Ethical Discipline and the Understanding of the Way Things Are

An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life
by The Dalai Lama, Nicholas Vreeland

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As we further examine our more impulsive emotions and thoughts, we find that on top of disturbing our mental peace, they tend to involve “mental projections.” What does this mean, exactly? Projections bring about the powerful emotional interaction between ourselves and external objects: people or things we desire. For example, when we are attracted to something, we tend to exaggerate its qualities, seeing it as 100 percent good or 100 percent desirable, and we are filled with a longing for that object or person. An exaggerated projection, for example, might lead us to feel that a newer, more up-to-date computer could fulfill all our needs and solve all our problems.

Similarly, if we find something undesirable, we tend to distort its qualities in the other direction. Once we have our heart set on a new computer, the old one that has served us so well for so many years suddenly begins to take on objectionable qualities, acquiring more and more deficiencies. Our interactions with this computer become more and more tainted by these projections. Again, this is as true for people as for material possessions. A troublesome boss or difficult associate is seen as possessing a naturally flawed character. We make similar aesthetic judgments of objects that do not meet our fancy, even if they are perfectly acceptable to others.

As we contemplate the way in which we project our judgments - whether positive or negative - upon people as well as objects and situations, we can begin to appreciate that more reasoned emotions and thoughts are more grounded in reality. This is because a more rational thought process is less likely to be influenced by projections. Such a mental state more closely reflects the way things actually are - the reality of the situation. I therefore believe that cultivating a correct understanding of the way things are is critical to our quest for happiness.

Let us explore how this can be applied to our spiritual practice. As we work at developing ethical discipline, for example, we must first understand the value of engaging in moral conduct. For Buddhists, ethical behavior means avoiding the ten nonvirtuous actions. There are three kinds of nonvirtuous actions: acts done by the body, actions expressed by speech, and nonvirtuous thoughts of the mind. We refrain from the three nonvirtuous actions of body: killing, stealing, and sexual misconduct; the four nonvirtuous actions of speech: lying and divisive, offensive, and senseless speech; and the three nonvirtuous actions of mind: covetousness, malice, and wrong views.

We can appreciate that developing such restraint is only possible once we have recognized the consequences of these actions. For example, what is wrong with senseless speech? What are the consequences of indulging in it? We must first reflect upon the way idle gossip leads us to speak badly of others, wastes a lot of time, and leaves us unfulfilled. We then consider the attitude we have toward people who gossip, how we don't really trust them and would not feel confident asking their advice or confiding in them. Perhaps you can think of other aspects of senseless speech that are unpleasant. Such reflection helps us restrain ourselves when we are tempted to gossip. It is these seemingly elementary meditation practices that are, I believe, the most effective way of bringing about the fundamental changes necessary in our quest for happiness.

Copyright © 2001 by His Holiness The Dalai Lama

About the Author

Recognized at the age of two as the reincarnation of the Thirteenth Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso was brought to Lhasa, the capital of Tibet, and enthroned two years later as the fourteenth Dalai Lama. Awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, His Holiness is today universally acknowledged as one of the world's preeminent spiritual leaders.

Nicholas Vreeland, grandson of fashion guru Diana Vreeland, is a Tibetan Buddhist monk and the director of The Tibet Center, New York's oldest Tibetan Buddhist Center.