Love Your Neighbor As You Love Yourself

How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny
by Joyce Meyer

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For the whole Law [concerning human relationships] is complied with in the one precept, You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself.
Galatians 5:14

While I was seeking answers to my problems, the Holy Spirit opened up to me Galatians 5:14 in a way I had never seen or heard before. I was experiencing marriage problems. My husband and I were not getting along - it seemed we couldn't agree on anything, we had strife almost continually. It was affecting our children in an adverse way. All the anxiety and turmoil were affecting my health. I had to have some answers!

THE ANSWER IS LOVE

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear…
1 John 4:18 KJV

When the Holy Spirit revealed this Scripture to me, I asked myself, could it be possible? Was I hearing God right - could it be as simple as “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so”? I had a lot of fears in my life, and 1 John 4:18 was telling me that perfect love would cast out fear.

I had tried walking in “perfect love” and had failed daily. I thought “perfect love” referred to my loving others perfectly. I was now beginning to see that perfect love was Gods love for me - He is the only One Who can love perfectly

Gods love is perfect even when we are not!

LOVED TO LOVE OTHERS

May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep zn love and founded securely on love, That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God's devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it].
Ephesians 3:17,18

As I meditated on these Scriptures and others like them, I felt like a blind person who was seeing for the first time. My problem was a lack of love. I had never received proper love in my life; therefore, I had never learned to properly love myself. I didn't even like myself, let alone love myself.

If nobody else loves us, we don't see why we should love ourselves. If others don't love us, we think we must not be worth loving.

We should love ourselves - not in a selfish, self-centered way that produces a lifestyle of self-indulgence, but in a balanced, godly way, a way that simply affirms God's creation as essentially good and right. We may be flawed by the years and the unfortunate experiences we have undergone, but that does not mean we are worthless and good for nothing but the trash can.

We must have the kind of love that says, “I can love what God can love. I don't love everything I do, but I accept myself, because God accepts me.” We must develop the kind of mature love that says, “I know I need to change, and I want to change. In fact, I believe God is changing me daily, but in the meanwhile I will not reject what God accepts. I will accept myself as I am right now, knowing that I will not always remain this way.”

Our faith gives us hope for the future. As He did with the Israelites, God will help us conquer our enemies (our “hangups”) little by little. (Deuteronomy 7:22.) He will change us from glory to glory as we continue to look into His Word. (2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV.) He is the Author and Finisher of our faith. (Hebrews 12:2 KJV.) He has begun a good work in us, and He will complete it and bring it to its final fulfillment. (Philippians 1:6.)

Once we receive God's love and begin to love and accept ourselves, it greatly improves our relationship with Him. Until we accept His love, the cycle is incomplete. We can love Him only because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19.)

We all know how frustrating it is to attempt to give a gift to someone who keeps refusing to take it. I love to surprise people and give them something they want or need. I have had the experience of planning a surprise, going shopping, spending my money, getting everything ready, and yet when I gave my gift, the person was so insecure they did not know how to simply receive my gift graciously.

Insecurity and feelings of unworthiness keep us from being able to receive very well. We may feel that we must earn or deserve everything we get. We may think, “Why would someone want to just give me something?” We may become suspicious: “What is their motive? What do they want from me? What are they after?”

There are times when I try to give something to someone and have to spend so much time and energy convincing them I really do want them to have it, that the situation becomes downright embarrassing. I just want them to take it! I want them to show their appreciation for my gift by graciously receiving it and enjoying it.

If we as humans feel that way, how much more does God feel that way when He tries to give us His love, grace and mercy, and we refuse it because of a false sense of humility or unworthiness? When God reaches out to love us, He is attempting to start a cycle that will bless not only us but also many others.

Gods plan is this: He wants us to receive His love, love ourselves in a balanced and godly way, generously love Him in return, and finally love all the people who come into our lives.

We have failed to follow that plan for years. We are not even loving others with our own love, much less with Gods love. Remember, we did not have any love with which to love anyone until God first loved us!

Copyright © 1999 by Joyce Meyer

About the Author

JOYCE MEYER has been teaching the Word of God since 1976 and in full-time ministry since 1980. She is the bestselling author of more than fifty inspirational books, including How to Hear from God, Knowing God Intimately, and Battlefield of the Mind. She has also released thousands of teaching cassettes and a complete video library. Joyce's Enjoying Everyday Life radio and television programs are broadcast around the world, and she travels extensively conducting conferences.