Does Size Matter?

by Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.

Men's worry over the size of their penises has lead to exaggerated claims of enlargement pumps, pills and props. Millions of dollars are spent on trying to expand the length and or girth of an average size member, on the assumption that bigger is better. There are even costly surgical procedures claiming to enlarge penis size, with no evidence whatsoever that these operations make any significant or lasting differences. But men worry, and men spend money, and men write all the time asking about what herbs or what exercises will add greatness to their otherwise mundane phallus. The answer, unfortunately, is that there are no reliable guaranteed methods that will make any significant differences in what nature had intended for the owner.

Penises, like noses, come in all sizes... so do clitorises, and ears, and feet. If I said that no woman wants a big penis in her, I would be flooded with e-mail from women stating, "The bigger, the better." Truth is, some women do like the big ones... they are no more likely to orgasm with a large penis than a smaller one, for there is truth in the saying that it is not the size of the tool that matters, but how you use it! But, the fact remains, some women want to feel full. However, it is likely that there are more women who find large penises uncomfortable... even painful, and opt for these of a more reasonable size. Let's face it, some people fit very well together, some don't. One size does not fit all!

Guess what. Vaginas are not of uniform size, although the average, when not aroused, is only about 3.5 inches long. Vaginas lengthen some during arousal and they stretch like crazy, but there is a limit to what they will stretch without triggering pain. For most women, their vaginas will expand as they become aroused, but with higher arousal will close down around the incorporated penis. At that point, unless the penis is either enormous or extremely small, most women will not be aware of the differences in penile size.

So, what can a couple do if they don't quite fit? First of all, let's remember that for the majority of women, the sensitivity of their clitorises far exceeds that of their vaginas. Therefore, couples should work on finding the positions of intercourse that provide to most clitoral stimulation. I always recommend the female superior position for this if the woman is willing to take control and find how best to position and move her body. With good clitoral stimulation, penis size becomes secondary. Another good maneuver is for the man to move up high on his partner's body so that his penis slides down over her clitoris as it enters her. Long stroking with short penis does not work well in this position, but staying in close and using short strokes works quite well.

If a woman wants to feel tighter around her partner's penis, she could begin doing the Kegel exercises that are described in detail in another of my articles on this site. It also adds to the mutual tight feeling if the man enters from the rear ("doggie style"). This is particularly effective if her head and chest are down, as this rotates her pubic bone up and provides a hard surface her partner must slide over. This also works well for a man who has trouble ejaculating during intercourse.

Bottom line on penis size... you've got it, you've got to learn to make the best of it, for no amount of worry, no amount of money, and no amount of magic is going to add anything that would make a perceptible difference to a woman. Experiment with positions of intercourse, perfect oral pleasuring, work magic with your hands and, with mutual agreement, find some fun toys to play with. Good sex is not about size... it's about having fun!

About the Author

www.oralcaress.com
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., Retired Marital & Sex Therapist, 35 years as a psychologist specializing in building sensual, intimate, and loving relationships. Clinician, lecturer, workshop leader, and author of nine books.