My Unusual Introduction to Astrology

Planets and Possibilities: Explore the World of the Zodiac Beyond Just Your Sign
by Susan Miller

When I was little and couldn't sleep, late at night I would creep into the living room to see if anyone was up. Invariably, I would find my mother curled up on the couch reading her astrology books or studying her charts. In those wee hours of the morning my father would be asleep, but Mom, as the busy mother of two young children, would try to use the only time she had to concentrate on her serious hobby. Astrology was not her only interest. She (along with my father) devoured three newspapers a day, had friends, and also helped my father in his specialty grocery store. But astrology deeply intrigued Mom, and she studied it every chance she got. Her penetrating mind sought to figure out why astrology always seemed to work, and her study also offered her creative clues to life's mysteries. My mother's biggest challenge, however, both in life and in astrology, would be to figure out how to help me with a debilitating and mysterious birth defect in my left leg.

She asked me not to tell anyone about her interest in and knowledge of astrology, saying it should be for “just us” and never for those outside our family. Times were different then, and she did not want to invite criticism about her hobby from either new acquaintances or old friends. Still, she said, “It's always good that I know the cycles, Susan-I can help you go with the cosmic tide, not try to swim against it.”

I remember having lunch with Mom when I was little at the dining-room table. She would always sit down next to me, wearing her apron, and cheerfully keep me company. A Gemini, she'd make lots of interesting conversation. It was fun to be with Mom. I would eat my tunafish sandwiches, and sometimes she would talk about astrology. She said I would look at her with big eyes and swing my legs while I chewed. Today she laughs and says, “I used to talk to you but you never said much, dear Susie, so I thought you weren' listening. Now I know that you heard every word!”

My mother discovered astrology by accident. Her elder sister (my wonderful aunt) Harriet, the eldest of five, suddenly became interested in the subject and, wanting to have someone with whom she could talk about it, tried to get my mother involved. My mother was initially skeptical about astrology and resisted my aunt's suggestions. I think that is a very common and healthy first reaction by everyone who comes to study astrology. I don' think anybody is a born “believer.” Later, Mom, as a young girl of eighteen, moved to New York City and Aunt Harriet remained upstate, but they both took a home correspondence course in astrology. It was something the two sisters could still do together even though they lived apart. Mom continued to study over the next two or three years and become better and better at her hobby and more drawn to investigating the full spectrum of what the ancient art could offer. Its complexities fascinated her, and its richness never bored her active mind. My mother wrote letters to my aunt to debate certain shadings of current planetary aspects.

When my mother was thirty-five years old, Aunt Harriet suddenly became very ill with ovarian cancer and died a very slow and painful death at the age of forty-five. (At the time, I was five years old.) This was a terrible and devastating event in my mother's life. At the reading of the will, my mother learned that Aunt Harriet had left all her favorite astrology books to her as a special gift. When my mother received them, she found inside one of the covers a letter from my aunt, apparently written when she was aware that she did not have long to live: “Erika, study astrology-you will go far, much further than I was meant to go with this subject. You are innately mathematical and you deal with symbolism superbly. Don' give it up.” Hence my mother found herself the new owner of some of the best books on the subject. From that point on, my mother dove even more deeply into astrology, probably as much out of curiosity as well as to remain psychologically close to her sister.

My involvement with astrology would also start almost by accident and certainly was fueled by my birth defect. I was born with a debilitating and mysterious illness that caused excruciating pain in my left leg; I had sudden, inexplicable attacks that felt like thick syrup was falling into my knee. The attacks would come about twice a year and would leave me bedridden for six to eight weeks. Doctors were mystified, and in the absence of any hard data they said I had made up the illness to stay out of school. The doctors who did believe me suggested all kinds of cures, including radiation treatments which we rejected. The leg was so terribly tender and painful to the touch that I didn' want to risk having anything done to it, and even as a child I begged my mother simply to “let me be.” After any one of my sudden “attacks,” as long as I remained perfectly still (not moving an inch in bed for weeks), I always recovered perfectly.

I felt unjustly accused when the doctors called my illness psychosomatic, and after a time I didn' want to see any more doctors. A mother's intuition is strong-Mom knew something was very wrong with me, so she became my protector, comforting me with the assurance that someday someone would figure out what was wrong and help me. She even predicted a change of status in my health when the ruler of my ascendant, Mercury, would go direct in my progressed chart when I turned age fourteen. She surmised that I would simply outgrow the illness, so she wasn' too anxious to hurry me into an unnecessary operation. It was clear that she was confident that my ordeal was going to have a happy ending. My father was supportive too, but they nevertheless agreed that we had to continue to see new doctors no matter what the charts said.

As things turned out, Mom was astoundingly right about the timing of my health breakthrough. When I was exactly thirteen years, ten months, three weeks, and two days old, I had the worst attack of my life. Bedridden again, I patiently waited two months for a recovery that never came. Something was different about this attack. The pain was much worse and the swelling greater. Still, I did not want an operation. We tried one doctor, who put me in traction and made everything worse. My father, horrified by the pain I was in, carried me out of the hospital, saying quietly that we needed a new doctor. Exasperated, I begged to celebrate my birthday at home, and I blew out the candles on the cake in bed.

Copyright © 2001 by Susan Miller

About the Author

Susan Miller is an accredited astrologer who is also a writer and lecturer. Susan is a frequent lecturer and guest personality on many network television and radio programs. She is a regular, monthly contributor to Self and McCall's magazines and has just joined the staff of the new Time Warner high-tech publication, E-Company Now as a monthly. columnist. Susan belongs to American Federation of Astrologers, National Council for Geo-Cosmic Research, International Society for Astrological Research and the American Federation of Astrologers.