What Are Country Ways?

Country Ways: Secrets for Finding and Keeping a Country Man
by Joyce Marlow

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Chapter 1

It's pretty much a given that New Yorkers have a different lifestyle from people in California or Iowa. Some of those differences are obvious, like the landscape, buildings, and whether you take the freeway or subway to work. Other differences, like how people talk and act, may be a little harder to explain, but we know they're there. Taking the analogy a step further, it isn't hard to imagine that the culture of city and country might be quite different, too. When I talk about “Country Ways,” I'm referring to the culture and customs of small-town, farm, and ranch life.

There's a warmth and richness to country life that harkens back to a time when people were close, whether neighbors, families, or friends. Country life naturally brings people together, rather than keeping them apart, and I think that's because all of us have at least one thing in common. We were either born to, or have chosen to be, country.

Country Ways is a return to the basics-love, courage, and commitment, working hard, loving wisely, and enjoying life to the fullest. Country life is a more authentic, simpler way to live that's measured more by the cycles of nature than the clock, and that means most people are on the same schedule. If you're branding cattle or helping mares foal, your neighbors are probably doing the same. Gardens are sowed in early spring, and the last vegetables are picked in late fall. When you're getting ready to harvest wheat and see storm clouds on the horizon, everyone hustles to help. Neighbors, both far and wide, have a lot in common out in the country, and that brings them together.

Country Ways means knowing we're in this way of life together, that we can count on each other, and that we want to. It doesn't matter whether you have enough money to hire extra help or if you are the hired help, everybody gets mud on their boots. That connection is the heart of Country Ways. It's the same whether you're just starting out or have the biggest ranch in the county. Being neighborly comes with the territory, and the feeling's as natural as the land we work and the families we cherish.

Country Ways is seeing people for who they are rather than what they wear. In the city I'm often drawn to notice the little things that people do to call attention to themselves, to assert that they're individuals. That sort of thing is alien to country life. My neighbor simply is who he is, and dressing him in a $200 sport coat won't change him a bit-and we both know that. In the country we go for substance over image and realize value isn't always measured by a man's wallet.

Country living creates a partnership between you and your man, both in life and love. You're both responsible for the relationship, the farm, ranch, home-based business, or whatever it is you do. You get equal billing, credit, rewards, and hard knocks. Country Ways is being down-to-earth, accountable for your actions, working hard, and loving strong. There isn't much room for “prima donna” types, and princesses need not apply.

Country Ways means letting the little things go and finding ways to work the big things out because you need each other. That may sound like a compromise, and it is, because that's what makes a relationship work. You're making an investment in your life, and every minute counts. You can't have it all your own way, but neither can he or anyone else. Instead you find a middle ground and work from there.

I've found that country men will do almost anything for you if they see love reflected in your eyes. In other words, your reaction to his behavior reaffirms those loving feelings. Simple, really. Country men crave your respect and admiration and are willing to do a lot to earn it. They don't want flattery, they want appreciation, a smile, and a thank-you.

In return, your country man will love, cherish, and encourage you in everything you do. He'll cheer accomplishments, forget failures, and kiss your disappointments away. Does that sound like the guy you've been looking for? Are you willing to do what it takes to find and keep him? Then you're up to the challenge of Country Ways!

© 1998 by Joyce Marlow

About the Author

Joyce Marlow is an ex-city dweller who met her country man at a conference, fell in love, and joined him in the country. Now she raises sheep and is the author of three romance novels. Joyce and the man of her dreams live on a farm in rural Washington State.