The Nervous Child : Part 3

The Mother and Her Child
by William S. Sadler, M.D., Lena K. Sadler, M.D.

(Page 32 of 44)

Not Spoiling the Child

If the child of nervous tendencies forms the habit of crying, sulking, or otherwise misbehaving when it is denied its desires, or when something it wants done is not immediately attended to, it will be found an excellent plan simply to stand still and let the little fellow have it out with himself, in the meanwhile kindly reminding him to say, "please mamma," "please papa," etc. I well remember one nervous little girl who would yell at the top of her voice and become black in the face the moment she wanted a door opened or anything else. A few weeks of patience and firmness on the part of the mother entirely cured her of this unbecoming trait.

As a rule, it will be found best not to argue with the nervous child. The moment your commands are not heeded, when you have admonished the child once or twice without effect, take him quickly to the crib or the nursery and there leave him alone, isolated, until he is in a state of mind to manifest a kindly spirit and an obedient disposition. It is an excellent plan quietly and quickly to deprive such children of their pleasures temporarily, in order to produce thoughtfulness; and these methods are often more efficacious than the infliction of varying degrees of pain under the guise of punishment.

Nervous children must be taught to go to sleep by themselves. They are not to be rocked or allowed to hold the hand of the mother or the caretaker. The nervous baby should not be encouraged to exhibit its cuteness for the delectation of the family or the amusement of strangers and visitors. He should be especially trained in early and regular habits, taking particular pains to see that bed wetting and similar bad habits are early overcome; otherwise, he may drag along through early life and become the cause of great embarrassment both to himself and his parents.

The control of these nervous habits is somewhat like the management of the slipping of the wheels of a locomotive when the track is wet and slippery. The little folks often endeavor to apply the brakes, but they are minus the sand which keeps the wheels from slipping. The parent, with his well-planned discipline, is able to supply this essential element, and therefore the child is enabled to gain a sufficient amount of self-control to prevent him making a continuous spectacle of himself.

When nervous children do not walk or talk early, let them alone. Of course, if later on it is discovered that they are manifestly backward children, something must be done about it; but if the nervous child is encouraged to talk too soon there is great danger of his developing into a stutterer.

Preventing Hysteria

Every year we have pass through our hands men and women, especially women, who possess beautiful characters, who have noble intellects, and who have high aims and holy ambitions in life, but whose careers have been well-nigh ruined, almost shattered, because of the hysterical tendency which ever accompanies them, and which, just as soon as the stress and strain of life reaches a certain degree of intensity, unfailingly produces its characteristic breakdown; the patient is seized with confusion, is overcome by feeling, indulges in an emotional sprawl, is flooded with terrible apprehensions and distracting sensations, may even go into a convulsive fit, and, in extreme cases, even become unconscious and rigidly stiff.

Now, in the vast majority of cases, if this nervous patient, when a baby, had been thoroughly disciplined and taught proper self-control before it was four years of age, it would have developed into quite a model little citizen; and while throughout life it would have borne more or less of a hysteria stigma, nevertheless it would have possessed a sufficient amount of self-control to have gotten along with dignity and success; in fact, the possibilities are so tremendous, the situation is so terrible in the case of these nervous babies, that we might almost say that, in the majority of such, success and failure in life will be largely determined by the early and effective application of these methods of preventive discipline.

I was recently consulted by a patient whose nervous system was in a deplorable state, who had lost almost complete mental control of herself, and who really presented a pathetic spectacle as she told of the fears and worries that enthralled her. In an effort to get to the bottom of this patient's heredity I had a conference with her father, and I learned that this woman, in her childhood days, had been constantly humored - allowed to have everything she wanted.

She was a delicate and sensitive little thing and the parents could not bear to hear her cry, it made her sick, it gave her convulsions, it produced sleepless nights, it destroyed her appetite, and so she grew up in this pampered way. The father recognized the greatness of his mistake and he told me with tears in his eyes how, when the ringing of the school bell disturbed his little girl baby, he saw the school directors and had them stop ringing the bell, and he even stopped the ringing of the church bells. He was an influential citizen and could even stop the blowing of the whistles if it disturbed his precious little daughter.

And so this woman has grown up with this nervous system naturally weakened by heredity and further weakened by "spoiling"; and fortunate indeed she will be if off and on the most of her life she is not seeking the advice of a physician in her efforts to gain that self-control which her parents could have so easily put in her possession at the time she was three or four years of age, if they had only spent a few hours then, instead of the many months and years that subsequently have been devoted to medical attention.

About the Author

Dr. William S. Sadler M.D. was a well-known American psychiatrist and college teacher in the school of medicine at the University of Chicago. For over sixty years he practiced his profession in Chicago, thirty-three years being associated in practice with his wife, Dr Lena Kellogg Sadler. The doctors were pioneers in the research on the mysterious Urantia Papers.