Watching TV, Being Patient

Serenity in Motion: Inner Peace: Anytime, Anywhere
by Nancy O'Hara

(Page 5 of 5)

Watching TV

When you watch television do you do it mindlessly, hoping to relax and put out of your mind the travails of the day? Do you ever sit for hours in front of the tube to escape your usual life? Do you do it for lack of something else to do? Do you always have it on in the background even if you're not sitting and watching it? Do you sometimes feel guilty after watching it, sure that you could have spent the time more productively?

Whatever your answers to these questions may be, the bottom line is that if you have a TV in your house you have a relationship with it. If you don't have a TV, you can substitute your computer, CD player, radio, or telephone here. In any case, your relationship with your appliances can be improved-by employing the tools of mindfulness and concentration. Two tools that we will be using throughout this book to nurture serenity and contentedness.

Mindfulness first. If there's a particular show you're fond of or you want to wind down from your day, make the decision to watch TV and set the time aside exclusively for this purpose. Consciously choosing to turn it on and watch, rather than slipping into an old habitual pattern, is the first step to mindful viewing. Then sit down and just watch the program. Don't eat, read, clean, or do anything else as you watch TV. Mindfully pay attention to what you are watching, to where you are sitting as you watch, to how you're feeling, and what your enjoyment level is.

Then concentrate on just watching your show. No strain or exertion. Simply concentrate on what you've chosen to do. Be there with the TV, just you and it. Even if family members are watching with you this can still be your exercise, with you and the TV. No one else need even know what you're doing.

Spend a week or two mindfully concentrating on this activity of sitting still and just watching. Take notice of the various realizations that arise in connection with this practice. Are you enjoying TV more or less this way? Does it make you want to watch more or less often? What have you discovered about yourself vis-à-vis your habits of television watching?

This practice is not intended to curb or increase the time you spend watching TV. It is meant merely to guide you toward consciously and mindfully choosing when and what to watch so that your serenity is not compromised. Once you know what works best for you, give yourself permission to occasionally indulge in some mindless TV watching, just so long as you mindfully make that choice; give yourself the freedom not to punish yourself or feel guilty. And then, enjoy.

Being Patient

No matter how quickly we want things to change or how much we want things, people, situations to be different than they are or how much we want, period, the wisest choice is usually to do nothing. This is the ultimate being-still practice. Doing nothing seems like just that: nothing. Perhaps on the surface it looks that way, but when we do nothing there is a lot going on. This something is called life.

Consider the word “life” for just a moment. What is it? See if you can detach from what you call your life and become an observer, a detached anthropologist of what it is you call your life. Can you see that you cannot know how events in your life will evolve? Can you see that your life has energy with or without your hands on the controls and that it usually goes much smoother if you let go? Can you feel the calm that results from stepping aside for these few moments as you observe this phenomenon called your life, and let life live you rather than you living life?

If you do not experience these things right away, do not worry. Practicing the patience to let life events unfold on their own will give you an opportunity to truly participate in your life rather than continually trying to control the outcome, the results, the solution. And this practice will lead to equanimity and a life filled with life. Ask yourself, what more could you want? As you continue to practice patience, you will know that all is as it should be and your job is simply to show up and ask each day how you can be of service to yourself, your loved ones, and your life. And remember that all answers will be revealed, as my spiritual teacher is fond of saying, “with the readiness of time.”

To put it another way, being patient is simply this: just being and expecting nothing.

Copyright © 2003 by Nancy O'Hara

About the Author

Nancy O'Hara was drawn to Zen Buddhism in the mid-1980s, after the death of her father, and found solace in the profound stillness of silent meditation. In a Jukei ceremony in 1992 Nancy committed to the precepts of Buddhism and was given the dharma name of Myochi, which means “wondrous wisdom.” All of her books offer spiritual guidance for everyday life based on her own experiences and the teaching of Zen Buddhism. Nancy conducts meditation classes and workshops, and corporate seminars and retreats on mindfulness at work. She lives in New York City. Visit her at www.nancyohara.com