Sitting, Waiting

Serenity in Motion: Inner Peace: Anytime, Anywhere
by Nancy O'Hara

(Page 4 of 5)

Sitting

Although we may find ourselves sitting down through much of the day, how many of us ever make a conscious decision to just sit? Usually when we're sitting, we are also driving or eating or working or watching a movie or relaxing. Sitting is usually about something other than just sitting. And if we've ever contemplated the idea of sitting for the sake of sitting, perhaps we've concluded that it would be a simple waste of time-so even if we've been advised to do it, we often choose not to. Just the thought of sitting and doing nothing may terrify us, especially when it's linked to the word “meditation.” Take this moment and discard all your preconceived notions of what sitting still is all about. Drop the word “meditation” from your vocabulary. And then allow yourself to be open to sitting in a new way.

Just sitting. Here you will find the source for your serenity. Just sitting. Here you will develop a practice of being still that you can then bring into all your other activities. Just sitting. This is the only suggestion in this book that it's best not to skip.

So take a seat with the clear intention to just sit. Begin with five or ten minutes and use your body and your breath to do it. Let your mind come along for the ride, or in this case “the sit.” Concentrate on your posture (erect), your breathing (deep and slow), and your fingers and toes (relaxed). Begin each session with closed eyes in order to draw your attention inward. Then once you're focused, gently open your eyes and just breathe. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go. Watch as your mind tries to pull you away from any discomfort you might experience. Breathe deeply into your belly. Expect nothing. Simply and gently, just sit and breathe. Practice being still. The longer you still your body, and the deeper into your belly you breathe, the quieter your mind will become. This practice of sitting still and doing nothing will eventually create space between thoughts. This space will hold pure, intrinsic awareness. This will be the breeding ground for serenity-not just as you sit, but at all times. So sit still and discover this internal mechanism for creating peace and harmony within, no matter what is going on outside. Then you can carry it with you always and tap into it whenever you need it.

Waiting

Waiting. We all do it. We wait for the movie to start, the train to come, the weekend, our vacation. We can't wait until we meet the “right” partner, we're in the perfect job, or we have more money. What we're really doing in all these situations is waiting for our life to happen. Waiting for the next thing. Biding our time. It isn't your fault, you might say-“the train isn't here yet” or “I'm so unhappy in my job.” Perhaps. But consider this: the train may never come. Then what? Your life will have been about just waiting. If this idea doesn't appeal to you, then you can begin to transform your waiting time into being-present time.

One way to convert the “waiting” into “being” is with language. All it takes is some willingness and then awareness. Each time you notice yourself using the word “wait,” change it to something else. For instance, “I'm waiting for the train, it's late again” can be changed to “I'm at the train station. My train isn't on schedule. That gives me time to read undistracted. What a gift.” From negative, biding-time language to positive, present-moment language. Feel the difference? And once your language changes, your attitude and behavior will change. And then peace of mind will be close at hand.

Usually we get irritated if we find ourselves waiting for something or someone, because we feel duped. We did not schedule the waiting time into our day, we are in a hurry to get to the next thing, and we feel at the mercy of some outside force. All of which makes us feel like victims. But if we can see the flip side of this and admit that it is not something being done to us, it is just something that happens, we can then react in a more positive way and use it to our advantage.

Waiting can be an opportunity, a gift of time, to spend constructively, frivolously, or however else you choose. Use it to do the crossword puzzle or read that magazine you never have time to otherwise. Daydream or write a love letter that you may never send. Strike up a conversation with a stranger. Not to pass the time, but to be present in time. Notice how time expands when you're waiting for something else to happen. The seconds seem to tick by slower than usual. Rather than defining this as lost time, see it as found time; as time that moves slowly, time that you can be in and savor. Once you rephrase your approach to this waiting period, settle down into it and let the power of it, the gift of it, wash over you and create stillness in your mind. You will see how easy this is to do once you do it the first time. Coax your mind back from its destination-where you expected to be once the “waiting” is over-and be present in your current circumstances. You will learn soon enough that you can't be anywhere else. So why not be here and enjoy it? Otherwise, one day your life will be over and you won't remember how you got there.

Copyright © 2003 by Nancy O'Hara

About the Author

Nancy O'Hara was drawn to Zen Buddhism in the mid-1980s, after the death of her father, and found solace in the profound stillness of silent meditation. In a Jukei ceremony in 1992 Nancy committed to the precepts of Buddhism and was given the dharma name of Myochi, which means “wondrous wisdom.” All of her books offer spiritual guidance for everyday life based on her own experiences and the teaching of Zen Buddhism. Nancy conducts meditation classes and workshops, and corporate seminars and retreats on mindfulness at work. She lives in New York City. Visit her at www.nancyohara.com