Children - Teaching Truth : Part 3

The Mother and Her Child
by William S. Sadler, M.D., Lena K. Sadler, M.D.

(Page 42 of 45)

The mother quietly drew the boy to her side and reminded him that she had simply listened; that she had not opened her mouth; that he came into the room and told about the incident himself, but this did not satisfy him. He turned to her wounded and crushed, saying: "Well, you let a fellow believe it, and that's just as bad;" and this educated mother - this trusted custodian of a county full of school children - beseeched me to warn mothers everywhere to teach their children the truth, and to never let a child go to school. She told me that it took her six months to get that boy's confidence back again.

Don't Get Shocked

I believe that many mothers make the sad mistake of showing the child that they are shocked by trivial sayings and trifling experiences of their little people. If we could only get it into our heads for once and for all that our children are born into this world veritable little thieves and falsifiers, as well as adventurers and explorers, we would then cease being so shocked and outraged by their frank statements of what they have heard or have done. Let the mother listen to all these things with calmness, while she seeks to direct the child's mind in pure and elevated channels - to help him upward by imparting "precept upon precept; here a little and there a little."

Children will come in with stories that at first thought do greatly shock the parent; but under no circumstances should the boy or girl discover that the parent is shocked, for if he does he will not likely come again with another such "shocking" difficulty. One mother told me that her seven-year-old boy, beginning third grade, came into her bedroom one morning saying: "Mother, I am just busting to say something," and this mother very wisely said, "Well, say it; certainly I don't want you to burst," and she told me that this boy whispered to her three of the filthiest words that he could possibly have heard on the streets. In relating this experience to me she said: "Do you know, doctor, that I really did not know what to think at first, but I remembered that you had taught me never to be shocked, and so I looked up and asked: "Do you feel better?" whereupon he breathed a big sigh and exclaimed: "What a relief! I have just been busting to say that to somebody."

Mother, to whom would you rather he would say these things? to you, or to some little girl out on the street, or to some older boy? Think what trouble and possible mischief were avoided by whispering into the sympathetic ear of mother. This wise mother turned to that little boy and said: "Son, that ear is always waiting for just such things and whenever you feel like saying something - like getting it off your mind - you just come to me;" and he came repeatedly. One time he came in saying: "I don't know whether you want me to play with Harold or not; he does some of those things you told me about the other day." And the mother thoughtfully and wisely looked up and said: "Did he do it in front of his mother? Why of course he didn't.

Did he ask you to go into the bedroom or bathroom and lock the door?" and the little fellow quickly answered: "Why sure he did; how did you guess it?" and added "now I suppose you are not going to let me play with him any more," and this wise mother, knowing that if she denied him this privilege that it would quite likely be frequently sought, said: "Why, certainly play with Harold in the open, but whenever he suggests secrecy - " she did not have time to finish the sentence, the boy said: "I am wise; whenever he gets to doing that 'funny business' I'll skiddoo." The confidence between that mother and son, to my mind, was wonderfully sublime - all the while practical and helpful in his daily training.

Don't Repulse the Child

A little older child sees the fowls, the dogs, or the cats, "mating," and then, rushing into the house, inquires what it is all about; and unless the mother is on her guard some older member of the family may show surprise and therefore thoughtlessly convey to the child's mind that his question is improper and entirely out of place. To the question, "What are they doing, mamma?" quietly answer, "Just mating, dear, just as the flowers mate; everything that lives or grows comes as the result of mating."

Suppose that you were repulsed every time you approached a dear friend, your husband, or some other member of the family? Take, for instance, the matter of a caress or an embrace - how would you react to repeated rebuff? And so with the little child; he comes into this world full of confidence and trust, full of wonder and curiosity; possessed with the spirit of exploration and investigation - everywhere and all the time he asks questions. Usually, his questions are answered thoughtfully and without hesitancy, except along the line of one thought.

Do not think for one moment that he is satisfied by your evasive answers. You have but to recall your own childhood experiences, and remember that today the moving picture show and general public sentiment has placed the age for such knowledge from one to five years earlier in this generation than in the past. I do not care what the child comes into your presence with, be it the most shocking thing in this world, do not under any circumstances let it disturb your mental poise, or raise your ire or shock you; for if you do, then and there - at that moment - occurs a break in the sublime confidence which the child reposes in you.

Necessary Moral Training

While we are using the plant and animal world as object lessons in teaching our children the facts of intimacy and the secrets of life; while we face the commonplace mating of the animals about us without cringing, without appearing to be shocked when our children call attention to these things; nevertheless, when the child is old enough to take cognizance of these phenomena, he is old enough to begin to receive some definite instruction from his parents regarding the moral phase of these great biologic problems. We cannot safely and indefinitely utilize the animal world as an object lesson in sexual education, without at the same time emphasizing the moral difference between man and the beast.

Many parents treat these problems so lightly and endeavor to act so naturally and unconcerned about these questions, that the child comes to look upon the promiscuous intimate relations of the animal world as something altogether natural; and, unless proper moral and religious training is carried on at this time, he stands in danger of coming to regard lightly the moral standards of modern society.

About the Author

Dr. William S. Sadler M.D. was a well-known American psychiatrist and college teacher in the school of medicine at the University of Chicago. For over sixty years he practiced his profession in Chicago, thirty-three years being associated in practice with his wife, Dr Lena Kellogg Sadler. The doctors were pioneers in the research on the mysterious Urantia Papers.