Pleasuring Her, Part 2

by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.

(Page 2 of 2)

Enjoy your woman, be present in the here and now, be into what your doing at the moment, completely focused in the here and now, desiring her, passionately pursuing her. Seeing your passion and desire for her will turn her on and unleash her desire. Let her know how much you desire her with words or passionate actions. Let her know how much you want her.

Tease her a little bit by building up anticipation. Make love to her whole body, not just her vagina or breasts! There is nothing that is a bigger turn off for a woman than a lover who immediately begins penetration without tending to her body.

Let out your sounds of pleasure. Moan, describe what you are feeling or tasting. This is very exciting for both partners. Men and women love to hear how you enjoy them. This can be especially arousing while giving them oral.

Become a master at oral pleasure. Most women are not able to orgasm by penetration alone. It is important for both partners to understand this so that neither one of you is feeling inadequate if it is not occurring. Penetration usually doesn't provide the necessary stimulation of the clitoris and G-spot needed to orgasm. There are particular positions you can do to help this occur which is discussed in my article titled Fantastic Positions, but by far, one of the best ways for a woman to orgasm is orally.

Combining oral with a vibrator is ecstatic for a woman. Having penetration while the clitoris is being stimulated produces the best orgasms. Find out where your lovers G-spot is and learn how to stimulate it. There is nothing more intense and satisfying as giving your lover a clitoral and G-spot orgasm simultaneously. Slipping a finger in her anus while penetrating vaginally and licking the clitoris can enhance the intensity even more.

Whereas the man wants to have his penis worshipped, the woman should be treated like Goddess. The whole woman, not just her sexual parts, and not only during lovemaking time, but in all aspects of the relationship. Make her special, cherished and valued and she will reward you quite nicely. Make her feel adored and wanted. Keep your woman feeling wanted, respected, desired, important and valued at all times and you will have a woman full of desire for you and you will heighten her sexual satisfaction greatly. She will also have a lot of willingness to satisfy your needs, because she is so attended to and satisfied.

After the lovemaking it is important to stay with your partner both physically and emotionally for at least a period of time. You should not be jumping out of bed immediately after orgasm. Some holding and cuddling afterwards are necessary. This can be done in intimate silence or it is also good for you to tell her how wonderful it was or how good it felt or what was particularly enjoyable for you about her. Of course the woman should also express her experience to the male as well. This is also a good time for deep emotional sharing which will bring you closer together. You can also continue enjoyable sensations by continuing to kiss and touch softly her neck, shoulders, thighs, face lips etc. Soft, gentle touching of the breasts or between and around the legs, but not with the intention of stimulation. Just enjoy the sensations and bask in the pleasure of the experience you have just shared. Afterplay reinforces how a woman feels about the experience. If the sex is great, but there is no afterplay it will reinforce a negative experience for her and this will impact whether she will do it again or how receptive she will be to you the next time. How she perceives the experience will affect her desire for you. If reinforcement is positive she will see you as a good lover and her desire for your will be greater. Afterplay is just as important for the woman as is foreplay. It completes the act of lovemaking.

We are all very unique in regard to what feels good and satisfies us. If your partner tells you something that contradicts what I have said here, then always listen to them and follow their desires. Communication is the biggest factor to sexual satisfaction and intimacy in a relationship.

About the Author

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a writer and sex educator/advisor specializing in sexual intimacy and erotic communication between couples to keep the spark alive. She holds a Bachelors degree in Psychology and a Masters degree in Counseling. Smolderingembers.com She is also the author of the New Hot Sex Guide for couples titled 'SMOLDERING EMBERS' Hot Erotic Stories and Sex Tips to Light a Couple's Fire.