Believe in Yourself : Part 2

Winning Nice: How to Succeed in Business and Life Without Waging War
By Dawna Stone, Matt Dieter

(Page 2 of 6)

Whatever it is you hope to accomplish - a faster mile, a better job, a successful marriage, financial security, or better health - the one thing that can most impact your success is your perception.

As children most of us believe that anything is possible, but as we make our way in the world, we frequently lose this positive outlook and fearlessness. Recapturing that exuberance of youth will enable you to achieve your dreams. I believe that all my successes as a businesswoman, athlete, sister, wife, and friend would not have been possible without the ability to see the glass as half full.

Start With You

Rudy Garcia-Tolson and his parents faced a tough decision. After fifteen operations to help correct a variety of birth defects, including pterygium syndrome, which prevented him from straightening his legs, doctors gave him two options. He could spend his life in a wheelchair or have his legs amputated above the knee and be fitted with prosthetics. "Cut 'em off. I want to be like other kids," said five-year-old Rudy. He quickly adapted to his new situation, throwing himself into swimming and running. At age eight he predicted he would win a gold medal in the Paralympic Games. In 2004 he kept his word, setting a world record in the process. According to Rudy, "People need to realize that if I can do all kinds of sports with no legs, they can do it too. People just need to remember that a brave heart is a powerful weapon. Don't just sit there; get out and do something special. Believe in yourself."

Norman Vincent Peale, the author of the classic The Power of Positive Thinking, says, "Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." It's important to believe in yourself and to never let anyone else tell you that you can't achieve your goals.

At sixteen years old I was competing at the state high school swimming championships, a race I had essentially been training for since I was five, but specifically for months prior to that day. I was feeling really good about my chances and myself; I was nervous but ready to perform. Just as I was about to step onto the starting blocks, I overheard a timer say, "She's way too small. There's no way she can compete with these other swimmers."

My nickname on the swim team was "Bones," so you can imagine that I wasn't the most intimidating figure in the race. At just under five feet tall and seventy pounds, I looked as if I had just come off an elementary school playground. Hearing what the timer had said, I turned toward the woman and smiled. Not once did it cross my mind that she could actually be right.

The starting gun went off, and I swam the race of my life. I not only won, I set a personal best and a school record. I pulled myself out of the pool with a huge smile on my face and stopped in front of the timer and said to her, "Anything is possible."

Sallie Krawcheck, the head of Citigroup's wealth management business and number six on the Forbes list of the world's most powerful women, relates a similar tale: "When I was a kid, I was 'that kid' - freckles, braces, and very unfortunate glasses. If I wasn't the last chosen for a team, I was the second to last . . . The teasing was really tough. I wasn't just crying in class; I was falling apart in school. My grades went from As to Cs.

"One day when I was really down, my mom sat me on the sofa. She spoke to me as though she was speaking to another adult, telling me to stop paying attention to the girls who were teasing me. She told me that they were naysayers who would sit on the sidelines and criticize those who were out there trying. She said that the reason they were doing it was because they were jealous. Looking back, I know they weren't really jealous, but, at the time, I believed my mom. My grades went back up, and I never let the naysayers bother me again."

There will always be those who doubt you, so the first person who needs to believe fully in you . . . is you. You are the only one who truly knows what you are capable of. And chances are, it is far more than you think.

Following his early career on Broadway and London stages, Fred Astaire went to an RKO Pictures screen test. According to Hollywood lore the judgment was short and sweet: "Can't act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little." According to the producer who ultimately signed Astaire, the test was "wretched." But Astaire believed he was a talented dancer and was not going to let the opinions of a few Hollywood executives stand in his way. He went on to be recognized as the fifth-greatest male star of all time by the American Film Institute.

One of the biggest obstacles I've faced was getting Her Sports + Fitness off the ground. I had no publishing experience, a three-person staff (one of whom was me), and a minuscule budget. How, I wondered night after night, could I take my limited resources and turn them into a successful national magazine in a market flooded with titles aimed at women readers?

To compound the matter, a very long line of industry experts urged me to give up my magazine dream. These experts cited the staggering statistics of publishing failure rates, even among experienced publishers.It was pointed out that two multibillion-dollar firms had failed with similar publications. The experts felt sure that top advertisers would never dedicate budget dollars to an independent title with a small circulation.

Potential investors argued that because typical consumer magazines had a launch budget of tens of millions of dollars (and still often failed), we couldn't possibly succeed with only a few-hundred-thousand-dollar investment. Additionally, they noted that magazines typically take three to five years to become strong enough to show a profit, if a profit is ever reached.

One meeting I remember clearly was with George Hirsch, the founder of Rodale's Runner's World magazine. George is a pioneer in the health and fitness publishing industry and had grown Runner's World into a very successful business. I was thrilled to meet with someone with such a long and successful publishing career, and George was kind enough to listen to my plans. I liked him immediately. He seemed genuinely interested in my ideas. But although George gave me some great advice on how to launch a magazine as well as manage distribution, circulation, and advertising, in the end his advice was not to move forward. He went so far as to say I'd be crazy to think I could launch a successful national, independent sports and fitness magazine.

Was I crazy to disregard his and other experts' advice? Was I pursuing a dream so lofty and out of reach that success was impossible? Why in the world, you might ask, did I continue pursuing my dream in the face of all that discouraging feedback? Well, not only because I'm not one to give up, but because I felt passionately that women needed a magazine like Her Sports + Fitness, one that celebrated real women with real lives being active and improving their health and fitness. Plus, I knew I had three key things working in my favor.

Copyright © 2007 by Dawna Stone and Matt Dieter

About the Author

Dawna Stone is a highly successful entreprenuer who has a wealth of corporate experience as an investment banker, management consultant, company president, and senior executive at a publicly traded company. Her business skills as well as her calm, professional demeanor enabled her to win THE APPRENTICE: MARTHA STEWART. Dawna is an inspiration to thousands of women through her magazine, HER SPORTS + FITNESS, and her motivational talks. Still an avid athlete, Dawna regularly competes in sprint and Olympic distance triathlons and has finished the grueling Hawaii Ironman World Championship. She lives in St. Petersburg, Florida where she continues to live her dreams with husband Matt and two dogs Buffett and Valkyrie.