The 'Feel-Good' Morality

I'm Sorry
by Jay Krunszyinsky

(Page 6 of 7)

Televisions, stereos, computers, video games, and friends are means by which children develop their sense of right and wrong in many families. Do you think children should develop their own sense of morality from means outside of their parents? In the hustle and bustle of life, a parent might be more apt to allow his child to turn to one of these mediums for extended periods of time. This does not allow a child to develop clear expectations of what constitutes right and wrong behavior. This also leaves the child to determine right and wrong by the social customs to which he is exposed. Have you ever heard the term moral relativism? Moral relativism means that moral standards are grounded only in social custom. Morals are defined as good acts. Do you know how you can get a good act to remain good if the social custom is hurtful? Don't worry, I do not know the answer either. The terms moral and relativism are contradictory. The prevailing thought or custom of society needs to contain a safeguard to prevent immorality. How will you keep your behavior in check if you do not adopt a morality that contains absolute rights and wrongs? Today, more and more children are adopting their parents' "feel good" morality, which often causes them to inflict hurt toward others. If more people declare a behavior an acceptable social custom, the behavior will become morally acceptable according to a relative moral view. A person's view on a social custom can be influenced by music, television, movies, literature, and societal trends. If these views are not held to a standard that is absolute in regards to right and wrong behavior, the person can begin to lose his ability to see the line between good and bad. Have you ever searched for a good feeling through sex, drugs, material possessions, or open expressions of anger or rage? Are your thoughts rational when you think that you can maintain a healthy relationship while pursuing only those things that make you feel good? What is right or wrong without having an absolute morality? You may question how this absolute standard is set. This will be defined and explained in more detail in the next chapter. Susan is a seventeen-year-old growing up in a family that does not teach morality. Susan and her friends have classroom discussions with teachers and counselors saying that sexual activity is appropriate if both people are consenting and safe sex is practiced. Through the media and discussions with other students, Susan concludes that the act of oral sex is not considered sexual due to this act not involving penetration. Susan really loves her boyfriend and decides this is a way to remain a virgin and show her boyfriend she loves him. Can you relate to Susan or Susan's parents in this example? If you have watched the news and special reports on television, you have been informed that this example has occurred among many teenagers. Many boys and girls believe they are keeping their virginity by engaging in oral sex. They perceive the social custom to be that oral sex is not sex. Where have you heard this before? This is an another example of moral relativism. The conclusion made by Susan was not based on rational thought processes. If Susan understood that her actions were in direct opposition to an absolute moral code that defines acts of love and intimacy, she would make more rational choices. If her parents developed clear behavioral expectations based upon specific virtues, she would be faced with the responsibility of making a decision either to respect her parents' view on morality or not. This is not to say that Susan would not have engaged in a sexual relationship. Her choice needed to be based upon her knowing that this behavior had consequences and was not endorsed by her parents or the other systems of care in her life. She and her boyfriend would need to learn what virtues should guide their decisions, and develop behavior expectations based upon these virtues. These expectations would need to align with their parents' expectations in these same areas. Her thought that oral sex was not sex was easily adopted, since she did not have an absolute morality to challenge this view. As you see, irrational thoughts can be used to justify behavior and avoid responsibility. The person who thinks in morally relative terms would experience difficulties recognizing the hurt that he would cause another person.

About the Author

Pedophilia, rape, and other horrific acts of hurt are in the national spotlight. When these and the more subtle forms of hurt are not acknowledged as absolute wrongs, persons can go through their lives confused about the concepts of right and wrong, as well as, good and bad. Jay Krunszyinsky has created a system for children, adolescents, and adults to process hurt and develop healthy relationships with the use of the virtues of honesty, love, and respect. The system of virtues and atonement described in this book will help the reader to develop an understanding of the truth surrounding healthy and unhealthy relationships and will be a guide for parents, couples, teachers, counselors, clergy, or anyone who touches the life of another human being. This book provides the reader a journey to the truth about relationships and finding happiness in one's life. This book will enlighten the reader while showing how powerful sorrow and atonement can be in helping people make sense of a chaotic world.