My Unusual Introduction to Astrology, Part 3

Planets and Possibilities: Explore the World of the Zodiac Beyond Just Your Sign
by Susan Miller

(Page 3 of 3)

My true calling, however, had not yet formed. When my two daughters were still babies, I started my own business as an agent for commercial photographers but continued to write two astrological columns on the side. I became very successful as an agent, representing talent in London and the United States. I was happy with life, though the bones in my left foot were clearly wearing down (the severed nerve had left that leg a little weaker). Just walking a few blocks would give me teeth-grinding pain. Still, I was determined to persevere no matter what. In 1992 another bout with the leg scared me-on a total eclipse, out of the blue, I broke my left thighbone for the third time. This last bout was the worst. I received seventeen blood transfusions in one night during an emergency operation. It was a defining moment, for I was to be reminded again how fragile life can be. My original doctor saved me-but both of us agreed that I could not endure more surgery. I now had steel lining my femur and was able to walk again after I recovered.

A few years later, in connection with my work as a photo agent, I was calling on Warner Books and offering to do an occasional chart if someone asked me to do one. My reputation for accuracy was growing. My mother's insistence on my doing research in astrology for twelve years before I was to read a single chart outside the family was starting to pay off in peer respect. Not surprisingly, I was getting my readings right. I turned to writing more and more, and the magazine work kept growing bigger. Warner Books gave me a chance to be editor of my own astrology Web site in December of 1995, and thus Astrology Zone® was born. My first book, Astrology Book of Days, appeared a few months later. I was wellon my way to a new career.

It turned out that the difficulties with my leg bestowed unanticipated and enormous side blessings. I became religious, reflective, and philosophical. Like most people who go through an ordeal, it also made me very compassionate toward others who suffered.

I am reminded of a little incident that was to forever change the way I viewed difficulties in life. It remains as crystal clear today as the day it happened. One morning when I was nine years old, I was at my grand-mother's house in the country. My father had brought my sister, my mother, and me upstate for the summer. I shared a room with my sister in the attic. Within a day or two of arriving, I suffered one of my mysterious attacks. I knew I would be in bed the rest of the summer.

That morning my mother was changing the sheets with me in the bed, a routine we used to do as I couldn' get up. I couldn' even move from one side of the bed to the other, no more than an inch, because the pain was so intense. After my mother spent about an hour slowly pushing the new sheet under me and the old sheet off the other side, I had cool, smooth, new sheets and pillowcases. My mother was putting another pillowcase on another pillow to prop up my back when I saw through the open window a verdant oak tree with a bluebird on a branch. The sunshine was bright, and the air was warm. Suddenly overwhelmed by the prospect of spending the whole summer in the attic in bed, I blurted out to my mother: “Oh, this old leg. I wish I didn' have this old problem. I wish somebody else had it!” I guess it was typical of what a nine-year-old would say, but it was kind of unusual for me actually to voice such a thought. My mother spun around with the pillow in her hand and looked a bit surprised. “What did you say? Did I hear you say that?” I repeated my lament. She came over to the side of the bed and said very gently, “There is a reason for everything. What if you knew you were absorbing some of the ills of the world with your pain? How would you feel about it then? What if there were worldly reasons for your pain that transcended you? You should never say you wish you didn' have it-it is your cross to bear but you must do so gladly. God chose you for this difficulty. We know nothing about life or of God's will, Susan. We must not suppose we know all about the universe. Reasons may be revealed in time.” Her words struck a deep chord in me; I was stunned into silence. But her words taught me about the concept of pain having a noble value. This was an idea I had not considered, but she inspired me to think outside myself. I wanted to find out my life's role and determine whether I had a mission to fulfill.

My mother's words echoed in my heart for years as I continued to have many bad bouts with my health. It is only now that I have an inkling of what she may have meant. She told me that it is through compassion that one's pain can absorb others' pain, but at nine I was too young to understand that empathy is one of the world's most human and valuable gifts. This is something I see with greater clarity and depth as I get older. Life has many twists and turns, and often we have no idea why we are going through a particular phase until years later.

My mother's deeply philosophical nature and steadfast optimism in the face of all odds was to have a profound influence on my view of the world and, I think, on my readings and predictions, too. She taught me to see the value in challenge, and for that I will always be grateful. My dear father was also highly encouraging. He sparked my determination to explore all aspects of life. He also helped me to realize that material objects are ephemeral and hold no candle to spiritual values. Both parents helped me not only to become a happier person but also to look beyond the surface, to look deeply into events and conditions to try to find clues as to why there is suffering. My hard start in life and many subsequent challenges shaped me as a person and as an astrologer. I realized that “bad” aspects weren' necessarily all bad-they had value too. As my mother would say, “We learn nothing from times of ease, Susan. It is in times of difficulty that we come face to face with who we are and what we want to be. We will always have the opportunity to build our character to its full potential-it is never too late to begin.”

Copyright © 2001 by Susan Miller

About the Author

Susan Miller is an accredited astrologer who is also a writer and lecturer. Susan is a frequent lecturer and guest personality on many network television and radio programs. She is a regular, monthly contributor to Self and McCall's magazines and has just joined the staff of the new Time Warner high-tech publication, E-Company Now as a monthly. columnist. Susan belongs to American Federation of Astrologers, National Council for Geo-Cosmic Research, International Society for Astrological Research and the American Federation of Astrologers.