Weekend Healer - essential home programmes to refresh body, mind and spirit (Gaia)

The Weekend Healer offers seventeen weekend programmes to indulge in at home. Each programme will help you get the most out of the weekend with advice on making time for yourself and ways to give yourself a boost. Experience the positive effects of a range of natural therapies and techniques for restoring body, mind and spirit.

• Pamper yourself with beauty and healthy weekends
• Cleanse your body with a detox weekend
• Discover new and positive things about yourself - explore your subconscious
• Get away from it all with a home retreat
• Celebrate the seasons with your own weekend rituals
• Shift your routine, clear your life - discover a new you.
• Delve into shamanism, the Qabalah and expand your spiritual awareness.

WEEKENDS

THE WEEKEND HEALER INTRODUCTION

Weekends are special. They are oases of calm in a hectic world, offering “time out” from work and everyday routine. They are times when we can do what we please and be who we want to be. Or so they should be. Too often we waste our weekends in a flurry of chores, in endless shopping trips or by flopping and “vegging” out in front of the television. Don't fall into the wasted weekend trap.

A weekend is just the perfect amount of time for a healing break: two whole days is time enough to make serious changes in your life; to set up a whole new pattern; to shift into an entire new way of living.

I hope my book, The Weekend Healer, has weekends for everybody. If you feel the need to give your body some attention you can spend a weekend making friends with your body (in the Awareness weekend) or gently detoxing your entire system. Lacking in energy? Try the Energizer weekend. Need some pampering? Go for the Beauty weekend.

In this section of the website, we'll give you some tasters from each section..

If it's your mind and emotions which need a workout, you could opt for one of the weekends in the Mind section – learning how to get in touch with your subconscious; or rethinking your life; or getting out of a rut. Everyone in a couple should try the Relationships Weekend at least once, if not regularly!

Our souls are often ignored in our busy lives and there are several weekends to redress the balance, teaching key concepts such as meditation, prayer, ritual and altar-making. If you've ever wondered about practices like shamanism or the Qabalah, there are also weekends to introduce the key elements of these systems and give you a taster.

The last section of the book gives ideas for celebrating the seasons. Our ancestors would have enjoyed a cycle of festivals and rituals to mark the changing year. Here you will find four weekends to tie in with the four major seasons of the year. They will help you attune to the shifting energy of the year and address the major issues each season brings.

One consideration: the dates given in this book apply to the Northern hemisphere (ie mid-winter falls in December, mid-summer in June). If you live in the Southern hemisphere, you will have to adapt the dates.

How To Prepare For Weekend Healing

Once you have chosen your weekend, you need to make preparations. The shopping list at the beginning of each weekend gives a rough list of the main things you will need. But spend some time reading through the weekend beforehand and figuring out precisely what you will need to make that weekend special.

Try as far as possible to get everything you need in before the weekend. Not just any special "props" but also basics like food and drink.

Do inform your family and friends what you are doing – and explain that you won't be able to rush off and do things in the usual way. If you're sharing your house maybe you could ask if other people would be willing to help out by giving you peace and quiet when you need it; by clearing up their mess so you don't have to do it; taking messages for you on the phone; leaving you the bathroom free for your evening bathing ritual – or whatever. If you live alone – or have planned your weekend so you will be alone (a great option) then you might consider putting the ansaphone on and a note on the door explaining you're busy.

Not all the weekends call for absolute solitude (a lot of them are actually very sociable!) but some (particularly the spiritual ones) do require peace and quiet. You really should not be disturbed in the middle of a shamanic journeying or a Qabalistic pathworking for example – so when you are doing rituals like these do make it clear that you MUST NOT be disturbed for the duration of the ritual. Coming very swiftly out of a deep journeying ritual can be very disturbing to the psyche and could result in a rotten headache or a feeling of general dis-ease. If you ARE jolted out, ask for five minutes to "recollect" yourself and sit quietly, breathing deeply. Apologise to any inner world beings you may have been with and swiftly bring yourself through the returning steps of the ritual. Make sure you stamp your feet and are fully grounded.

The suggestions for each weekend are just that – suggestions. Don't feel you have to follow them as a doctor's prescription! If you really dislike art, for example, and the weekend suggests you get out your paints, you have two options: either you decide that you might discover something interesting by working through your distaste and just go for it, or you pick something similar from another weekend (maybe some movement, or dialoguing).

Everything in this book is inherently safe. I have tried all the exercises myself and a lot are ones I use regularly. However, they ARE powerful and many of them work very deeply, both on the body and the psyche. If you have any physical health problems, conditions or concerns I would firmly advise you check with your physician before doing any of the exercises in this book. You will be able to relax more fully knowing that you can't be doing yourself any harm.

Every weekend (even the very physical body ones) will also work deeply on a psychological level. Don't be surprised if the exercises bring up old or unexpected emotions or memories. Sometimes you might find some of the emotions unsettling or downright uncomfortable. For the most part, I believe we only bring to conscious awareness those issues with which we are ready to deal. If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, stop doing the exercise and spend some time breathing deeply to calm yourself before returning to the work. If you feel the emotion is simply too much, stop the exercise altogether and make yourself a cup of tea and do something very ordinary such as watching the television or listening to the radio. When you feel calm, you might want to talk your experience over with a friend. You might also consider finding a qualified therapist to work with. I firmly believe that if an unpleasant emotion emerges, it is asking for attention. But if the emotion is very painful, do work with a professional.

I do hope you find these weekends inspiring and exciting. I hope they bring you fresh insights and new ways of looking at yourself, the people you know and the world around you. Above all, I hope you enjoy them and find them good fun. Happy weekending!

Welcome Summer Weekend: Friday Evening

Summer is sun-time, fun-time, the exuberant outdoor season of holidays and relaxation, fun and play – or so it should be! If your summer so far has continued to be a slog and the living “isn't easy” take this opportunity to celebrate the joy of summer. Traditionally this would be around the Summer Solstice (June 21st) but any summer weekend is a good enough excuse.

SHOPPING LIST

• paper and pens
• bright cloth for your altar, plus colourful candles and your choice of party gear, photographs etc.
• favourite childhood book and/or videos/toys
• picnic paraphernalia — your choice of food, drink, games, musical instruments etc.

FOOD GUIDELINES

As summer arrives you need to adapt your diet to deal with the hotter weather.

• your diet should revolve around lighter, cooler foods. This is one season of the year where you can generally eat cold food with impunity.
• Think about fresh salads with interesting dressings; fresh fish or chicken barbecued or pan-fried over an open fire. Vegetable kebabs and cous-cous.
• Make the most of summer fruits: eat them raw, chop them into salads, juice them into smoothies with live yogurt.
• Avoid salty and fatty foods — they will overload your system.
• Drink plenty of water. Keep alcohol to a minimum (it is heating to the body).

FRIDAY EVENING

Make a list of your very favourite people. Call them all up and tell them you love them and want to see them — and how about a big picnic on Sunday? Just do it — then you can't wimp out.

Spend the rest of the evening making your summer altar. This should be a joyous celebration of fun so think wild and unrestrained.

1. Choose a bright altar cloth — vivid pink (maybe sari fabric?) or red (the brighter the better) or something crazily patterned or a riot of colour.

2. Your candles can be every bright colour you like (but do include some red).

3. Add heaps of summer fruits and flowers — a profusion, a cornucopia of scents and colours. If you have access to the magical midsummer herbs of mugwort, vervain, St John's Wort and thyme add these too.

4. Add pictures of all your favourite people — and people you admire that you don't know who act as inspiration.

5. Put on some toys or cartoon figures — maybe party squeakers or balloons — anything that signifies life and joy to you.

6. Your altar probably won't need any additional scents — but if it's not fragrant enough burn some feelgood oils such as geranium or rose.

Saturday Morning, Afternoon Plan

SATURDAY

MORNING

As you have your breakfast, make a list of all the things you used to love doing as a child and teenager. Get in touch with your sense of fun and promise yourself you will do at least a couple of them over this weekend. This could involve:

• rereading a favourite childhood book
• watching a video of your favourite childhood movie/s or TV show/s. Curl up on the sofa with a bottle of pop and a bag of sweets (just this once!).
• Play mermaids or Action Man in the bath.
• Get out a kite and go flying — or throw basketballs, or skip rope, or see if you can still play jacks, or marbles. Play a game of ping-pong; try charades.
• Find a funfair and try all the rides and all the sideshows. Have a toffee apple or some candyfloss.
• Track down a pool with slides and wave machines and frolic.

Some of these ideas could be brilliant fun for your picnic tomorrow. If you feel you're just too strait-laced for these, take a child (or borrow a friend's).

AFTERNOON

Summer is a good time to look at your self-esteem and how good it is — or isn't! With high self esteem we can conquer the world, so it's worth spending some time on this exercise.

AUDITING YOUR LIFE

Sit down with a large pad and mark each page with a different category: your appearance and body image; your personality; your work; your home life; your relationships; how you react socially and intellectually; and your sexuality. Then on one side of the page make a list of all your positive points, your virtues and strengths. On the other side list your negative points, your bad habits, vices and weaknesses.

• Which list is longest and in which areas are the negatives clustered? You may have good self-esteem in many areas but have one or two areas which need attention.
• Are your criticisms realistic or precise? Work through the list replacing words like “stupid” with something more accurate, for eg, “I sometimes lack information” or “I get flustered in social situations.”
• Take particular notice of your good points, amplify them and feel good about these aspects of your life.

THE INNER CRITIC

Your inner critic is the interior voice that monitors your every move and either approves or disapproves. A part of our brain that has usually been programmed in the past, the critic often links you to early authority figures such as parents. Start to listen for the voice that tells you how stupid you are or what a failure you are or how ugly you are.

• Does it sound like anyone you know? Try to recognise the voice.
• Count the number of critical thoughts you have about yourself in a day and keep a thought diary for a while. At the end of the day, look at your list and work out the purpose behind each thought - was it goading you to do better or was it giving you an excuse for not doing as well as you might? Was it protecting you from something?
• Start getting angry with your inner critic and silently shout at it every times it starts to attack. “Shut up!” often works or simply recognise where the thought comes from - “this is just a lie my father told me”.

REMODEL SUCCESS

Make a list of your achievements in life - from learning to ride a bike or swimming a width to having a baby or getting a new job. Write down half a dozen achievements and think back to how they made you feel. How exactly did you feel the day you passed your driving test? When you got the letter saying you'd got the job? When they put your baby in your arms? Learn to recreate the feeling on demand and whenever you start to feel hopeless or useless bring back that feeling of achievement.

Saturday Evening Plan

Summer is the time to get in touch with both our body and emotions — and to look at how the two are entwined.

Spend some time this evening getting in touch with your body — many of us are completely out of touch. Do the movement and art exercise Try some dancing (see Spring weekend).

Do you have any particular aches and pains or problems with your body? Physical symptoms in your body may be early warnings - of something going wrong with our psychological wellbeing. Of course, there may be a simple physiological explanation - but it's worth pondering a deeper meaning. The following table offers suggestions to some common complaints. If yours isn't here, ask yourself what it might mean… your intuition may well have the answer.

Cold Hands/Feet

Suppression of feelings; afraid to break the rules; feel you don't deserve what you want

What frightens you? Can you work out what you want but feel you don't deserve? Think about it and talk about it.

Low Back Pain

You're overburdened; overwhelmed; overly responsible

Allow some fun back into your life. Delegate your responsibilities. Take Elm Bach flower remedy.

Stiff Neck

Someone is treating you unfairly; you're feeling irritable or upset by someone (or by your own behavior)

Who or what is a “pain in the neck” for you? Write a letter to that person - you don't have to send it. Have massage or osteopathy for short-term relief.

Blushing

You are frightened of what others will think. You are caught between what you want and what you think others require of you.

Acknowledge your fear - and your desires. Be candid about your concerns - explain why you blush (ie you're nervous of public speaking; you always blush when you meet new people).

Cystitis

Anger, resentment, disappointment

What makes you angry? Who makes you angry? Can you express your feelings - if not with words, then by writing a letter or painting a picture - or hitting a cushion.

Sore Throat

You're not saying what you feel or think.

Try to express your feelings. Singing or chanting can help - or try screaming or groaning. Consider assertiveness training - or take up a martial art.

Sunday Plan

Give the whole day over to a wonderful wild picnic for all your favourite people. Choose a good spot — it might be by the sea, or on the shore of a lake; or by a river bank (having water nearby is a great idea if that's possible.)

MORNING

Make your preparations. Everyone can join in (it's more fun that way). Choose all the kind of picnic party food you loved as a child (plus a little fragrant punch or the odd bottle of chilled white wine!). So think about little sandwiches and pies, and jellies — or you might decide to have a huge outdoor cookout — maybe a vast paella bubbling over a cookfire or fragrant Moroccan kebabs sizzling on a grill.

Pack plenty of sun cream and big hats (you might have a “theme” for your picnic such as Southern belles and gentlemen or Edwardian seaside; or Woodstock revisited or Teddy Bears picnic etc). Children love dressing up and adults often do too!

You might want some to add some props for games — balls, bats, nets (but also allow space for imagination). Also add in musical instruments (if you play them).

AFTERNOON

Once you've made your preparations allow your picnic to run itself. Just let people enjoy themselves and relax. Remember it doesn't have to be perfect — the perfection comes from the mix of the right people! Be prepared for some conflicts — summer is a time of heightened emotion and at pagan ceremonies it's traditional to have mock battles and fights at this time of year. Maybe work in some physical competitive games (competition isn't always bad!) such as tug-of-war or split people into teams and send them on a treasure hunt (perhaps having to find a natural object for every letter of the alphabet). Take it in turns to look after children so you all get a rest.

EVENING

If you haven't had a fire through the day think about one as evening draws in. Make sure it's safe and that you aren't disturbing the environment (you can dig out a pit and save the turves for replacing — or build on a beach). Obviously if you live in an area where forest fires are a danger, skip this part.

Sit around the fire as the evening draws in and take it in turns to tell stories or sing songs. Let children (and adults) show off — summer is a good time for that. Remind each other why you like each other — talk about happy memories and shared times. Remember people who can't be with you.

Retreat Weekend

Sometimes you just need to get away from it all, to go within and re-connect with your essential self. But there's no need to spend loads of money or travel hundreds of miles to a special retreat - just turn your own home into a weekend sanctuary. There is no rigid prescription for a retreat weekend - the following are just some suggestions. Listen to your inner voice and follow your intuition - you won't go far wrong.

SHOPPING LIST

• candles, your favourite essential oils, incense
• inspirational books and music (if desired)
• comfortable clothes
• paper, paints, journal, pen
• food - see box

FRIDAY EVENING:

Wind down and make your preparations:

• arrange to be by yourself - or agree with your family to allow you uninterrupted peace - and seclusion.
• warn friends and family that you won't be available for calls or visits. Put a “do not disturb” message on your ansaphone - and your door!
• make sure you have everything you need for the weekend - so you don't need to disturb your tranquillity.
• try to clear your space of clutter - see the Re-arranging Weekend for tips.

PREPARE YOUR SANCTUARY

Choose one room in which you will spend most of your indoor time. Make sure it is comfortable and relaxing. You may want to do the following:

• Clean your space - using natural cleansers. Adding a few drops of essential oils can make your room smell delicious and will also affect your mood.
• Take out everything distracting - you don't want to surround yourself with things that remind you of everyday life. If possible remove the television, radio, computer, work files.
• Make your space comfortable. Have plenty of cushions and a rug for floorwork. Maybe a yoga mat or a meditation stool. A comfortable chair.
• Think about whether you want silence or would like some well-chosen music. Have the necessary tapes or CDs to hand.
• Pick out a few inspirational books - see further reading for some ideas.
• Candles provide soft light and introduce the element of fire. Pick your favourite aromatherapy oils to burn or choose incense you like. Surround yourself by images and objects which inspire you.

SUPPER

Eat a light, nourishing, soothing supper. See the box for ideas. Make your mealtimes mindful: say a form of grace in thanks for your food. Be aware of each mouthful of food. It is usually a good idea to eat in silence, concentrating on your food - don't distract yourself with a book or music.

CHOOSE YOUR PURPOSE

After supper, sit down in your sanctuary and mull over what you want from this weekend. Affirm to yourself that this is time for YOU - that it is a sacred time, devoted to your inner wellbeing. You may wish to light a candle and quietly focus on your intention.

Ask yourself:

• what do I most need in my life right now?
• what does retreating mean to me?
• what do I fear about going on retreat?
• what do I most hope for on this retreat?
• what questions should I ask myself on this retreat?

BOX: FOOD FOR RETREATS

When you're on retreat you need food which is comforting and nourishing - but above all balanced (not too soporific but not too stimulating). The easiest way to do this is to follow macrobiotic guidelines. In simple terms this involves choosing your foods from this list:

• whole grains
• beans and pulses
• vegetables and fruits, including seaweeds such as dulse, wakame etc
• seeds and nuts
• tofu, tempeh and miso

Make your choices simple (you don't want to spend ages in preparation and cooking). These are good choices:

• soups
• rice and steamed vegetables
• salads with added nuts and seeds if it's warm
• vegetable stews and casseroles if it's cold
• fruit salads and fruit and vegetable juices

Painting Your Inner Self

There is no fixed routine for this weekend. You must do as your spirit guides you. However you might find these guidelines helpful:

• Although many people see fasting as synonymous with retreating, it's a good idea to eat three healthy meals a day (see box) - modern retreats are not hair-shirts and if you're hungry it's tough to concentrate on anything other than food.
• Early to bed, early to rise is a good maxim to follow on retreat.
• You may wish to incorporate some meditation or quiet contemplation into your day.
• Likewise, this is a good opportunity to practice breathing, yoga, chi kung or tai chi (dip into other weekends for exercises and routines).
• If you have issues you want to explore you may find using painting useful (see the following page) - but equally you might investigate writing, chanting or dance.
• Make a note of any random thoughts, images, dreams you have in your journal.
• Try to spend at least some time out in nature - either quietly walking, meditating, practicing yoga or just sitting and observing.
• Don't be too busy!

About the Author

Jane Alexander is well-trusted as an expert in natural medicine, holistic living and contemporary spirituality. Her aim is to simplify the often arcane concepts behind alternative health and spirituality and make them accessible and meaningful to everybody. She is the author of sixteen books on holistic living, including Spirit of the Home, Live Well (a western guide to ayurveda), The Detox Plan, The Five Minute Healer and The Weekend Healer. Her website was recently given 5 star top rating by The Good Web Guide who said "If she didn't exist, you'd have to invent her and the Mind Body Spirit movement probably owes her a great debt of gratitude..her books are all worth buying." Visit JaneAlexander.org and find out why.