Kissing

by Peta Heskell

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous". Ingrid Bergman

Curious as to how this smoochy stuff got started I wasn't surprised to find that it was the French who first adopted kissing as a love signal in the 6th century. Apparently, figure dancing was all the rage and the end of each dance was sealed with a kiss.

Over the centuries, kissing has provided endless material for artists as well as the record books. It has been celebrated in songs too countless to mention and Rodin hewed a lump of stone into that famous erotic statue 'The Kiss'. For many the most memorable photographic kiss is that of a sailor planting one on the lips of a girl during the Times Square celebrations in 1945.

The longest kiss on film was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 movie 'You're in the Army now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. A mere blip in time compared to the 130 hours and 2 minutes notched up by Bobbi Sherlock and Ray Blazine during a marathon kissathon in 1978.

But kissing isn't just the preserve of lovers. Kissing has been a ritual greeting and a sign of reverence for centuries. A kiss from the Russian Tsar was considered the ultimate form of respect. One Roman emperor designated special kiss spots according to social rank. Nobles were allowed a lip-to-lip embrace, less important visitors got to brush his hands with their lips and the lowly leftovers had to bend and kiss his feet.

First Aiders perform the kiss of life and Mafia Dons bestow the kiss of death. People kiss their pets and pictures of their loved ones. Mother's kiss their children and, as Kirk and Michael have shown fathers sometimes even kiss their sons. My boyfriend's father always greets me with a soft kiss on the lips, which leads me to believe that sensual kissing might be hereditary! And humans aren't the only recipients of kisses. The Pope's ring and the Blarney stone have come in for their fair share of lip action.

Cheek kissing is a natural form of greeting between heterosexual Arab and Mediterranean men. The Brits and Scots are barely comfortable with the kiss as a general greeting and often are unsure as to whether men should do it to men or how many kisses are acceptable. Other cultures have well-defined kissing protocols. The French give one on either side of the cheek whilst the Dutch demand three. Lipstick-laden Hollywood stars and ladies who lunch have perfected the art of kissing the air beside the cheek as they mutter 'mwoah mwoah'.

Most of us can remember our first 'romantic' kiss. Mine occurred during a game of postman's knock where I was unlucky enough to 'win' twice. Andrew screwed up his nose, pursed his mouth and attacked my lips like a mosquito on heat in what must have been the shortest recorded kiss of all times. Barry on the other hand opted for a hard-lipped full gag inducing tongue down the throat kiss, which made me wonder if I'd ever get to breathe air again. Both are memorable for their awfulness.

Romantic kissing might be second nature to some but not everyone is a natural kisser. Sadly in my youth the likes of Barry and Andrew didn't have access to the plethora of 'how to kiss' material now available on the internet.

According to one site devoted to the art of kissing, clean breath, moist lips, open mouth and closed eyes are vital ingredients of a successful smooch. As well as a 16-step guide to kissing, the site offers advice on French kissing, surprise kissing, marathon kissing, boiled-sweet kissing, vacuum kissing and a whole lot more that wouldn't be suitable to mention in this publication!

When I meet a man who knows how to kiss, I'm putty in his hands. Ladies, when you find a man for whom kissing is not a must-do prelude to but a major part of making love; hang on to him, especially if he continues to kiss afterwards! Chaps, take note. Learn to kiss like this and your chances of a nag-free Saturday at the match or a night out with the boys will dramatically improve.

About the Author

Peta Heskell is the Director of the Flirting Academy which runs classes