Handling Holiday Stress: Frequently Asked Questions

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Q. I always go through the period before the holidays in a huge rush. Every year, I tell myself I’d like to do this or that, but I seem to be short of time, money and energy- and I don’t follow through. Is it realistic to think I can really change this pattern, given my work demands and all my other responsibilities?

A. Yes, I believe it is very possible to make the changes you are describing. It will require three things; planning, prioritizing and setting good limits. You need to sit down and DECIDE what is most important to you. Make sure you are choosing, not just acting blindly. Once you have done this, you will need to let go of some things or do them differently or at a different time. This is where limit setting comes in. Be open to letting go in order to free up time, energy and money to do those things you want to do- but never get to. Begin today, and have a more peaceful and stress-free holiday.

Q. I have difficulty knowing what I want (in general) or identifying what is really important to me. I often have the sense that I have few interests and can’t come up with a list of holiday musts for myself. Is there just something wrong with me? Is it just that I don’t like the holidays?

A. I think the very fact that you asked the question leaves open the possibility that you don’t understand your own feelings or have difficulty tuning into them. The reasons for this can be many and may have origins that go back to holidays past. However, you do not have to do a long and searching examination of your past to make some immediate changes. Get in a quiet position, free of other distractions, and let your mind wander to thoughts of the holiday. Let this be a “free association” of your thoughts. Do this for ten minutes or less. Then immediately write down the thoughts you had. Some examples might be- holiday music, a Christmas movie or play, opening gifts with family or a significant other, going to a holiday display, etc.

Try to connect with the feeling that went with each image. Now write down what you think matters most to you, in order of priority. Now right a brief action plan for each- (i.e.) buy ticket (s) to a local theatre for A Christmas Carol. Remember to pay close attention to anything that comes up as a “must do”. This may be one you do because you feel you are supposed to. If so, you can put it aside and replace it with a new activity or tradition of your own choosing. This activity will not lead to a sudden and complete change in your feelings around the holidays, but should be a nice first step that leads to more satisfaction and fun this year (and in the years ahead).

END NOTES

This issue was designed to provide you with a primer for a fulfilling and peaceful holiday season. The key to this is to lower your stress while raising your level of positive energy and excitement. Take some time today to make your wish list, begin implementing your plans and tune in to what is most important to you. Have a restful and peaceful few weeks and Happy Holidays.