Painting Your Inner Self

The Weekend Healer
by Jane Alexander

(Page 2 of 2)

Painting, drawing and sculpting are all ideal partners in the retreat process. Don't come with any expectations and let go the concept that you have to paint “properly” or draw well. Art can free the unconscious mind quite dramatically and many people have found startling answers to problems with these techniques.

You will need somewhere you can be messy if need be. If necessary cover an entire wall with an old sheet and put another on the floor. You can work on a table or pin your paper to a piece of chipboard on the wall. Choose large sheets of paper - newspaper is fine. And pick your choice of art material - poster paints are a good choice for beginners.

1. Spend a few moments centering yourself and breathing deeply. You may wish to lie down and practice full abdominal breathing.

2. Now look at the paper and paints and brushes. Which brush draws you? Which color calls to you? Pick up your brush and make marks on the paper.

3. An image may come to mind - so represent it in whichever way you like. Or you may just splash color around. Don't worry if it doesn't seem to “go right” - rest assured, it is just fine, whatever you have done.

4. If you find you are really stuck try one of these tips: paint with your non-dominant hand; close your eyes and paint; put on some music and follow the rhythm of the sounds.

5. Allow your feelings free rein. You may find you want to use your hands and fingers instead of a brush. You might want to scratch or tear the paper. You may simply paint one color - or one tiny image.

6. If you feel emotions coming up, give them permission and allow them space. You may feel like crying, or shouting, or beating the wall (or a cushion).

7. When you feel you have finished, take a break and leave your painting for a while. You might break for a cup of herbal tea, or a meal, or a walk in the garden.

8. Come back and look at your image. What does it say to you? You may want to write down any thoughts and responses in your journal. If your painting had a name, what would it be? If it had a message for you, what would it be?

BOX - MAKING A MANDALA OF YOUR LIFE

• Draw or paint a large circle. In the middle you might like to put a photograph of yourself.
• Divide the circle into segments; one for each role in your life. So you could have “software developer”, “mother”, “partner”, “cook”, “lover”, “exerciser”, “gardener” etc. How much time do you give each role - make it clear by how large each segment is.
• Now put an image for each role. You may want to cut out images from magazines - or paint pictures, symbols or just colours.
• Look at your mandala - how does it make you feel?
• You may now wish to paint a mandala of the way you would LIKE your life to be. How much time and energy would you give to each role? Are there other roles you'd like to explore?

SEEKING THE SACRED

Traditionally retreats were religious in purpose. However you feel about mainstream religion, it is worth bringing a sense of the sacred to your retreat. How you do this is up to you but you might consider the following:

BUILD AN ALTAR: An altar is simply a place to focus your intentions and open yourself to the possibility of the divine. It can take many forms and should incorporate items which have meaning for you. For example:

• items which symbolise the elements: a bowl of water (you may wish to add flowers or petals); a candle (for fire); incense or aromatherapy burner (for air); crystals, a bowl of salt or pebbles (for earth).
• images, statues, pictures which have meaning for you - these could be religious (perhaps a figure of Buddha, the Cross, a Star of David, the Goddess, Shiva etc.) or secular.
• items from the natural world which resonate - stones from a stream, a pebble or shell, leaves, flowers, pieces of wood.
• pictures of people dear to you; or images of yourself doing activities you enjoy. Or something which symbolises your goals and aspirations.

PRAYER

You can use your altar as a place of prayer - or find another spot which suits you. There are many ways to pray - you may feel comfortable with traditional prayers, chants or blessings particular to your (present or childhood) faith. But equally you can take a more freeform approach.

• If there were a deity, what would you want to ask him/her?
• What is there in your life for which you are thankful? What gifts have you been given? Offer up your gratitude for life's blessings.
• What is there in life which troubles you? Ask for guidance, help, support and comfort.
• You don't need to sit still, or kneel to pray. Try going on a “prayer walk”. Pick somewhere safe and preferably beautiful, where you can walk slowly. Keep your pace measured and rhythmic. Notice the world around you - pay attention to the beauty in nature. As you walk, you may want to pray for people you know; or mull over concerns or anxieties with the divine.

The Break-The-Routine Weekend: Friday Evening

Sometimes you look at your life and realize you are stuck in a rut. You've been following the same routine day in, day out — and are feeling jaded and bored. It's time to jolt yourself into a whole new lifestyle. Obviously you can't change your entire life in a weekend, but you can make a good start. At the very least this weekend will challenge your perceptions and shift your consciousness into a new pattern.

SHOPPING LIST

• green candle
• pine or lemon aromatherapy oil and burner
• pen and paper, crayons or paints
• a selection of completely different foods and drinks from usual
• Walnut Bach flower remedy

FRIDAY EVENING

Tonight you're going to be doing a fair amount of writing and thinking so choose a meal that is easy to prepare. Which of the following would you never normally eat? Fish and chips; takeaway Indian or Chinese; a humus sandwich; miso soup; tofu stirfry? Choose the one which you have never (or rarely) eaten before.

THINKING ABOUT ROUTINE

• Light a green candle (to symbolize fresh beginnings) and maybe burn some pine or lemon aromatherapy oil.
• Spend some time writing down how you spend your life now. What is your daily routine? Be specific: do you always get up in the same way? What do you eat for breakfast? How do you get to work etc?
• Do you do specific things on specific days? Do you take your holidays at the same time or go to the same place? How much routine is there in your life?
• How does this make you feel? Do you feel comforted by routine or stifled by it? Sometimes it's hard to tell until you try making a shift. This weekend you are doing to do things completely differently, as often as possible. It may sound contrived but just try it: sometimes even a small or silly shift can produce a completely different perspective and open up new opportunities. So play with this.
• Next to every entry on your paper, write down something opposite or totally different. Ie: buy a croissant on the way to work for breakfast: make a home breakfast of fresh fruit salad and muesli. OR: Drive to work/shops/school: take the bus/train/cycle
• Go through the day in this way and resolve to shift absolutely everything you can this weekend.

SATURDAY

MORNING

Before you even get up, shift your usual morning regime. If you're usually up at the crack of dawn, try lying in bed for a while, just thinking or with a book. How does it feel to relax like this? If you are a habitual lie-in-bed, set your alarm for dawn and get up with the birds.

STRETCHING THE WOOD ELEMENT

According to Chinese philosophy, the body contains five elements. The Wood element relates to creativity and expression and if Wood is balanced in your body you will be far more flexible and creative, confident and decisive. Help bring Wood into balance with these simple shiatsu and stretching exercises.

1. Sit on the floor with your legs spread wide apart. Reach down to your left foot, looking at your right foot, feeling the full stretch down your side and legs. Repeat on the other side.

2. Stand up with your feet apart. Let your arms swing loosely from side to side for a few minutes. Feel the air on your arms. Be as loose and relaxed as possible.

3. Lie on your back. Have someone rotate the joints of your shoulders and hips. They should lift your leg or arm and support the shoulder or hip with the other hand. The movement should be gentle and smooth. If the joint sticks, gently pull the limb and hold the stretch for a few moments. It should feel good, not painful - don't go beyond what feels comfortable.

4. Further stimulate Wood by taking up yoga - or by carrying out a full programme of stretching every day. Try the Sun and Moon Salutes.

SHIFTING PERSPECTIVE

Now go outside, to your garden, or park or a wild place nearby. You're looking for a stone, one that “speaks to you”. You'll know it when you find it. Pick up the stone (or sit by it if it's a huge boulder!) and sit quietly with it. Feel it (with your fingers and hands, against your face); smell it; look at it (really notice everything about it); taste it. Build up as much knowledge as you can about this stone. Now imagine you actually ARE that stone. What would it be like to be a stone? Feel how stone energy would be. Don't race this exercise — stone energy is not a swift thing, it takes time and patience.

When you feel this is complete, either put your stone back or take it with you for future meetings.

Now repeat this exercise with a piece of wood. What is the difference?

If you have time, you can continue, sensing the energy of an animal. How would it feel to be a rabbit, a dog, a horse, a squirrel?

These exercises expand your awareness and open you to different kinds of energy. Few of us have the ability to shift energy patterns yet it can be very useful. If you are facing an interminable wait stone energy is very helpful (what are a few hours or even millennia to a stone?).

AFTERNOON

Go out to a nearby town. If you usually drive, take the bus. If you usually take the train, book a taxi. Go somewhere completely different for lunch: if you always grab a sandwich in a café, treat yourself to a proper meal in a smart restaurant — or vice versa. If you usually eat alone, arrange to meet a friend. If you never eat alone, make a point of it! Don't pick your usual favourite on the menu — try something completely different.

Now make a point of going into at least three shops you would never normally visit. Keep an open mind.

EVENING

How do you usually spend your evenings? Tonight do something you would never usually do: maybe try a classical concert (or a rock gig); going salsa dancing or for a walk in the moonlight. Stay in and pamper yourself with a beauty evening (see Beauty weekend for ideas); turn off the television (or, if you never watch it, turn it on!) Whatever you do, make sure it is different.

If you come back in time, try this exercise. Take out a large sheet of paper and make a list of 100 things you would like to do in your life. They don't need to be practical or sensible and they can range from the small and humdrum (get a haircut, buy some incense) to the medium range (visit a health-farm, learn to read the tarot, go to French evening classes) to really wild scenarios (start your own business; travel round the world; have cosmetic surgery; move to another country).

SUNDAY

MORNING

What kind of spiritual life do you have? Do you have any spiritual practice? This morning think about expanding your spiritual perspective. Do you go to regular worship? Think about visiting another place of worship, either of your own or a different faith. Or stay at home and spend some time in meditation and quiet prayer.

If you have no faith and no spiritual practice, think about your relationship to the divine. If you have a longstanding dislike of church or synagogue or mosque, maybe now is the time to re-evaluate. If there is a service this morning, why not go? If not, maybe just visit to get a feel for the place.

AFTERNOON

We can get in ruts with people just as easily as with activities. This afternoon we're going to look at a technique which helps you transform difficult relationships. Think of someone who you find really difficult and with whom you have a bad relationship.

1. Sit or lie down and spend a few minutes breathing calmly and deeply.

2. Now sit up and write down the reasons for your argument. You can pour out all your resentment and any feelings of anger.

3. Now set up two chairs. Sit in one and imagine the other person is sitting in the other chair. Tell them exactly why you find them so difficult.

4. Now swap chairs and imagine you are the other person. Why do they find you difficult or unreasonable? Allow yourself to slip into their shoes and express their grievances.

5. Swap chairs like this for as long as it takes to understand both sides of the question. Try to accept that there are two sides to every disagreement. People are just different!

6. Now burn the piece of paper containing your grievances.

7. Send unconditional love to the person. However difficult you may find this, persist as it is deeply transformative.

Use this technique any time you find yourself at implacable odds with someone. It can be enlightening to see the world from someone else's perspective.

EVENING

This evening look back at your list of the 100 things (or, if you didn't have time yesterday do it tonight). Decide that you will do at least one in this coming week. Underline the ones you would really love to do. Make a time frame: commit to doing some in the next year. For longterm goals, work out things you could do towards that goal — ie put aside £ a week towards that round-the-world trip; find out how to retrain in your ideal career; spend an hour a day (or a week) writing your novel.

BRAIN GYM

Finish your evening with these simple exercises from Educational Kinesiology. They help to re-tune the brain and teach you to start seeing the world in a different way.

BELLY BREATHING: This improves the supply of oxygen to the entire body. It relaxes the central nervous system while increasing your energy levels. It can help improve both reading and speaking abilities.

1. Place your hands on your abdomen. Exhale through your mouth in short little puffs, as if you are keeping a feather in the air, until your lungs feel empty.

2. Now inhale deeply through your nose, filling yourself like a balloon beneath your hand. (By arching your back slightly you can take in even more air.)

3. Then slowly and fully exhale through your mouth.

4. Repeat this inhalation and exhalation, establishing a natural rhythm, during the course of three or more breaths.

BRAIN BUTTONS: This stimulates the carotid arteries which supply freshly oxygenated blood to the brain. They help re-establish directional messages from parts of the body to the brain, improving reading, writing, speaking and the ability to follow directions.

1. Rest one hand over your navel.

2. With the thumb and fingers of the other hand, feel for the two hollow areas under the collarbone, about one inch out from the centre of the chest. Rub these areas vigorously for 30 seconds to one minutes, as you look from left to right.

Friday

Are you good friends with your body? Or are you indifferent acquaintances or, even worse, sworn enemies? Few of us are really in touch with our bodies and the consequences can range from niggling aches and pains to chronic disease. This weekend will help you redefine your relationship with your body.

SHOPPING LIST

• your choice of healthy eating foods (see box)
• 6 litres mineral water
• Walnut Bach flower remedy
• lemon, geranium, lavender and Roman chamomile essential oils
• sweet almond oil

FRIDAY NIGHT

Tonight you're going to start focusing on your body, becoming more aware. Start with a refreshing shower ritual.

1. Put a couple of drops of lemon oil (which is refreshing and promotes self-awareness) on a bath-mitt or loofah.

2. As you wash each part of your body, focus and bring awareness to that part.

3. Affirm to yourself that, this weekend, you will treat your body with kindness..

SUPPER

Eat your usual kind of supper but become aware of what you are eating and drinking.

• How does it taste? How does it feel in your mouth?
• How do you feel as you eat?
• How do you feel after your meal? Ten minutes later?
• Does your body like this kind of diet? Does it give you the right combination of energy and peace? Do you sleep well afterwards?
• Just become aware of how your body enjoys (or doesn't!) the food you feed it.

HEALTHY EATING BOX

Diet affects every part of you — body, mind and emotions. So it's worth eating well. The following are very general guidelines. This weekend, try to make sure every thing you eat is providing the best possible nutrition.

• food should be as natural as possible - organic, grown locally and in its natural season.
• eat loads of fresh fruit and vegetables: at least five portions a day.
• stock up on complex carbohydrates - brown rice, oats and other whole or unrefined grains; wholemeal pasta and bread, potatoes.
• add a good source of protein: pulses, nuts, lean white meat, fish (particularly oily fish), soy bean products.
• spice up your food with herbs and spices which have wonderful healing benefits. How about growing your own in tubs or window boxes?
• drink at least 3 pints (2 litres) of fresh mineral water each day.
• cut down on alcohol. Wean yourself off caffeine (in coffee, tea, sodas) - try herbal teas instead.
• cut down on the following: salt, sugar and artificial sweeteners. “Junk” food, ready meals and fast food. Smoked meats and sausages are full of additives; red meat, full-fat dairy produce and fried foods.

SATURDAY

MORNING

Affirm to yourself as you lie in bed that this weekend your aim is to become more aware of your body; to learn to listen to its needs and to be kinder and gentler with it. Take three drops of the Bach Flower Remedy Walnut in a glass of mineral water - Walnut helps us to make changes and to break with your old unhealthy, unhelpful habits.

BODY AWARENESS

Try this exercise immediately upon rising. It helps you become aware of your body, more conscious of how it feels. It is worth spending at least twenty minutes on this exercise - it sounds simple but can provide you with essential knowledge.

1. Wearing no clothes, or loose-fitting nightwear, lie on the floor on your back.

2. Become aware of your body as it is right now. Feel the floor underneath you - notice where your body touches it and where it doesn't.

3. Place your attention in your feet. How do your toes feel? Your heels? Are your feet hot or cold? Light or heavy? Is there any difference between the two feet?

4. Work up your legs, asking the same questions of your ankles, your calves, your knees, thighs, hips. Move onto your buttocks, belly, abdomen, chest and shoulders.

5. Concentrate on your back. How does your spine feel? Do you notice any difference between the lower, middle and upper regions of your spine? How is your neck? Continue down your arms, wrists, hands.

6. Finally move to your face and head. Are you holding tension in your jaw? Is there a difference between one side of the face and the other? One eye and the other? Your ears? How does your scalp feel? Your hair?

TALK TO YOUR BODY

We usually never think of asking our bodies what they need or want. This morning sit down quietly and dialogue with your body: ask it

• what it needs right now - water; food (what food?); a good stretch; exercise; rest; sleep?
• what it would like to do this morning?
• what changes it would like you to make in general: change of diet; more, less or different exercise; stress relief; more rest etc...
• follow its demands as wholeheartedly as possible. Make a plan of how you could adapt your lifestyle to help your body with what it needs.

If you find this difficult imagine what your body MIGHT say, were it to know? Just play with the idea - you may be surprised at what emerges.

AFTERNOON:

Have some bodywork. Many of us suffer from touch deprivation - our bodies are simply not stroked, rubbed, massaged and touched enough. This afternoon try to make time for a professional session - check out your local health centre or Yellow Pages for ideas. All forms of bodywork help you get in touch with your body - and can often release old hurts and memories too. Here are some options:

• aromatherapy: a gentle massage with therapeutic oils.
• shiatsu: Japanese energy treatment, using acupressure and stretching. Great if you're self-conscious as you leave your clothes on.
• Thai massage: “lazy man's yoga” - deep stretching (again you keep your clothes on.
• tuina: Chinese therapeutic massage - strong bodywork and manipulation.

EVENING:

Practice the art of good breathing - it puts you in touch with your body and is an invaluable tool for good health.

1. Lie down on the floor and make yourself comfortable. Bring your feet close in to your buttocks and allow the feet to fall apart, bringing the soles of the feet together, hands resting gently on your abdomen. (Note: this may feel uncomfortable and, if so, you can put cushions under your knees.) This posture stretches the lower abdomen which enhances the breathing process.

2. Breathe in with a slow smooth inhalation through your nostrils, feeling your abdomen expand and contract. Your fingers will part as your abdomen expands.

3. Exhale slowly and steadily through your nostrils, noticing your abdomen flatten and that your fingers are once again touching.

4. Pause for a second or two and then repeat this inhalation and exhalation, becoming conscious of the movement of the breath down through your chest and abdomen. Breathe naturally at your own pace in this way for around five minutes or as long as you feel comfortable.

5. If you feel comfortable with this you can extend the breath so it comes up from the abdomen into the chest as you inhale. This provides a longer, deeper breath.

6. Finally, bring your knees together and gently stretch out the legs. Allow yourself to relax comfortably on the ground for a few minutes (you may feel more comfortable with a cushion under your lower back or your neck.)

BATH AND MASSAGE

Finish your day with a long, luxurious bath (add a couple of drops each of lavender and roman chamomile oils to relax and foster acceptance). Massage yourself afterwards with a blend of four drops each of the above oils in four teaspoons (15-20ml) of sweet almond oil. Pay attention to each part of your body, spending more time on the parts which are sore or stressed.

You don't need perfect technique - just a willingness to touch and connect with your body.

SUNDAY

Today we go deeper into body awareness. Affirm to yourself that this is an enjoyable and satisfying process. If you have any doubts or problems, don't dismiss them: spend time quietly thinking the issues through. You may find it useful to write down your thoughts and irritations.

MORNING

Repeat the body awareness routine as you did on Saturday. Now check what your body wants to do today. It might ask to:

• walk - don't march, be aware of how you are walking; what you are seeing, hearing, feeling around you.
• sit under a tree and muse, or meditate, or read or dream.
• exercise - maybe a bike ride, or a swim, or a session at the gym or an aerobics class. If you don't exercise, spend time thinking what form of exercise you might enjoy.
• enjoy another massage - maybe a different one. Or you could find a friend and trade massages.
• play games: which sports did you enjoy at school? Maybe it's time to join another netball team or play football, or baseball. Play hide-and-seek with the kids.
• practice yoga or pilates, or chi kung, or tai chi. If these forms of mind-body exercise are new to you, find a local class and investigate.
• look into new ways of cooking and eating: maybe buy a book on low-fat cooking; vegetarian eating; macrobiotics; or food combining; or ayurvedic eating? Your local health centre might hold healthy cookery classes.
• see a natural healthcare practitioner: your body might be crying out for a dose of homeopathy, acupuncture, herbalism, nutritional therapy; ayurveda; reflexology, naturopathy. Browse the internet or your local book store for books on different therapies. Which appeals most?

AFTERNOON

This afternoon, try movement and art to become aware of your body. Make sure you will not be disturbed — you might want to draw the curtains! Don't be afraid to do whatever you feel the urge to do — this isn't about “proper” dancing or “good” art — it's about learning more of your body.

1. Take off your shoes and socks and start walking around the room, becoming aware of how your body relates to it. Notice how your feet feel on the floor. Notice how your arms might want to stretch out.

2. Stop for a moment and balance firmly on both feet. Feel your body relax into your pelvis. Feel your pelvis as a bowl which supports your body. Bring your awareness here and feel how it wants to move.

3. Feel how your body wants to move. Don't just move for the sake of it but really listen to what your body wants. It might feel like throwing itself around the room; it might want to sway gently; it might want to curl up in a ball.

4. If you do stop moving, remain aware that this might just be a pause. Be open to the idea of movement and await your body's orders. Allow it to do whatever it wants.

5. When you feel that your body has expressed itself as fully as it is able at this juncture, take out a sheet of paper and crayons (or paints) and let your hands inscribe how your body feels or what message it is giving. Your drawing doesn't have to be representative — it might just be marks or colours.

6. Sit back and look at what you have produced. What does it say to you? You might want to write down any thoughts which come to mind.

EVENING

Follow the bath and massage routine you did last night. As you bathe think about what you have learned about your body over the weekend. Which of its needs will you try to address in everyday life? Affirm that you will be kinder to your body from now on.

About the Author

Jane Alexander is well-trusted as an expert in natural medicine, holistic living and contemporary spirituality. Her aim is to simplify the often arcane concepts behind alternative health and spirituality and make them accessible and meaningful to everybody. She is the author of sixteen books on holistic living, including Spirit of the Home, Live Well (a western guide to ayurveda), The Detox Plan, The Five Minute Healer and The Weekend Healer. Her website was recently given 5 star top rating by The Good Web Guide who said "If she didn't exist, you'd have to invent her and the Mind Body Spirit movement probably owes her a great debt of gratitude..her books are all worth buying." Visit JaneAlexander.org and find out why.