Pleasuring Her

by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.

Yep as the saying goes "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus." Where as men are very visual beings, women are very tactile and emotional. Men like meat and potatoes, women like the all the fixings on the side. They love to be touched and emotion is important for good sex. What is going on outside of the bedroom is just as important for a woman as what goes on inside the bedroom. Women are more attracted to a man who listens to her. If a woman feels listened to she will feel important and valued and her desire will be greater. One of the most important issues for a woman is to be heard. Being heard and feeling valued will increase her feelings of intimacy with her lover and enable her to be free and uninhibited in her lovemaking. The path to orgasm is just as fulfilling as the orgasm itself and the path is also important for enhancing her orgasm experience.

A woman wants to be understood and feel important. Remember what she tells you about her life. Be interested in her life, not just her sexuality. Take an active interest in her what's going on in her life. She will want you more.

Women are excited visually as well, but they are excited by seeing passion, desire, love, sensuality and the look of desire on their lovers face or look of affection in their eyes. Soft and gentle touching of as many parts of the body as possible elicits great passion for a woman. Take your time and savor her. Take the long meandering road to orgasm. Cherish and adore her body along the way.

Kisses are important. Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest turn ons. Looking into her eyes or touching her face while kissing her can increase arousal of the kiss. Kissing parts of the body such as the neck, belly, inner thighs, buttocks, pelvis area surrounding the vagina, fingers and maybe even feet for some people can heighten passion. Before licking or kissing between her legs it will be more satisfying to her if you kiss and nibble the other parts of her body surrounding her vagina. Don't just dive right in. Tease and entice her with your tongue.

Prior to lovemaking time, hug your woman on a frequent basis, put your arm around her, hold her hand, tell her you love her. Women to like to hear "I love you" or something close to that. If it has not reached that point yet, then express your care for her, tell her how important she is to your life. Holding hands in an embracing , locking way during foreplay and lovemaking can be very arousing as well.

In the bedroom tell her how good she tastes or smells and feels. How you love her pussy and how you love to make love with her. Use language that is comfortable for her. If tits, cunt or fuck is offensive to her then she will be turned off. If it's a turn on for you then you should discuss this outside the bedroom prior to sex and find mutual words that are arousing or you could agree on taking turns on saying what the other one wants to hear. Find out what she prefers to call her anatomy and the sexual experience. There are different styles of language for different people. Some people may want to hear this: "I want to make love to you," and another person may want to hear this: "I want to Fuck you" and another may want to hear: "I want you so bad". It is important to know which of these levels is exciting to your lover. Caress her with words.

Tell your woman you want to know what pleases her. You may have to coax her a bit to get her to tell you, but she will feel important and valued that you are interested. Pay attention to how she responds to each of your touches, kisses and movements and learn what she likes. Ask her to show you what satisfies her. Pay attention to cues such as facial expressions or moans of passion. Remember what she tells you and what you observe and give it to her regularly. It will be irritating if she has to tell you repeatedly. Both male and female lovers should learn what pleases the other and eventually know it like the back of their hand.

About the Author

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a writer and sex educator/advisor specializing in sexual intimacy and erotic communication between couples to keep the spark alive. She holds a Bachelors degree in Psychology and a Masters degree in Counseling. Smolderingembers.com She is also the author of the New Hot Sex Guide for couples titled 'SMOLDERING EMBERS' Hot Erotic Stories and Sex Tips to Light a Couple's Fire.