1. Trust vs. Mistrust

(typically emerges between birth and age one)

The first issue we confront in life is the need to establish a basic sense of trust, or confidence that the world is a safe place for us. If our parents are consistent caregivers, providing food, support, and protection, we resolve this issue successfully and believe that we can rely on other people to care for us in times of trouble. We are confident that the world is a benevolent place, and as we go through our day-to-day lives, we are generally in a good mood.

Jane, for example, is the president of a student theater troupe at a prestigious high school. Whether she's speaking about her husband's recent interest in Eastern religions or her students' efforts to learn a difficult play, she's full of wonder and good humor. She sincerely believes her mentoring can help the kids she works with, and always sees the best in them. Throughout her life, her personality has benefited from the solid foundation she has in her sense of trust, a strength that has allowed her to maintain faith in herself and hope for others.

The people you know who are low in the quality of trust have a fundamental sense of cynicism, and instead of looking on the bright side, they expect the worst of people. They try to take advantage of others because they believe that if they don't, others will take advantage of them first.

One of Jane's classmates, Bob, was such a person. In fact, he was the polar opposite of Jane, starting out in his college days as just about as low on trust as you could possibly be. He gradually dug himself out of this hole, but his early personality deficits continued to plague him. His choice of profession as a divorce lawyer probably fit well with this personality profile, since many of his dealings would by definition be contentious and bitter. Now he is full of regret about how he has conducted his life, but with such a deficient beginning, it is hard to imagine how it could have been otherwise.

We will look at people who span the full range on trust, from the Janes to the Bobs. We'll see how trust served as the bedrock of personality and how people high in this quality throughout life managed to buffer themselves from some of the most unimaginably painful life events. We will also see how it's possible for people even as badly off as Bob was to reclaim their lives and reach fulfillment.

2. Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

(typically emerges in toddlerhood)

Next in the sequence of building blocks is the feeling that you can trust yourself, a feeling that comes with independence. According to Erikson, if you are able to trust your instincts, you can express yourself spontaneously without running the risk of embarrassing yourself or feeling ashamed. During the "terrible twos," children want to do things on their own, and to do so they need to feel free from self-doubt. Toddlers who can choose their food and toys and learn to control their bodily functions are rewarded with a sense of independence and confidence. Adults who have resolved this period of personality development in a positive manner feel that they are in command of their destiny. They are self-confident and don't frequently question whether what they are doing is right. One of my best examples of this quality is Rita, whose strong autonomy streak in college seemed to prepare her for a lifetime of leadership. A Ph.D. in computer science, she retired early from what was a successful professional career. Over a period of years, she had become increasingly concerned about environmental issues in her hometown. Instead of sitting back and just criticizing her local politicians, however, Rita took action. After her retirement, she joined a citizen's group and eventually became its chair, speaking out forcefully so she could effect as much change as possible.

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Copyright © 2009 by Susan Krauss Whitbourne.

Tags: Happiness

About the Author

Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a pioneer in the study of adult development and has been leading the field for more than thirty years. She received her doctorate in psychology from Columbia University and is currently a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Whitbourne has been interviewed and cited in numerous articles in publications including The New York Times, Newsweek, Redbook and Glamour. A licensed psychologist, she lives with her husband in Amherst, Massachusetts. More