Weight Loss - Acknowledge Your Support Team

Winning After Losing: Keep Off the Weight You've Lost - Forever
by Stacey Halprin

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In addition to celebrating yourself, this is the perfect time to appreciate and celebrate all the people who have helped you make it to this point. Make a list of everyone, from your partner to your friends, kids, coworkers, neighbors, relatives, and pets, who has played a part in your success. Thank each of them for their contribution to your personal growth and weight loss. In some cases you'll be thanking them for what they did and in other cases you'll be thanking them for what they didn't do. "Thank you for taking care of the kids so I could go to the gym." "Thank you for not bringing home potato chips or ice cream!" You'll probably find that many of the people who supported you while you were losing weight will also be willing to play a supportive role in your weight maintenance. The maintenance battle is rarely won alone, so welcome the people who love you to help you to keep winning. (In chapter 3, you'll have a chance to recruit your Winning Team.)

Aside from the people in your daily life, you might also want to participate in some online discussion groups or chat rooms for people who are losing or who have lost weight. Sometimes it's easier to share what you're thinking and how you're feeling with people who don't know you. There's something to be said for being anonymous!

Before and After

As a starting point to seeing the similarities and differences between the old and the new you, Dr. Jane Greer suggests that you answer the following questions to give you a snapshot image of who you were and who you are now. She says, "Relax and let whatever thoughts pop into your mind guide you to your answers. Usually the first thing that crosses your mind points you in the right direction."

The Old Me

I used to see myself as:
Most of all I wanted to be:
More than anything, I wanted to be able to:
Every day I hoped:
If I had one wish it would have been:
My favorite dream for my future was:

The New Me

Now I see myself as:
Most of all I want to be:
More than anything, I want to be able to:
Today I hope:
Now I wish:
My favorite dream for my future is:

Your own answers to those questions are the only ones that matter, but I'm sharing Marlene's answers to give you an example of how to do the exercise. Marlene has been in the Winners' Circle for three years.

The Old Me

I used to see myself as: shy and unsociable
Most of all I wanted to be: liked and accepted
More than anything, I wanted to be able to: feel good about myself
Every day I hoped: something would happen to give me the strength to lose weight
If I had one wish it would have been: to be thin
My favorite dream for my future was: going to my twenty-year class reunion as a size 6

The New Me

Now I see myself as: confident and friendly
Most of all I want to be: healthy, mentally and physically
More than anything, I want to be able to: reach the career goals I set for myself
Today I hope: I live long enough to do all the things I want to do
Now I wish: I could help everyone who is overweight to experience the freedom and natural high of being in good shape and in control
My favorite dream for my future is: to keep living every day as if it's my first and my last!

Shedding the Invisibility Cloak

I knew my invisibility cloak was gone when a cab driver dodged three lanes of traffic to pull over and pick me up. In the past, I would watch one empty cab after another drive right by as if I wasn't there. (Imagine, if you will, being invisible at 500 pounds. It's an oxymoron, like the term "jumbo shrimp"!) The differences in the way people treated me once I lost weight were probably gradual changes, but I remember feeling like it happened overnight. One day people avoided making eye contact with me and the next day they were smiling at me and starting conversations for no apparent reason. One day when I was walking down a street in Manhattan by myself, a good-looking guy bought flowers from a street vendor and gave them to me along with a compliment and his phone number. That blew my mind.

Both the men and the women in the Winners' Circle know how dramatic it can be to go from being invisible to getting noticed, and not only by strangers and acquaintances, but also by family and friends. Even though they agree that most of the new attention is positive, some of them struggle with it because it makes them feel more vulnerable and exposed. Others have faced new challenges because their partners feel threatened by their new level of attractiveness, or the jealously of siblings and friends has driven a wedge into what used to be close relationships. Former "eating buddies" feel rejected by their thinner friends' new way of life and sometimes try to deliver them back into the jaws of temptation by showing up with cakes, pies, and junk food. We'll cover the emotional aspects of dating and navigating close relationships without your invisibility cloak in chapter 3, but for now, I think you'll appreciate hearing a little about what your peers and mentors in the Winners' Circle have experienced.

Mark said, "When women started checking me out, at first I would turn around to see who they were looking at, or I'd discreetly check my zipper because I thought maybe my fly was open. Seriously. I'm not kidding. I did that for a few months. I was fat for the first thirty years of my life, so when women started smiling at me and sometimes even flirting, I had no idea what to do. I felt like a schoolboy all over again, and not in a good way!"

About the Author

Stacey Halprin lives in New York City.