The Equality Equation: Are You In An Equal Partnership?

by EqualityinMarriage.org

In the early stages of a relationship, the intense chemistry and mutual love of Chinese take-out while watching old movies may seem like more than enough. After you've gained that inevitable five pounds that comes with the transition from singledom to domesticity, you'll certainly find that "making it last" isn't as simple as pressing "play." The reality is that all the wonderful benefits of a long-term relationship come with intense responsibilities to manage that partnership. Building a balanced, equal partnership isn't an easy task and can't be ordered off a take-out menu.

Equality in a relationship has many dynamics. Essentially, for a partnership to be healthy, both parties have to feel equally valued in relation to emotions, lifestyle, finances and objectives. Below are a series of questions that will help you start thinking about the equality in your relationship.

Are Your Priorities Just As Important?

1. Is your partner aware of your goals, dreams and hopes for the future?
2. Does your relationship allow you to pursue these objectives?
3. Is your partner supportive of your endeavors? Are you equally supportive of his/hers?
4. Do you frequently adapt your schedule to meet your partner's needs?
5. Does one party in the relationship seem to extend more effort on the "us?"

Are You A Financial Equal?

1. Does one partner bring more money into the relationship? Are both of you comfortable with this situation?
2. Are you aware of your partner's assets, debts and spending habits?
3. Do you find it difficult to discuss financial issues with your partner?

Are You An Emotional Equal?

1. Do both of you communicate your feelings?
2. Are you open to listening to your partner's feelings and concerns?
3. Do you feel your concerns are addressed by your partner?
4. Are you fulfilled intimately?

There is no pass or fail on this quiz and your equality equation comes from your feelings of comfort with the partnership. Every relationship is different and creating balance takes constant attention. Don't be overly alarmed if these thought-starting questions lead you to wonder about your relationship. Make a commitment to set aside quality communication time to discuss the areas where you have concerns. Remember, a major symptom of an unequal relationship is the fear or inability to communicate your thoughts and concerns.

About the Author

The Equality in Marriage Institute was founded in 1998 by Lorna Wendt after her public divorce and fight for equality put her in the national spotlight. Through thousands of phone calls and letters, Lorna found that, like her, many individuals moved under the assumption that theirs was a fair, balanced partnership. Dedicated to helping other couples avoid her pitfalls, Lorna started the Institute to provide support, information and resources, for women and men in all stages of marriage. www.equalityinmarriage.org