Babies - The Power of Positive Suggestions : Threats

The Mother and Her Child
by William S. Sadler, M.D., Lena K. Sadler, M.D.

(Page 38 of 43)

For ten successive nights we took his hand, and, leading him into a dark room, said, "Nice dark, restful dark; we go to sleep in the dark; we're not afraid of the dark, no." Each night, save one, we were met with, "No, no, naughty dark. Willie 'afraid of dark." On the tenth night as we entered the room as usual, repeating, "Nice dark, restful dark; we go to sleep in the dark; we're not afraid of the dark, no," his little mind responded. Suggestion had at last routed fear and given birth to faith. We had won! But it had taken ten nights of constant work to undo one moment's work of a thoughtless girl. Every night since he has gone to sleep in the dark without a murmur.

The Folly of Making Threats

Threats only show weakness on the part of the disciplinarian. Most school teachers early learn the folly of making threats. When I was teaching school I recall that a number of slate pencils had been dropped on the floor one afternoon. Thoughtlessly I threatened, "Now the next child that drops a pencil will remain after school and receive punishment!" My fate!

The weakest, most delicate girl in the room was the next to drop her pencil, and she was a pupil with a perfect record in deportment. The reader can imagine my embarrassment. I had threatened punishment, and so had to get out of the predicament as best I could. This experience effectually cured me of making such foolish threats.

Most of us live to regret the threats we make. "Your father will thrash you when he comes home tonight," or, "You'd better not let your father see you doing that," or, "You wouldn't behave that way if your father was here," etc., are common threats which we hear directed at headstrong and willful boys. What is the result? Do such threats cause the love of the child for his father to increase? They make the child actually afraid of his father.

"I'll 'bust' your brains out," said a four-year-old to his pet lion, because it wouldn't stand up. Now it should be remembered that these things do not originate in the minds of the boy and girl. They only repeat the things they hear others say. It betrays both cowardice and ignorance to undertake to secure obedience by such threats as "I will box your ears if you don't mind," etc.

Obedience that is worth anything at all is only secured by suggestion and love, never by promises of reward or threats of punishment.

Children Who Are Called "Cowards"

Recently we overheard a little fellow say, "Father says I'm the only coward in the whole family." Looking him straight in the face we said to him: "You're not a coward. Such a fine boy as you couldn't possibly be a coward." The boy was greatly amazed, and, as we left him, he was saying over to himself, "I'm not a coward. She said I'm not a coward," finally adding, "She said I couldn't be a coward." This one thought, repeated to him several times and turned over and over in his mind, eventually overthrew the false fears instilled by his father.

A short time ago the daily papers contained the story of the ten-year-old son of a New York business man who drew his few dollars from the savings bank, boarded a train for Chicago, and, after three days of amusement and loneliness, his money all gone, was found in a hotel bitterly weeping. His identity was revealed, the parents were notified at once, and the boy was sent on the first train back to his home. On the way to the station he sobbed out through his tears, "Well, my brother can't call me a coward any more, anyway."

Who knows but that this everlasting taunting of the child with the accusation of being a baby or being a coward has much to do with many such escapades and other daring exploits on the part of the juveniles who are chafed by such unjust insinuations? Those of us who are acquainted with the vice and crime of a great city can imagine just what might have happened if this boy had been a little older, if his heredity had not been so good, if his money hadn't run out, if he had been able to remain in the big city long enough to make undesirable acquaintances.

Many criminals have confessed behind prison bars that when they were children they were called cowards. After a while they actually came to believe that they were cowards, and in their efforts to acquire courage and demonstrate their bravery they were led to desperate and even criminal acts. They prowled around the dark alleys just to convince themselves that they were not afraid, that they were not cowards, and there they made the acquaintance of the criminals who led them into new and dangerous paths. Even if a child enters this world handicapped by heredity, let us not lessen his chances of success by adverse suggestion.

Faith-thoughts, thoughts of bravery and of courage, may just as easily be instilled into the mind of the normal child as thoughts of fear and cowardice. A child should never have suggested to him that he is afraid. He should be constantly assured that he is brave, loyal, and fearless. The daily repetition of these suggestions will contribute much to the actual acquirement of the very traits of character that are therefore suggested. This does not mean that a child should not be taught caution and forethought.

About the Author

Dr. William S. Sadler M.D. was a well-known American psychiatrist and college teacher in the school of medicine at the University of Chicago. For over sixty years he practiced his profession in Chicago, thirty-three years being associated in practice with his wife, Dr Lena Kellogg Sadler. The doctors were pioneers in the research on the mysterious Urantia Papers.