Pleasuring Him

by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.

Men are very visual beings. Their initial excitement often comes from what they see. So provide your lover with lots of visual stimulation. When wanting to elicit desire, wear sexy outfits or walk around naked in front of him. Take naked or provocative pictures of yourself and put them in his lunch or leave them on the mirror or some other strategically good spot. Go without a bra and panties and tell him you don't have any on. Call him at work and tell him you aren't wearing any, thus giving him a great image in his head to entertain throughout the day. Dress up in a very hot outfit and present your lover with a dance in which you slowly strip for him, by the time you are done he will be more than ready for you.

The mind is a sex organ. For men the mind can be one of the most important sex organs. Talk erotic to your lover. Talk dirty to him. Be descriptive. Tell him how hot and horny you are. Tell him how badly you want him. If you are not comfortable with certain words then try to find words that are satisfactory for both of you or try talking the way he wants you to part of the time and the way you prefer at other times. Keep in mind that a woman should never be forced to speak in a way that is disrespectful, derogatory or humiliating. (such as calling herself a slut) Men like to hear how good it feels for you and they like to hear compliments about their penis and their performance. Give them lots of assurance by telling them how beautiful there penis is and how great it feels. Tell him a fantasy story in his ear as you are making love.

Lots of fellatio. Men love fellatio, blowjobs, sucking or whatever they prefer to call it. Give it to them frequently. It is particularly pleasing to occasionally give fellatio in surprise situations and expect nothing in return. Remember that the head, the area around the head (corona) and the underside are the most sensitive to stimulation. This is where most pleasurable sensations are experienced. Vary your speed and direction when giving fellatio. This will give a variety of sensations. Run your lips up and down the sides of his shaft, caressing it with your mouth. Take him deep in your mouth and pull out towards the head while sucking like sucking on a straw. Suck, lick and caress the head with your lips and tongue while stroking the shaft with your hand. Massage his testicles with your lips, tongue or hands. Keep in mind that the testicles are very sensitive. They should always be handled gently and tenderly, because they can be easily hurt and ruin the moment. Be sure to tell your lover how great he tastes while giving him fellatio. (And always swallow. It is insulting to your man if you spit out his semen. It is also a turn off.)

Add a penis ring (cock ring) to your play. A penis ring restricts the flow of blood out of the penis and can intensify and prolong the erection. A penis ring can also intensify sensations and increase size and hardness. Many men also experience a more intense and pleasurable orgasm. You may also use your fingers to apply pressure around the base of the penis to give the same sensations. The penis ring can also work similarly to Viagra in that it can help men with erectile difficulties achieve and maintain erections with no side effects.

Anal Stimulation while giving fellatio can intensify satisfaction and bring new heights to orgasm experience. While giving fellatio reach between your lovers butt cheeks and rub his anus. This frequently will bring them close to orgasm and if you continue to rub the anus while they orgasm it can create very intense orgasms. Anal stimulation at other times can also be very enjoyable, such as when he is penetrating you or as foreplay. It can be very arousing to lick the anus when giving fellatio. Licking the anus while stroking the shaft can be another source of intense pleasure. Keep in mind that before any anal play the area should be washed thoroughly. If penetration of tongue, fingers, toys or penis occur in the anus they should be washed again before inserting in the vagina. Bacteria in the anal area will cause infection in the vagina.

Give your lover variety and spontaneity. As the saying goes variety is the spice of life. Be adventurous and spontaneous. Present your lover with new and exciting techniques, positions, games, and places on a regular basis. This really is a key factor in maintaining your lovers faithfulness. If your lover is never bored he will never have a reason to look elsewhere. (unless sexual addiction is present which is another issue and would need to be addressed) Sexual boredom is one of the main factors that causes unfaithfulness. This will also help you both to continue to enjoy each other and have fun. It will keep your intimacy alive with a sense of playfulness.

About the Author

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a writer and sex educator/advisor specializing in sexual intimacy and erotic communication between couples to keep the spark alive. She holds a Bachelors degree in Psychology and a Masters degree in Counseling. Smolderingembers.com She is also the author of the New Hot Sex Guide for couples titled 'SMOLDERING EMBERS' Hot Erotic Stories and Sex Tips to Light a Couple's Fire.