Figure out how your dating personality is sabotaging your relationships - and become the type of woman you were meant to be!

Are you one of the many confident, attractive, and successful women who often end up in unsuccessful relationships? Do you find yourself behaving in your relationships in ways that don't accurately reflect who you really are? Do any of these women sound like you?

• Ms. Second Place: She allows herself to be a low priority in a man's life.

• Ms. Sex Machine: She settles for physical intimacy when she really wants an emotional connection.

• Ms. Soul Mate: She so wants to be in love that she mistakes every date for "the one."

• Ms. Drama Queen: She only dates bad boys and unavailable men.

• Ms. Mom: She makes it a priority to fix her man's life instead of her own.

• Ms. Anaconda: She's so needy, she suffocates every man she dates.

• Ms. Independent: She's been hurt before and won't let her guard down.

If you recognize yourself in any of these types, don't be discouraged. In Ms. Typed, you'll learn how to be the woman and partner you're meant to be - through uplifting stories from other women, and a "Ms. Typed Makeover" that leads you step-by-step through the process. Dr. Michelle's smart advice is sure to give you a fresh outlook on dating and guide you toward loving, fulfilling relationships.

Have you ever caught yourself doing crazy things in a relationship and wondered, What is wrong with me, and why am I acting like this? Have you looked back at how you behaved in a past relationship and asked yourself, Who was that woman, and how did I become her? When riding the relationship roller coaster, sometimes we find ourselves acting out of character and doing things that we aren't proud of. The crazier things get in your relationship, and the longer they stay that way, the greater the likelihood that your unusual behavior will become a habit rather than an exception to the rule. And before you know it, you seem to have become someone new whom you don't recognize and whom you don't want to be but can't seem to get rid of.

Maybe you used to be confident in relationships, but then you started feeling insecure, and now you need more reassurance that everything is going to be okay. Perhaps you used to date more often, but now you feel you have to dress sexier or have sex sooner than you'd like in order to hold a man's attention. Was dating and being single fun, until one day you couldn't stop worrying about when you are going to meet Mr. Right, get married, and have some kids? Were you once comfortable with your boyfriend hanging out without you, hut now you worry about where he is, who he's with, and if he's cheating? In the past were you able to find men who you felt were worthy of your time, but now you feel like you're settling? There are so many ways in which we find ourselves moving away from feeling self-assured and smart in relationships to feeling vulnerable and desperate. Where did this version of you come from? Where is the real you, and how do we get her out on a date?

We all have a dating type or personality that explains how we typically behave in dating relationships. But what if you had so many bad dates and disappointing relationships that it started to have a lasting effect on you? And instead of being the vibrant person you are meant to be, you've become jaded, cynical, jealous, fearful, desperate, resentful, or distrustful. When those changes start to affect your personality, you become Ms. Typed.

Ms. Typed is a woman who has taken on behaviors and personality traits that don't reflect who she wants or is des-tined to be. When it comes to dating, she is believed to have a less than desirable dating personality, but that personality isn't the real her. It's just who she has allowed herself to become as a result of her negative experiences and circumstances.

Because she is behaving out of character, she gets mistyped, both in her own mind and by the men she dates. Both she and her dates think she's someone else, because her real dating personality is hidden deep inside, and her true greatness doesn't always shine through.

We all go through experiences that shape who we are, and sometimes as a result of those experiences, we develop negative or counterproductive thoughts and behaviors that sabotage our love lives. Instead of eventually getting ourselves back on track, we sometimes have dating experiences that are dominated by that negativity, and our real personalities get lost. We start to believe that we are that "other" person, and our dates meet Ms. Typed instead of that awesome person stuck living in her shadow.

It isn't your destiny to be a drama queen, a booty call, a mistress, or a stalker, but under certain circumstances you may have allowed yourself to become one or all of them. As a result, you may have lost sight of your true self, which caused you to behave in ways that are out of character for you. The longer you acted that way the more it became a regular part of your behavior and personality and before you knew it you started acting like someone else. But what if you were mistyped? What if, instead of finding your way back to your old confident self, you stayed out of character? If you are Ms. Typed, you have taken on a dating personality that is probably more of a coping mechanism than a choice.

© 2009 by Michelle R. Callahan, Ph.D.

Tags: Dating For Women

About the Author

Michelle R. Callahan, Ph.D. is a relationship expert, dating coach, developmental psychologist, and national media favorite. She has appeared on Oprah, the Today show, The Tyra Banks Show, America's Next Top Model, and as the resident psychologist and judge in the hit reality show Queen Bees.