E-Mail Communication and Relationships, Part 2

by John Suler, Ph.D.

(Page 33 of 53)

Anatomy of an E-mail Message: Facets and Structure

An e-mail message can be dissected into seven components: (1) the sender's name as indicated in your inbox, (2) the subject line, as indicated in your inbox, (3) the greeting that introduces the body of the message, (4) the body of message, including quoted text, (5) the sign-off line and name, and, (6) the signature block. The body of the message is what most people consider the actual “message” itself. Surely, it is the most lengthy, complex, and changing aspect of the exchange between e-mail partners. However, the other components of the message also can be tiny gems of communication. Much meaning can be packed into those little nuggets. How those deceptively simple components of the message change over time may signal important changes in the relationship.

1. The Sender's Name

Most people set their e-mail username in their e-mail program and leave it that way. It reflects the ongoing identity that one wishes to present online. The name chosen usually is one's real name, a pseudonym, or a combined name (e.g., Bill and Martha Smith). Using one's real name indicates a wish to simply be oneself. It's a straightforward, “honest” presentation. Pseudonyms are more mysterious, playful approaches: “Can you guess who I am?” They may express some non-obvious or underlying aspect of the person's identity and self-concept. They may reveal unconscious motivating fantasies and wishes (or fears) about one's identity. A combined name is a “letting it be known” that you have a partner - that the two of you are sharing the e-mail program and may both be reading all the mail (which may significantly affect how others respond). When people change the username setting in their e-mail program, it reflects a significant change in how they wish to present their ongoing, online identity. Moving from a pseudonym to one's real name expresses the wish to drop the “mask” (albeit a meaningful mask). Changing the combined name to a single name is a move towards separation and individuation that invites more private, one-on-one dialogue.

2. The Subject Line

The subject line is a tiny microcosm unto itself. Often people use it to just summarize or introduce the major idea/s contained in the body of the message. But experienced e-mail users understand the more subtle techniques for communicating meaning and emotion in the titles they bestow to their e-mail. The subject line can lead into, highlight, or elaborate a particular idea in the message. It can ask a definitive question, shoot back a definitive answer, joke, tease, prod, berate, shout, whisper, or emote. Sometimes its meaning may blatantly or discreetly contradict the sentiment expressed in the body of the message. A creative application of caps, commas, slashes, parentheses, and other keyboard characters adds emphasis and complexity to the thoughts and emotions expressed in the subject line. Here are some examples illustrating these ideas:

HELLO SAM!
and now for something completely different
What should I do?
the solution is....
loved it!
Jim! help, Help, HELP!!
offensive
ACCK!!!
I'm so impressed (yawn)
Have To Do This
**PASSWORD CHANGE**
(sic)
Things afoot...
Even more/sorry
thanks for your compliment and support, really!
please read
????
guitar, our visit, money
OK folks, settle down
It's been fun, boys & girls ;-)
apology
&**%$#))(*@#%%$
HUGZZZ
Bob / battles / techniques / bullshit
sigh...

In an e-mail archive, examining the list of subject lines across the development of the relationship is like perusing the headlines of a newspaper over the course of months or years. It reflects the flow of important themes in the history of the e-mail encounter. These patterns and trends over time might reveal hidden or unconscious elements in relationship between the two people. For example, one interesting feature is the use of “re:” as a prefix to the subject line. For how many messages did the couple continue to click on “reply” and reuse the same subject? This might indicate the emotional intensity of that particular thread.

The use of “re:” versus creating a new subject line can be an interesting dynamic interchange between e-mail partners. Creating a new line is a bit like taking the lead in the relationship by introducing a new title for the interaction - like creating a headline for the story that is the ongoing dialogue. It's an attempt to conceptualize, summarize, and highlight what the person perceives as the most important feature of the conversation. Creating a new subject line calls into play the “observing ego” - that ability to step back and reflect on what is happening. It shows a sense of responsibility and ownership for the dialogue - in some cases maybe even an attempt to control the dialogue. In this fashion, some e-mail partners duel with each other via the subject line. Simply clicking on reply without creating a new message title may indicate less of an observing ego and more of a spontaneous reaction. It suggests a “I want to reply to what you said” mode of operation. Some people chronically fail to create a new subject line and persistently use “re:” They may be a bit passive in the relationship, or lazy. They may not feel that sense of responsibility, ownership, or control. If this isn't true, their partner may nevertheless perceive them as being that way.

Spammers will try to exploit the subject line in order to trick you into opening the message. Beware of subject headings written all in caps, embellished with asterisks and exclamation points, or containing overly friendly or seductive messages (“Just wanted to say hello...”) - especially when you don't recognize the sender's name. If it looks and smells like spam, it's spam.

3. The Greeting

Similar to writing letters or meeting someone on the street, the conversation usually begins with a greeting of some sort. Different greetings convey slightly different emotional tones and levels of intimacy. It sets the mood for the rest of the message, and sometimes may contradict the tone of the message. Over the course of a batch of messages, the back-and-forth changes in the greeting can become a revealing little dance - sometimes playful, sometimes competitive. Who is being more polite, friendly, intimate, enthusiastic, emotional? Adding the person's name to the greeting - “Hi Pat,” rather than simply “Hi” - always indicates a deeper level of intimacy - or, at the very least, the fact that you made the small extra effort to personalize the message.

Here is a sample of some greetings:

Dear Pat - A somewhat formal opening, highly reminiscent of letter writing. In fact, newbie e-mail users often fall back on this familiar way to start off a correspondence. I've rarely seen experienced users begin with “Dear” - except, perhaps, when approaching a stranger for whom respectful formality might be appropriate. In most cases, it's a bit too polite for the casual atmosphere that many associate with the Internet. Because “Dear” is associated with snail mail - an inferior mode of communicating, in the eyes of avid users - some people may frown upon it's use. They might view the sender as being naive about the social dynamics of e-mail.

Hello Pat - A more causal, friendly greeting, with a hint of politeness and respect. A very handy, all-purpose opener.

Hi Pat - A slightly more casual, friendlier greeting than “Hello.” It's probably not appropriate for the first e-mail exchange with a stranger, unless you immediately want to set the tone of “friendliness among peers.”

Hi Pat! / Hello Pat!! - A more enthusiastic salutation, almost like hugging or slapping the person on the back. There also can be an element of surprise or delight in the exclamation point - as if you just called the person on the phone and can hear in their “Hi!” how they happily recognize that it's you! The more exclamation points, the more enthusiasm - although a long row of exclamation points might be perceived as phony or contrived overkill.

Pat!!! - This one conveys an even higher level of enthusiasm, surprise, or delight - so much so that only and simply the companion's name gushes forth from one's consciousness.

Pat, - A very matter-of-fact, “let's get to the point” opening. Sometimes there's an almost ominous tone to this greeting, as if the sender is trying to get your attention in preparation for some unpleasant discussion.

Hey there! - A very informal greeting, usually reserved for friends. Although the recipient's name is omitted, it's assumed that the sender knows it's you.

Hey Dude! / Yo! - Another very informal hello reserved for friends, usually (but not always) between males. It conveys a feeling of camaraderie.

Greetings! - A sure sign that spam is coming at you, or perhaps a message from a colleague or friend who is trying to be a bit humorous by offering a deceptively “formal” hello.

Hi, / Hello, - Whereas the Hi is a bit more casual than the Hello, both of these greetings lack the intimate touch of including the recipients name. They come across as a bit flat or impersonal. Spammers and other people who are basically indifferent to who you are will top off the message with this lackluster intro.

No greeting at all is an interesting phenomenon that cuts both ways. In some cases, it may reveal that the sender is lazy, passive, or how he/she lacks any personal connection to you (as well as any desire for a personal connection). In some messages I've received of this type, I felt almost as if the sender perceived me as a computer program ready to respond their needs - with no identity or needs of my own.

On the other hand, no greeting may indicate the exact opposite scenario. The sender indeed feels connected to you - so much so that a greeting isn't required. She assumes you know that it's you who's on her mind. Or he never felt like he left the conversation and the psychological space he inhabits with you: so why inject a greeting into the message? In an ongoing, back-and-forth dialogue, there may be no greetings at all throughout a string of exchanged e-mails. In the face-to-face world, you don't say “hello” in the midst of an energetic discussion. In cyberspace, the same principle holds. Although each e-mail message looks like a letter that traditionally starts off with a greeting, it actually isn't. In many cases it is a segment of an ongoing conversation.

4. The Body of the Message

The body of the message is the most complex component of the e-mail. Messages can vary widely in length, organization, flow of ideas, the use of quoted text, spelling errors, grammar sophistication, the use of caps, tabs, smileys and other unique keyboard characters, the spacing of paragraphs, and the overall visual “feel” of the message.

The structure of the e-mail body reflects the cognitive and personality style of the individual who creates it. People who are compulsive may strive for well organized and logically constructed messages with few, if any, spelling or grammatical errors (they will take advantage of their spell-check programs). Those with a histrionic flair may offer a more dramatic presentation, where neatness plays a back seat to the expressive use of spacing, caps, unique keyboard characters, and colorful language. People with schizoid tendencies may be pithy, while those who are more impulsive may dash off a disorganized, spelling-challenged message with emotional phrases highlighted in shouted caps.

E-mail Empathy - Does the sender pay attention to and anticipate the needs of the recipient? Empathic people will specifically respond to what their e-mail partners have said. They ask their partners questions about themselves and their lives. But they also construct their messages anticipating what it will be like for the recipient to read it. They write in a style that is both engaging and readily understood. With appropriate use of spacing, paragraph breaks, and various keyboard characters (....////****) to serve as highlights and dividers, they visually construct the message so that it is easy and pleasing to read. They estimate just how long is too long. Essentially, they are good writers who pay attention to the needs of their audience. This is quite unlike people with narcissistic tendencies, who have difficulty putting themselves into the shoes of the recipient. They may produce lengthy blocks of unbroken text, expecting that their partner will sustain an interest in scrolling, reading, scrolling, reading, for seemingly endless screens of long-winded descriptions of what the sender thinks and feels. Paradoxically, the narcissistic person's need to be heard and admired may result in the recipient hitting the delete key out of frustration or boredom.

Planning versus Spontaneity - A carefully, empathically constructed e-mail sometimes lacks spontaneity. It is possible to over-think and micro-manage the message to the point where it sounds a bit contrived. Perhaps the most effective message is one that strikes a balance between spontaneity and carefully planned organization. Also, short messages with some obvious spelling errors, glitches, or a slightly chaotic visual appearance can be a sincere expression of affection and friendship - as if the person is willing to let you see how they look hanging around the house, wearing an old t-shirt and jeans. Or such a message can be a genuine expression of the person's state of mind at that moment. “I'm in a hurry, but I wanted to dash this off to you!” In the course of an ongoing e-mail relationship, there will be a engaging rhythm of spontaneous and carefully thought out messages that parallels the ebb and flow of the relationship itself.

Creative Keyboarding - Humans are curious creatures. When faced with barriers, they find all sorts of creative ways to work around them - especially when those barriers involve communication. Experienced e-mailers have developed a variety of keyboard techniques to overcome some of the limitations of typed text - techniques that lend a vocal and kinesthetic quality to the message. They attempt to make e-mail conversations less like postal letters and more like a face-to-face encounter. Some of these strategies come from the world of Internet chat rooms.

Thank you so much! (happy, happy, happy)
[feeling insecure here]
I completely forgot! (slapping myself on the forehead)
Hi (yawn) everyone.
I know exactly what I'm talking about (scratching forehead)
(thinking this over...)
[g]

Thoughts and feelings placed in parentheses or brackets are a kind of subvocal muttering to oneself - as if one is thinking outloud, tipping one's hand, allowing the other to peek inside one's head. There's an honest or even vulnerable quality to this parenthetical expression because you're letting the other person in on something that otherwise could be kept hidden. Actions placed in parentheses indicate body language - an attempt to convey some of the face-to-face cues that are missing in typed text encounters. Options range from a simple standard grin [g] to more complex, personally tailored descriptions. Of course, people have much more conscious control over these parenthetical actions than they do over body language in the in-person world. Sometimes it's an intentional effort to convey some subtle mood or state of mind. In a way, one almost implicitly is saying, “Hey, if there is something hidden or unconscious going on inside me, this is what it probably is!”

I'd love to hear about *your* opinion
I urge you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep everything you have!
I will **NOT** do it!!!
On the other hand, if it _IS_ true, then we have to do something.
*big smoochies*
[[[HUGS]]]

Voice accentuation can be accomplished using caps, asterisks, underlining, and other keyboard characters. Exclamation points add to the effect. It's an attempt to mimic the changes in voice emphasis that you might hear in hte face-to-face world as well as the emotions that accompany that emphasis. Accentuating a single word in a sentence sometimes can drastically alter the meaning and impact of that sentence. Rather than highlighting voice, those last two examples above illustrate an action accentuation. Like parenthetical actions, it expresses body language - but body language that is always completely intentional and obvious.

Speaking of which....
Thanks.... and.... happy birthday to you.....happy birthday to yooooouuuuu!!
That's for sure..... On the other hand, I may be wrong.
I would say that......um..... uh....

A series of dots - “trailers” - can be used creatively in a variety of ways. Usually they mimic a pause in one's speaking. That pause might be used dramatically, to lead the person into or psychologically prepare them for your next idea - sometimes even a “you might want to sit down for this” warning. Or the trailer indicates a pause to breathe (as in singing), a transition in your thinking, or a temporary lapse or faltering in your train of thought. The addition of the “um” and “uh” in that last example helps simulate the sense of hesitation and confusion in that faltering thought process. It mimics in-person speech patterns.

That's wonderful! :-)
I disagree with you Bill :-)
Take this job and shove it :-)
I have complete faith in you :-)
My, aren't we defensive :-)
I really am a serial yakker :-)
I myself have been guilty of this. :-)
Thanks for listening to my rant. :-)
I have warned you not to stray over that fine line :-)

Gotta go :-(
This is really upsetting :-(

Know what I mean? ;-)
We'll show him a thing or two. ;-)
Just throwing in my 2 cents ;-)
He has SUCH a magnetic personality ;-)
Forget PC's, there is WebTv now ;-)

As the term “emoticons” suggests, these keyboard faces are tagged onto the end of a sentence to enhance emotional expression. Including the smiley, the frown, and the winky (among others), they may amplify the feeling expressed in the sentence, add a subtle affective spin to the sentence, or even contradict its sentiment. The smiley often is used to clarify a friendly feeling when otherwise the tone of your sentence might be ambiguous. It also can reflect benign assertiveness, an attempt to undo hostility, subtle denial or sarcasm, self-consciousness, and apologetic anxiety. The winky is like elbowing your e-mail partner, implying that you both know something that doesn't need to be said outloud. It's also a good way to express sarcasm.

lol
LOL
LOL!!!!
ROFL!!!!
LMAO!!!

The ubiquitous LOL (laughing out loud) - which originated in chat rooms - is very handy tool for responding to something funny without having to actually say “Oh, that's funny!” It's feels more natural and spontaneous - more like the way you would respond in a face-to-face situation. The sequence of acronyms listed above indicate increasing levels of mirth - beginning with the weak, perhaps even perfunctory “lol” and moving toward the unrestrained “rolling on floor laughing” and raucous “laughing my ass off.” Once again, exclamation points enhance the effect.

Hello Sam. Thank you for the message you sent. I enjoyed it. I didn't know that you felt that way. Let's talk more about it.

Hello Sam! Thank you for the message you sent. I enjoyed it!! I didn't know that you felt that way. Let's talk more about it!

Hello Sam!! Thank you for the message you sent!! I enjoyed it!!! I didn't know that you felt that way!!! Let's talk more about it!!!

How and when to use exclamation points is a bit of an art form. Unless the sentiment of the sentence is clearly negative, they tend to lighten up the mood. But like spice in cooking, there are dangers of excess as well as omissions. Leaving out exclamation points entirely - as in the first example above - may result in a message that appears emotionally bland, ambiguous, maybe overly serious. Without even a hint of enthusiasm, some people might wonder if the sender is suppressing some hostility. On the other extreme, too many exclamation points - as in the third example above - may result in a message mood that seems contrived, shallow, or even uncomfortably manic. A message peppered lightly with exclamations, at just the right spots, can give the message a varying texture of energy that emphasizes what needs to be emphasized. Of the three examples above, the second best illustrates this.

Quoted Text - An advantage of e-mail conversations over face-to-face ones is that you have the ability to quote parts or all of what your partner said in his previous message. Hitting “reply” - which, in many e-mail programs, places arrow marks > or vertical lines next to the whole quoted message - and then tacking your response to the top or bottom of the e-mail is a quick and easy rejoinder. In some cases it's a very appropriate strategy, especially when your partner's message was short, which makes it obvious what you are replying to. However, inserting a reply at the top or bottom of an entire quoted message which is LONG may be perceived by your partner as laziness or indifference on your part - as if you simply hit the reply button, typed your response, and clicked on “send.” The person may not be sure exactly what part of the message you are responding to. You also force your partner to download an unnecessarily long file. Sticking a reply at the end of the lengthy quoted message can be particularly annoying because it forces the person to scroll and scroll and scroll, looking for the reply.

All in all, quoting the entirety of a hefty message may not come across as a considerate and personal response. The impersonal, business-like, or “for the record” tone may be exacerbated by those e-mail programs that automatically preface a block of quoted text with a standardized notice like, “On Saturday, May 28, Joe Smith said:” While this automated notation may work fine in formal, business-like relationships, or on e-mail lists where multiple conversations are taking place, it may leave a bad taste in the mouth of an e-mail friend or acquaintance.

The alternative to quoting the whole message is to select out and respond individually to segments of it. Some e-mail programs allow you to place vertical lines or arrow marks next to each line of quoted text, or the sender may place arrows at the beginning and end of the quoted segment (>>often like this<<). Some people use [snip] to indicate that what follows is quoted text.

It takes more time and effort to quote segments rather than the whole message, but there are several advantages. People may appreciate the fact that you put that time and effort into your response. It makes your message clearer, more to the point, easier to read. It may convey to your partner a kind of empathic attentiveness because you are responding to specific things that she said. You are letting the person know exactly what from his message stood out in your mind. Replying to several segments can result in an entertaining and intriguingly rich e-mail in which there are several threads of conversation occurring at the same time, each with a different content and emotional tone. In one multilevel e-mail, you may be joking, explaining, questioning, recalling a past event, and anticipating a future one. For continuity and clarity, several back-and-forth exchanges can be captured by embedding quoted segments. Experienced e-mail users have a variety of keyboard techniques for making a series of embedded quotes easier to read. Here is an example using arrows:

>> I know what you mean. He said the same thing to me.
> What was your reaction?
I didn't know exactly how to react.

>> I know what you mean. He said the same thing to me.
> What was your reaction?
------> I didn't know exactly how to react.

>> I know what you mean. He said the same thing to me.
> What was your reaction?
...... I didn't know exactly how to react.

>> I know what you mean. He said the same thing to me.
> What was your reaction?

I didn't know exactly how to react.

There is a downside to quoting segments. In flame wars, you often see people citing more and more of what the opponent said, using it as ammunition to launch counterattacks. A series of point-by-point retorts becomes a verbal slicing up of the foe, almost as if it reflects an unconscious wish to “tear up” the person by tearing up his message. Often the attacker wants to legitimize his arguments by citing the opponent's exact words, as if the citation stands as concrete, unquestionable evidence. “This is precisely what you said.” However, it's very easy to take sentences out of context, completely misread their emotional tone, or juxtapose several segments extracted from different parts of the other person's e-mail and then draw a false conclusion from that forced composite of ideas. My colleague Michael Fenichel aptly calls this a “cut and paste reality.”

Rich Text - Many e-mail programs enable the person to control font type, size, color, centering, left and right justification, bold and italic styling. These options provide another dimension for creatively formatting the e-mail and expressing oneself. Bold print comes in handy for voice accentuation. Color can highlight mood - for example, conveying anger or jubilation. Different text colors and/or fonts also work effectively for indicating quoted text, especially when two or more people are cited within your message, with a different font and/or color for each person.

However, as in cuisine, overly rich text can make the reader queasy. A heavy mixture of fonts, colors, styling, and indentations becomes confusing, unpalatable. All creative keyboarding techniques require a light, sensitive hand - a delicate balance of expressive and straightforward communication.

Those eager for creative e-mails also need to know that not all e-mail programs or e-mail servers will be kind to their creations. Some programs and servers may not recognize the special formatting. A paragraph innovatively and beautifully formatted by the sender may be riddled with meaningless glitches in the reader's window. Or that part of the message may simply disappear. Essentially, the machines at both ends - and inbetween - speak different languages, resulting in these annoying e-mail translation errors. Before attempting rich text, it is wise to send a sample message to the recipient, to test out what can and can't be read.

5. The Sign-Off Line and Name

Whereas the greeting is the way people say hello and sign in, the sign-off line is the way they exit from their message. As with the greeting, the sign-off is a fingerprint revealing the status of the person's mood and state of mind - sometimes obvious, sometimes subtle. “Here's where I'm at as I say good-bye.” A contrast between the greeting and the sign-off may be significant - as if writing the e-mail altered the person's attitudes and feelings. Across a series of messages, the sign-off lines may be a string of repartees between the partners that amplifies, highlights or adds nuance to their dialogue in the message bodies. The progression of exchanged sign-off lines may itself become an encapsulated, Morse-code dialogue between the partners. “Sincerely,” “Regards” or other similar sign-offs are rather safe, all-purpose tools borrowed from the world of postal mail. They are formal, polite ways to exit. Some avid e-mailer users use them sparingly because they suggest a snail-mail mentality and a lack of appreciation for the creatively conversational quality of e-mail. Here are some examples of sign-off lines that are a bit more revealing of the person's state of mind and his/her relationship to the e-mail partner:

HUGZZ,
take care,
an unusually annoyed,
thanks for listening,
Live long and prosper,
ACK!
peace,
just my 2 cents,
stay cool,
have fun!
still confused,
sheesh....
looking forward to hearing from you,
enough for now,

Almost invariably, the sender's name follows the sign-off line, which demonstrates how intrinsically connected the sign-off line is to the identity of the sender. Simply typing your real name is the easiest, most straightforward tactic. If the e-mail partners both belong to the same online community, they may have to make a conscious choice about whether to use their real names or their online usernames. The online name can be entertaining and revealing, but changing from that imaginary handle to your real name may be a gesture of honestly and intimacy - a kind of “coming out.” Creatively playing with your sign-off name can be an another effective way to express your state of mind, some aspect of your identity, or your relationship to your e-mail partner. Usually this type of play only feels appropriate with friends, or it indicates that one wishes to be friendly, loose, and imaginative. Proclaiming their identification with net culture, people sometimes apply the common cyberspace practice of fusing two capitalized words to create a “neologistic name” for themselves. Here are some examples of playful sign-off names:

Ed!
Kat :-)
Busy Guy
Sam (aka SupraSuds)
Weary2
BirthdayGal
The Frozen Man
BigBro
Cyberhappy
Po'

Leaving out the sign-off line and/or name may be an omission with meaning. It might suggest a curt, efficient, formal, impersonal, or even angry attitude about the conversation. The ending could appear especially bureaucratic or impersonal if the person inserts his signature block and nothing else. On the other hand, friends may leave out a sign-off line and name as a gesture of informality and familiarity. “You know it's me.” They may assume that the conversation is ongoing - as in a face-to-face talk - so there's no need to type anything that suggests a good-bye.

6. The Signature Block

Many e-mail programs offer the option of creating a signature file or “block” that automatically will be placed at the bottom of your message (unless that feature is turned off). People usually place factual or identifying information into that file - such as their full name, title, e-mail address, postal address, institutional affiliation, phone number, etc. It's a prepackaged stamp indicating “who and where I am.” What a person puts into that file reflects what they hold dear to their public identity. Some programs offer the feature of writing alternative signature files, which gives the person the opportunity to create several different fingerprints, each one tailored for a specific purpose. For example, one may be formal and factual, another more casual and playful. Each one is a slightly different slice of the person's identity. Because all signature blocks have a non-spontaneous, prepackaged feeling to them, friends often make a conscious effort to turn it off when writing to a cyberspace pal. In a sense, you are dropping your status and title while also assuming the person knows your e-mail address, phone number, etc. The first message in which the sig block is eliminated probably reflects the sender's move towards feeling more friendly and casual in the relationship. As with the sign-off line and name, a change in a person's sig block reflects a shift in their identity or in how they wish to present their identity.

Ambitious and creative e-mail users sometimes place an ASCII drawing or an abstract pattern into the sig file. It's an attempt to be artistic, which may or may not be successful. When it is, people often are impressed. “How'd she do that!?” It's not easy to create a good looking ASCII drawing. Producing an effective one is a public demonstration of one's artistic and technical skill.

According to traditional net culture, people also place quotes into their sig block. Sometimes the quotes are serious, humorous, intellectual, tongue-in-cheek, famous, or home-spun. Which quote a person chooses - and how they present it - can reveal an important slice of their personality, life style, or philosophy of life. Here are some examples:

I think..... therefore I am confused
Life is what happens when we're busy planning other things - J. Lennon
The respected man is the man that will ALWAYS remember where he came from.........“
- yuujou - doryoku - shouri -
I need to.... get back in the arms of a good friend
Humorous redhead on the loose... be afraid, be VERY afraid! =)
DENIAL is NOT a RIVER in EGYPT
life may be short, but it sure is wide

When the only tool one owns is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. - Abraham Maslow

If I am not for myself,
Who will be for me?
And if I am only for myself,
What am I?
And if not now,
When?”
- Hillel

The way out is via the door. Why is it that no-one will use this method? - Confucius

About the Author

John Suler, Ph.D. is Professor of Psychology at Rider University. This article comes from his online hypertext book The Psychology of Cyberspace which describes his ongoing research on how individuals and groups behave in cyberspace. His work has been reported by national and international media, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, the BBC, and CNN. www.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/