My boss is is cheating on his wife with a co-worker

by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D

Dear Dr. Ellen: I read your advice columns every week and there are two things that have stayed with me in particular. You wrote about someone who was cheating on his wife with a co-worker and a friend of the family felt obligated to tell his children? I admired your strong words about how you cannot help what you feel, but you CAN help what you do about it. Well, my boss, a man who I respected and whose marriage I envied, is cheating on his wife with a co-worker here. His wife is a lovely woman and I hate sitting by watching this going on behind her back. I know from little things she has said that she is a little suspicious of her husband's actions lately. I have been in a relationship myself where I was cheated on. The suspicion drove me absolutely crazy. I started acting irrationally. In fact, I am married now and seeing a therapist with my husband seeking help for my trust issues with men. I feel for this woman and every time she calls here looking for her husband I am tempted to tell her. I have been giving the two of them the "cold shoulder" because their actions make me sick. They know that I am aware of what's going on, have known for several months. Yet my boss continues to look me straight in the eye and lie about his whereabouts, as though he needs to give me an explanation. This is really eating at me. Dr. Ellen, should I just keep my mouth shut or is there some way, for the sake of women everywhere, that I can let his wife know that the man she is living with every day is being unfaithful?

Dear June: No amount of money is worth you being "eaten up" and feeling sick every single day. Life is too short to keep yourself in this type of environment. If I were you, I would find another job. That's where all your energy should go. As for telling his wife, she probably already knows but needs her own proof in her own time. Believe me, if he's spending time with another woman, he is not spending time with his wife and she is keenly aware of that. He is cheating her out of the relationship she deserves. I don't think you should be the one who speeds up the process for her. I also don't think you should be put in a position to lie about his whereabouts. When you really think about it, you know what is going on and you have chosen to stay. I'm sure you would advise this woman to leave the relationship when there is probably so much more at stake for her than just a job. The message for women everywhere is not to stay with a man who lies and cheats whether it is on a professional or personal basis. Let that message begin with YOU. Think how great it would feel to get another job and when your boss asks you "Why?" you say, "Because I can no longer work in a place where the people I work with have no values and morals"! - Dr. Ellen

About the Author

www.lightyourfire.com
For the past 20 years, Dr. Ellen has educated, motivated, and inspired thousands of men and women on how to put fun, romance, excitement and communication in their relationships. Through humor and personal experiences, she is able to captivate and relate to any type of audience, the dynamics of building a solid foundation for a more rewarding life. Through her audio cassettes, CD's, seminars, videos and books she has been teaching and communicating her message to men and women of all ages throughout the world. All of her efforts are designed to work together to achieve one ultimate goal: strengthen the fun, love and communication between two people. She has been happily married for 34 years, has three grown children and two grandchildren. www.lightyourfire.com