Metrosexual Man: Frequently Asked Questions, End Notes

by Toni Coleman, LCSW

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Frequently Asked Questions

Q. I'm a 30's something single female. I don't know if it's me or if it's the guys I meet. I am attractive but don't date much. When I do, it's often a disappointment as the guy is someone I'm just not interested in or vice versa. Often the dating itself is the problem. I expect men to take the lead and call me for a date. I think they should pick me up and should pay, both because they are the males and because they asked me out. I also have an issue with guys who call at the last minute or expect me to plan the date. I find I encounter a lot of "metrosexual" kind of men- you know, too perfectly put together and way in touch with their feminine side. I grew up out west with real cowboys. They were rough and a little crazy, but I always felt very feminine and special when I was with them. Often I find myself thinking, "where are all the real men"? Is it me, was I born too late?

A. No, it's not YOU. I have heard a lot of women (very softly) verbalize the feelings you have expressed. You are honest with yourself. You have an attraction to a certain kind of guy. There is nothing wrong with this. It is a problem when he is not the kind of guy you meet socially.

It sounds as though you are looking for a more old-fashioned guy with a more conservative view of male/female roles. However, it sounds like the men you date are more in tune with a new culture. You should ask yourself where you could meet the kind of guy you seek? Perhaps an urban environment will have few cowboy types in general.

It is a plus that you know what you want and can say this out loud. I have talked to many women who are not comfortable with the changing roles of men and women, but who try to fit in with the culture, even if they are going against what they believe is right for them. These women are often very dissatisfied with their dating and relationship lives and can become jaded about relationships in general.

So, get a plan together. Make a decision not to date someone who is not your type and who will leave you feeling even less sure about your ability to meet and marry a guy who is right for you. Follow your heart and stay true to your feelings. That and a good relationship building plan will very likely result in happy love for you.

End Notes

As you kick around your thoughts on one of the lazy summer days that lie ahead, try to spend a little time reflecting on what it is you are truly looking for in a mate. One size does not fit all. There are all kinds of singles out there, many whom share your vision of what a good and happy relationship looks like. Once you know the kind of person you need to compliment you, go out and actively pursue your relationship goals. What better time than summer to try new adventures while getting in your much needed rest and relaxation.

If you would like more help and advice on this or any other relationship issue, contact [e-mail]. Don't let this season slip into fall without taking advantage of all the fun ways that are now available all around you to meet compatible singles.

About the Author

www.consum-mate.com
Toni Coleman LCSW is a psychotherapist and relationship coach who specializes in working with singles wanting intimate lasting