Communication and Customer Service

by Jan Pedersen

This week I suffered the inevitable. Travel enough and eventually you'll experience the frustration of a delayed flight.

As I sat waiting to learn exactly what time my flight from Kansas City to Denver would really leave (versus allowing myself to be soothed by the posted departure time), I began to ask myself: "Exactly what about this experience is making me so angry?"

I like to think of myself as a reasonable person. I like to believe that the "little things" of life have no power to influence my mood. But then there's the truth. My frustration began to overpower my reason, my jaw began to clench, and almost without warning, I turned into that cliché called "disgruntled customer."

I decided that what would help me diminish my frustration was to pass it on to the hapless person behind the "customer service" counter.

"What time is this flight actually leaving?" I asked with barely concealed self-righteous sarcasm.

"6:30, ma'am," replied the agent smoothly.

"Have you looked at your watch recently?" The sarcasm began to drip acid. It was 6:35. "It's obvious we're not leaving at 6:30."

That got her attention. I saw the fear in her eyes, and I felt, just for a moment, delighted. Superior. Powerful. Then I came to my senses.

"I don't mean to be so nasty," I explained. "I'm just concerned that what began as an hour's delay has now stretched to an hour and a half. It's eating into my connection time. I'm frustrated because I'm not getting information. See, what I want is to know when and if I can reasonably expect to get home tonight."

Now, to me, I did the right thing. I caught myself in a communication "misdeed" and righted it as soon as I could. In my thinking, if I changed my approach, then she had to change her response.

Wrong.

"There's nothing I can do," she said mechanically, the fear still shining there behind her eyes. "It's not our fault. There was an equipment delay." She then turned to take it in the neck from the next disgruntled passenger.

What's missing in most "customer service" encounters is the simple courtesy of providing information. Of course the delay was not her fault. Of course there was nothing she could do about delayed equipment. But as a customer, I am less concerned with what she couldn't do, and most concerned with what she could have done.

What might she have done? Offered to check my final flight and see if that was departing on time. Offered to make me a backup reservation in case I missed the next flight. Or simply shifted her attention from herself to her customers and offered a little of the milk of human kindness.

I'm reminded of a Customer Service Director at a cruise line I once worked for. She was the hand-off of last resort. By the time a customer reached her, it was because none of the other customer service reps had been able to solve the problem--and the customers were fairly steaming with rage by the time she spoke with them. She was Isabel, the High Priestess of Service.

"You poor thing," she would croon. "It must have been just TERRIBLE for you to have that experience." She would ooze sympathy, cuddle them with her soft Scots brogue, and when they had calmed down, she would ask, "What can I ever do to make it up to you?"

Shockingly, nobody ever asked for anything difficult. Most of the unhappy customers would end up apologizing, and would leave the conversation feeling thoroughly listened to and appreciated as people. They would send letters to the President of the line, praising this woman, and thanking her for just listening.

The keys to her approach were simple: Listen. Then listen some more. Then empathize. Then ask if there was anything else they needed to say. Then thank them for saying it.

The best customer service people are able to put themselves aside and realize that when someone is frustrated by lack of understanding, they become angry. And when they become angry, they can't think or talk straight. The best customer service people forgive angry customers for their inability to consciously think through their frustration. They help the customer articulate wants and needs more directly, and assume the want or need is a valid one.

The best customer service people know it's not what you say, but how you say it. They eliminate "no," "can't," "won't," "impossible," and other negative tone language from the conversation. They approach the situation with a "Here's what we can do" optimism that makes their customers feel taken care of. And when customers feel taken care of, they come back.

Now...did I make it home that night? Yes, I did. And was my experience at the customer service counter a valuable one? I think so. It enabled me to contribute this insight to you.

About the Author

Jan Pedersen Speaker, Trainer, Author "Mastering life by mastering communication." Author: "Intentional Communication: Speaking and Listening for Results". www.communicate4results.com