Ambushed and Assaulted: Coping with the Unexpected : Part 4

Turn Your Life Around: Break Free from Your Past to a New and Better You
by Dr. Tim Clinton

(Page 4 of 4)

What's Headed Your Way

Several years ago, Dr. Larry Crabb, a friend and mentor, shared with me, "Tim, you're a good man, but I feel you have an undernourished soul primarily because you haven't had much suffering." Then suddenly, devastating times hit - the circumstances of life ambushed me at the pass, and I faced the potential for loss of heart!

You have an undernourished soul primarily because you haven't had much suffering.

No, Larry didn't curse me, he blessed me. How many of us get such a clear warning from such a trusted and loving source about an impending ambush? To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Jesus Himself warned us: "In this world you will have many trials and sorrows" (John 16:33 NLT). You know this. You know that persecution and tribulations come wrapped in all kinds of packages: loss, health problems, financial upsets, physical problems.

What happens during this ambush and assault stage is the making of us. It deeply impacts how we do life - and especially how we do relationship and intimacy with God and those we love. The enemy of your soul loves to be the silent donor to your misery. He fervently hopes for your demise.

Some armchair critics urge me to lay aside all of this talk about suffering and "just talk about getting beyond the past." I understand that, but a flood of pop psychologists and feel-good preachers will give you that information every day.

It is not enough. I want to help people win in real life. Temporary mental bandages and emotional pick-me-ups aren't enough - I want to show the Bible way to overcome the pain and sorrows we face.

Temporary mental bandages and emotional pick-me-ups aren't enough!

Long-Held Pain

I've closely examined the way Joseph, in the Old Testament, handled suffering. Many years after his brothers' brutal betrayal, he finally met up with them again in Egypt. The Bible tells us the pain Joseph released in that moment was so overwhelming and explosive that the entire house of the Egyptians heard his cries (Gen. 45:2).

After all those years had passed, and after achieving such prestige, power, and wealth - Joseph ranked second only to Pharaoh in one of the most powerful empires on earth - his brothers' rejection still hurt him deep inside. Why? Because that is the nature of pain.

What deep pain are you carrying? Do you want to learn how to succeed when the road gets long, overwhelming, and discouraging? Do you want to overcome what is now overcoming you? You can survive and overcome even when you begin to lose heart and question your call. God's power and undying love for you are at work even while you question who God is in your life!

Everybody will go through periods of disaffection or brokenness. But that is not what makes you as a man or woman. What makes you is what you do with what's been dished out to you. The sad truth is that most suffering has to do with our being flooded by things that just aren't right. Do you feel alone and in despair? I think God literally weeps with us during our broken times and declares to the cosmos, "It's enough." Have you ever sensed that?

What makes you is what you do with what's been dished out to you.

But God is for you. The truth is that the evil one will hate you no matter what you do, but he will also fear you if you have surrendered your life to God. For that reason, it is no surprise that you are experiencing hellish assault.

Satan will fear you if you have surrendered your life to God.

Jesus warned about the dangers of love lost. He said, "And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved" (Matt. 24:12-13). Why? Because the days are evil.

When life hammers you, you end up feeling empty and exhausted. Yet, because you were made for a heart full of hope and expectation, you cry out to God. You're hurt. You were expecting something else.

Just understand that when you get assaulted and ambushed in life, it naturally leads to what psychologists and counselors call "a double-A response." Your body kicks into a flight-or-flight response when you are frightened or threatened. When you get ambushed or assaulted, you get angry and/or anxious.

It is natural to respond to an ambush with anger or anxiety. It is supernatural to go beyond the response and grow even stronger in the process. Unfortunately, the path usually spirals downward from one double-A response to the next. In most cases, the next destinations on this descent into pain are the homes of anger and anxiety. We'll look at those emotions in the next two chapters.

Questions for Discussion and Reflection

1. Describe one or two dreams that remain unfulfilled or broken in your life.

2. Describe two current stressors that are tearing at your heart. Which is the most severe?

3. Draw a simple circle in your mind's eye and put yourself and your spouse in the middle of it. Now describe what stresses you have been up against. What competes for your affection for each other?

4. What is competing for your spiritual affection? What has been stealing that joy?

5. Consider whether the source of your stresses is one of these:

• Circumstances and people beyond your control.
• Your enemies - those who hate you.
• Your own sins and failures.
• The devil, to defeat and kill you.
• Or God, to refine you by fire and cause spiritual growth in your life.

What are the consequences in your thoughts, feelings, and behavior?

6. Has stress and suffering led you to draw closer to God or to pull away from Him? Do you feel confused about who God is and how He feels about you?

7. Has fighting the stressors of modern living leeched away your love of others? Has it drained away your compassion and care for those you normally love and care for?

Action Point: If you have been ambushed by life and are in deep pain, don't stop calling out to God and asking for His help. Today, tell Him all that you feel - including the disappointment and/or anger, hurt, despair. Ask for His aid in understanding and coping with your distress. Then listen for His answers. Stop the downward spiral right here.

Copyright © 2006 by Dr. Tim Clinton

About the Author

Dr. Tim Clinton is president of the American Association of Christian Counselors and publisher of the award-winning Christian Counseling Today magazine. He serves as professor of counseling and pastoral care and executive director of the Liberty University Center for Counseling and Family Studies and was recently a distinguished visiting professor for the Regent University School of Psychology and Counseling. He and his wife, Julie, have two children and live in Forest, Virginia.