tasks that make her feel useful. Choose chores that, frankly, you wouldn't mind having someone else handle. Have her research the cost of wedding cakes in your area so you have a ballpark figure to budget into your plans or call florists for a list of flowers that will be in season the month you're marrying. Is she a classical music buff? Ask her to be in charge of selecting the songs for the processional.

Even if Mom loses her head now and then (tears, threats, tantrums, and so forth), try to keep yours. Understand that your loving mother hasn't really turned into a monster-she's just under a great deal of stress these days, not unlike yourself. A daughter or son's wedding can be a difficult time for a parent emotionally. She may feel as if she's losing her child, and that can stir up jealousy, fear, anger, even sorrow. Be patient and try to put yourself in her shoes.

Sometimes, however, help can (and should!) be welcome. If you feel there are a million things to do and only one of you to go around, you can also ask your fianc? and your bridesmaids to pitch in, provided what you're asking is not unreasonable. Being in the wedding party is an honor, but it is also an obligation. Don't feel guilty about sending out an SOS if you need it-that's what friends are for.

Extra! Extra! Announcing It in Print

The quickest way to get the word out to far-flung friends and acquaintances is to announce your engagement in publications. You'll want to contact your local newspaper as well as school alumni magazines and periodicals that cover your business/career. Call and ask how each publication prefers to receive information (via e-mail, fax, or regular mail) and whether they accept photographs (color or black and white?). Are there any specific deadlines? Some papers will charge you a small fee per line of text; others consider it “news” and will write a free mini-article based on the information you provide. Of course, you shouldn't expect to make the front page (unless you're marrying royalty!). The size of the announcement will depend on how much space the newspaper/magazine has available at that time. If you send in your information and still haven't seen your name in print after a few weeks, a follow-up call might do the trick.

If you provide all the information the papers need so that they don't have to call you with questions, most will happily run your announcement. To make it easy, just choose a format below and fill in the blanks. Then retype and send “To the attention of the Weddings Editor” (or whomever the publication specifies-it helps to get a name). If you're including a photo, make sure to clearly label the back with your names and a return address. Also include your name, address, e-mail, and phone numbers at the bottom of the announcement, so they can contact you for confirmation or if they need to know anything more.

Copyright © 2003 by LifeTime Media, Inc. and Bridal Guide

About the Author

Diane Forden is the Editor-in-Chief of Bridal Guide Magazine.