EXERCISES: Healing Childhood Dreams

The Mother-to-Be's Dream Book : Understanding the Dreams of Pregnancy
by Raïna M. Paris

(Page 3 of 3)

The following exercises are meant to assist the mother-to-be in becoming more aware of what childhood feelings or old relationships are coming to the surface through her dreams. They are based on the first trimester and show the woman how to integrate these nightly experiences into the present landscape of her pregnancy.

Before Going to Sleep

Turn off the lights. Lie comfortably on a flat surface, with all limbs untangled, in an open and receptive posture. Close your eyes. Breathe once or twice deeply. Let go of tension. Pay particular attention to your neck and shoulders, to your jaw, and to your stomach; these are all areas where anxiety and worry can build up, often undetected. Feel your worried mental chatter fade away as if someone was turning down the volume of a radio until it is completely inaudible. Be aware of your beating heart pumping blood, not only for yourself, but also for the other life being created at this very moment in your womb. You are in the process of creation right now. You are the embodiment of life itself. Allow the womb of life to hold you as your own womb holds your baby, safely. Be aware that everything that has ever happened in your life has led you to this moment here and now. Be in the present and know that all of your life is contained in this moment. All of your life experience is available to you right now. All of the wisdom of your ancestors is available to you right now. Feel their support.

In this receptive stillness, ask your unconscious to reveal to you the places in yourself where love is lacking, where there is an emotional knot that needs to be untied so that life can flow, where space needs to be made for the new life that is emerging. Trust that your dreams will lead you safely where you need to go, and let sleep nourish both your body and your soul so that you, in turn, may nourish the life of your unborn child.

After You Wake Up

Take your time transitioning from sleep to being awake. Let the images from your dreams drift into your consciousness unimpeded by the concerns of your daytime responsibilities. Be still with your thoughts. Let the dreams surface to the forefront of your conscious mind. If you are confronted with a dream from the past, let the landscape and the characters tell you what they mean. Ask them and yourself these questions:

• What are you doing in my dream? What are you trying to show me or tell me?

• Do I need to tell these characters how they make me feel? Was something left unsaid or undone?

• What do I need from the characters in the dream, if anything?

• How do I feel in the dream? Did something happen that bothered me?

• If I could, would I change the ending or even the whole story?

• How? What would I say or do? What would the other characters say or do?

Give yourself time to hear the answers and allow yourself to be surprised. Write them down if you think you will forget them. Then proceed to the next step: reliving the dream but changing the ending or outcome so that the resolution is more harmonious and creates peace of mind. You can even change the reactions of the characters involved. Create your ideal scenario. You are the producer, director, and screenwriter, not to mention the actor of every part. I recommend doing the exercise twice. Often new elements appear at the second go-around that were overlooked the first time.

Begin by re-creating and reliving the dream as completely as possible, remembering the feelings that went along with it. Once you feel that you are fully entrenched in the world of the dream, start to guide the dream into new directions that feel more satisfying, more healing. Bestow a different tone to the landscape. Select new reactions and new words for the characters. Make yourself the heroine of your dream. Give yourself what you need to feel successful or safe or simply more whole by the end of the dream.

The dream is offering you something to look at in your own psyche, a challenge if you will. “This is the stuff you carry in your body and in your mind. What should you do with it? Do you want to keep it, dump it, integrate it?”

When you actively engage your dream in this way and bring it to a satisfying conclusion, you have answered the call to bring your consciousness up to date. You are participating in your own healing and providing a safer psychic space for your child to grow in. You could call it “spring cleaning for the psyche” or “clearing the cobwebs from the past.” It certainly gives a hint or even a push to your unconscious mind to keep clearing the old and making room for the new.

You can apply this procedure to dreams concerning childhood issues as well as ones involving old love and relationships. What you want to keep in mind in dreams involving past relationships is that the people you were intimate with played a role in your evolution as a human being. You were with them for a very good reason: to learn something, to let go of something, etc. Sometimes such dreams of the past are about unfinished business, in which case the above exercise will be extremely useful, so that you may give your story with that person a satisfying ending.

The other thing to keep in mind is that the love you felt for those people is real, and that love is never lost, even if the person is out of your life forever. In fact, all we are ever learning to do is love well. When you accept that the love is yours to keep, not only do you expand your capacity to love, but you also free up the love that was stored in your mind, in the knots of your body, and make it available to yourself and others who are ready to receive it now. Love is love. It is the other feelings we surround love with that need to be let go of, to be healed.

Copyright © 2000 by Raïna Paris

About the Author

Raïna M. Paris is a published poet, spiritual counselor and licensed practitioner with Agape Church. She lives in Los Angeles, CA.