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Aphrodite's gifts of sensual enjoyment, beauty, relationship, and the ability to attract and to connect with others are precious. There are few sights as totally seductive and charming as a little girl who is beginning to feel this power. She shamelessly flirts, she primps, she caresses others and she enjoys her power to attract. Others love to be with her. Mothers love to feel her combing their hair, fathers love to feel her cuddling up in their laps. She makes everyone around her feel good. Similarly, a grown woman's sensuality and her sexual nature can be breathtaking. Her ability to attract is immense.

In the realm of the Shadow King, these gifts are always associated with femininity and often viewed with distrust. Wouldn't it be interesting if our world were to value attraction more and if men, as well as women, were permitted to enjoy their Aphrodite nature? What if we, as Brianne Swimme suggests in The Universe is a Green Dragon, paid more attention to what attracts us? What if we valued attraction and what holds us together instead of concentrating upon our differences and what holds us apart? I would suggest that the world might be quite different. Gravity, or the law of attraction, seems to work pretty well in the physical world.

This reminds me of an apocryphal story about an area up here in Northern California. This part of the country was settled by Russian seal traders. That is why we have a Russian River and there are towns with names like Sebastopol. Well, there came a time when this began to be a problem. The Mexicans held territory as far north as San Francisco and they were not too happy with the Russians so very close by. Now, if everyone had concentrated upon differences, there would have been a war to settle matters. But, instead, Aphrodite came to the rescue. It seems as though the daughter of the governor of San Francisco and the commanding officer of Ft. Ross, the headquarters of the Russians, fell in love. This led to some very pleasant negotiations and matters were settled easily. The fort and the Russian holdings were sold to Mexico and all was peacefully settled.

In the realm of the Shadow King, however, attraction is to be used not enjoyed. Women have been taught to be ashamed of their Aphrodite nature. Sensuality has been equated with sexuality and both have been demeaned. A woman's sexuality has been turned into a commodity. It is used to sell products, movies, or even the women themselves. According to the laws of this kingdom in the shadows, sensuality and sexuality are to be controlled and ruled over by men and never to be enjoyed for their own sake by women. If a woman claims the right to this, she has gone against timeless rules and her Inner Patriarch will be mighty upset!

So we see that these traditionally feminine gifts have been turned sour. This has serious consequences for men as well as women. As these gifts have been trivialized, not only women, but men, too, have been discouraged from enjoying them. Thus, men have suffered this loss equally with women and many of the delights of being human have been denied to them as well. If they cared deeply about relationship, love, and sensuality, and if they wanted to participate in childrearing they would be admitting that they felt as women did, and this, according to the beliefs of the Shadow King, would be admitting their inferiority. Let us now meet the one who carries these beliefs, our Shadow King, the Inner Patriarch.

Tags: Sex and Romance, Women's Studies

About the Author

Hal Stone, Ph.D. and Sidra Stone, Ph.D. are the co-creators of Voice Dialogue. They are hopeless romantics and, as clinical psychologists with a combined experience of about 80 years, they are committed to keeping the magic and vitality in relationships. They have co-authored five books. Their latest book, Partnering: A New Kind of Relationship, sums up a lifetime of wisdom. Their books are available at local bookstores or from Amazon.com. www.delos-inc.com