Are you a rational or irrational thinker? You may want to believe you are a rational thinker, but you find that you are the eternal pessimist, able to see only the half-empty glass in many situations you face. You are a rational thinker if you turn negative situations into positive ones. You can face unpleasant-ant situations and not become overwhelmed. You use your unique talents to resolve problems and view the brighter side of your life. If you are an irrational thinker, you will either overreact to problems or will not react at all. You will experience intense emotion-al pain when challenged to take responsibility for your actions or to acknowledge how your action may negatively impact another person. You become easily overwhelmed by the pace of work, family, and community responsibilities. You see negative qualities in the other person in your relationship and react in subtle ways to hurt him or her.

You have an internal monologue that runs through your day. Thoughts that are self-defeating or that provide unrealistic expectations for you are irrational thoughts. Using words like always, have to, and never can make thoughts irrational and expectations unrealistic. Thoughts that produce second-guessing messages such as "would have," "should have," and "could have" are irrational. By focusing your energy on thoughts that will not resolve problems or engage others in the here-and-now, you can send subtle, hurtful messages to another person. Thoughts that are uplifting and provide you with real solutions to everyday problems are rational thoughts. Rational thoughts will not always provide you with a warm, fuzzy feeling, but they will allow you to see the possibilities to get through the challenges of life. Rational thoughts help you to keep your perspective and priorities grounded in the truth. When you begin to feel that your life is awful and there is no hope, you are thinking irrationally.

Did you know that your thinking will influence how you feel and behave? Your thoughts are the guiding force behind your total social presentation. When you think rationally, you will experience positive feelings and demonstrate positive behavior. You will be more apt to act responsibly because you will see the situation much more clearly and feel more positive that you are doing the right thing for the other person. When you look at your relationship in a rational way, you take the time to assess how you are positively or negatively impacting the other person. You will see the unique qualities of the other person in your relationship. You will value the person's thoughts and feelings and allow this person to demonstrate his or her talents. You will not place conditions on your love, and you will engage in an open and honest dialogue.

Instead, you may be causing the shame, anger, and guilt in the other person in your relationship. You may be the source of the resentment or even the hate. If you are involved in an unhappy relationship, you may be acting and feeling in negative ways that are guided by your irrational thinking. If so, you would benefit from knowing the factors that contribute to your irrational thinking. There are three areas in which these factors may have surfaced during your life. They are your psychiatric or developmental stability, your childhood family setting, and your child-hood school setting.

Tags: Personal Growth

About the Author

Pedophilia, rape, and other horrific acts of hurt are in the national spotlight. When these and the more subtle forms of hurt are not acknowledged as absolute wrongs, persons can go through their lives confused about the concepts of right and wrong, as well as, good and bad. Jay Krunszyinsky has created a system for children, adolescents, and adults to process hurt and develop healthy relationships with the use of the virtues of honesty, love, and respect. The system of virtues and atonement described in this book will help the reader to develop an understanding of the truth surrounding healthy and unhealthy relationships and will be a guide for parents, couples, teachers, counselors, clergy, or anyone who touches the life of another human being. This book provides the reader a journey to the truth about relationships and finding happiness in one's life. This book will enlighten the reader while showing how powerful sorrow and atonement can be in helping people make sense of a chaotic world.