Simple Joys : Part 2

by Leslie Karen Lobell, M.A.

(Page 2 of 2)

It is not the circumstances surrounding you, but your attitude, that is the key to freeing yourself and allowing joy into your daily life. To illustrate this, let me use the example of an Easter basket, to show how one's attitude may affect one's experience... It was the first Easter Sunday of the millennium -- also, my first Easter on Providenciales in the Turks & Caicos Islands, and the first since I began my current relationship. After my morning meditation, I came out to the kitchen. My partner had just returned from having coffee with a friend. A basket had mysteriously appeared on the kitchen counter; its contents included a Tobler Chocolate Orange, Lindt Lindor Truffles, Ferrero Rochers, and a note to me from the Easter Bunny. I was amazed. This was a very observant Easter Bunny! These were the exact brands and flavors of all the chocolates I had been eyeing, but not buying, over the past several months. I knew that my partner had clued the Easter Bunny in on what to buy for me, but I couldn't figure out how he knew, either, since I had not actually purchased any chocolate since the beginning of our relationship. I was touched by his awareness and his thoughtfulness; I felt really loved and cared for.

Now let's see how another individual might react to this gift. Suppose I could give this experience to someone else: someone who had not cultivated an "attitude of gratitude," someone non-appreciative of the simple joys. Suppose this Easter basket arrived in the home of another woman -- one who was caught up in the pursuit of the things that the "sorrowful lad" in our song possessed: wealth, name, fame, and "all of that noise." How might she react to receiving this basket? Would she feel a sense of gratitude? No! She probably would feel horribly upset - maybe even really pissed off! Instead of appreciating what did show up, she would be focused on something she felt was missing. She would be wondering what was wrong: Why had her partner failed to get her a new diamond ring, a Cartier watch, a fur coat, or tickets for a cruise around the world? She would look at her partner with disdain, feeling enraged that he had the nerve to just buy her chocolates. She would get into a foul mood that would probably prevent her from enjoying the rest of the day.

This woman would completely miss the best part of it all... For the sweetest thing about my Easter basket was not the chocolate inside (even given the fact that my favorite brands were there). The sweetest part was the realization it brought to me: that someone really paid attention over time, noticed the little things that bring me pleasure, and cared enough to give me something that would say, between the lines, "You are special to me." That Easter basket probably said more to me than a diamond ring or a Cartier watch would say to the woman in this example. Not that I, personally, would begrudge a more "glamorous" gift: learning to appreciate the little things certainly does not prevent you from appreciating the "big things," as well. However, I think it would feel empty, to me, if I received something glamorous from someone who donned me with large gifts on special occasions, but expressed little or no caring, on a day-to-day basis, the rest of the year.

As I said before, attitude is the key. Coming to feel a sense of gratitude for the simple joys of life will affect you, in a positive way, on a daily basis. Remember the words of wisdom from Dan Millman: "There are no ordinary moments." If you learn to notice and appreciate the "little things," every moment can begin to feel extraordinary and magical. If you cultivate an attitude of gratitude, you will start to experience so much more joy in your everyday life. If you are in a relationship, you will have a much greater chance of feeling fulfilled: you are more likely to create intimacy by paying attention to the little things that please your partner, and you are more likely to notice and appreciate the little things your partner does to please you. In life in general, you will begin to feel more free, more happy, and more at peace. As the song says, without simple joys, life can seem "purposeless and flat." Aren't you glad that you don't need to feel like that?

About the Author

The Art of Loving