Remember Not to Forget

Accept No Mediocre Life: Living Beyond Labels, Libels, and Limitations
by David Foster

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Recently my daughter Lindsey called to activate her new credit card. The operator told her she wasn't the person identified by the social security number she gave. Lindsey insisted she was indeed who she said she was. The credit card operator insisted, with an air of superiority, "I assure you, miss, you are not Lindsey Foster. Our records are impeccable."

Lindsey was shaken by being told that she was not who she thought she was. I suggested she call the social security office. The social security operator asked her a series of questions and then asked for her social security number. After a long pause, she came back on the line and said," After checking our records, I am glad to say you are who you thought you were." What a relief ! I could've been putting the wrong person through college!

A few days later I related the story to a friend, who said, "I have one that can top that. We had some friends over for dinner. The father introduced his seventeen-year-old son by saying, 'His real name is John, but I call him Harley because he came along while I was trying to save up for a Harley-Davidson motorcycle and so I had to put all my money into him. I've called him Harley ever since.' My friend said, 'I bet you've been hearing that story all your life, huh?' " The boy just nodded. How sad when parents label their children as objects rather than the good, gifted, and loved people they are.

E. E. Cummings wisely said, "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you everybody else- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting." If you allow other people to tell you who you are, two things happen. On the one hand, people will underestimate your worth and value; on the other, they will overestimate what you can actually do. Neither is healthy. Therefore, neither is acceptable.

Lily Tomlin commented, "I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." I agree, but when you're told for so long, by so many, that trying to be someone is sinful pride, you begin to believe it. David asked,

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. (Ps. 8:3-5 NIV)

I was raised in a church whose fatal sin was pride and whose favorite solution was shame. Every Sunday my pride was attacked, but I didn't feel prideful at all. I was trying to figure out if I had anything in me to be proud of. In contrast to what I heard growing up, experience has taught me that most people feel not too good about themselves, but too bad. I've worked with people for more than thirty years, and the vast majority feel absolutely rotten about themselves, no matter how good they try to be or how much they try to do. We work ourselves to death trying to be the good little boy or good little girl so we can gain approval. From childhood to adulthood we are taught to feel bad about who we are. But when you're sick and tired of being yourself, you are in deep trouble because that's all you can ever be. Remember, the opposite of pride is shame, not humility.

The simple instruction of Scripture is to "be honest in your estimate of yourselves, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you" (Rom. 12:3 TLB). If it is wrong to overestimate yourself, isn't it at least equally wrong to underestimate yourself ? Because we haven't learned to balance pride and humility, the paradox of our time in history is that we can buy more, but enjoy it less. We have more conveniences, but less time; more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more medicine, but less wellness. We have multiplied our possessions without adding to our worth. We're obsessed with making a living, but not a life. Medical breakthroughs have added years to life, but not life to those years. We've done bigger things, but not better things. We eat fast food; we suffer slow digestion and shallow relationships. In our quest to get "the good life" we have two incomes, but more debt; fancier houses, but broken homes. We take quick trips, use disposable diapers, possess a throwaway morality, have overweight bodies, and buy pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill. All in a futile quest to get what we already have-love.

John, the disciple loved by Jesus, said, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1 NIV).

If I'm not who you think I am, either good or bad, and I'm too often not who I think I am, either good or bad, then who am I? I'm who God says I am. Paul proclaimed, "I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am" (Phil. 4:11-12 THE MESSAGE). Jesus Christ is God's statement of your worth. You are worth His love, His death, His sacrifice! Listen to the description:

It was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes beheld my informed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed. (Ps. 139:13-16 NRSV)

I read a story about Michelangelo chipping away with his chisel at a huge, shapeless piece of rock. The sculptor was asked what he was doing. "I am releasing the angel imprisoned in this marble," he answered. Jesus is the One who seeks to release the hidden hero in you. Saint Augustine said, "People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars-and they pass by themselves without wondering."

I sign every e-mail I send to my three daughters the same way. At the bottom of the e-mail I type "I-L-B-Y-D!!" The letters stand for "I love being your dad." It's like a secret code between us, a constant reminder of our relationship. God wants you to understand, "I-L-B-Y-D!! I love being your Dad!!" Each dime or dollar I've spent on my kids has been a privilege. As a matter of fact, my kids have never asked me, have never come close to asking me, for as much as I'm willing to give them. How much do you have when you consider this declaration, "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" (Rom. 8:32 NIV)? Think about how different Christianity would be if Jesus chose His twelve disciples using the lens of a consulting firm. Here is how the advice to Him might read:

To: Jesus, Son of Joseph Woodcrafter's Carpenter Shop, Nazareth
From: Jordan Management Consultants, Jerusalem RE: Staff Team Evaluation

Thank You for submitting the resumes of the twelve men You've picked for management positions in Your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests, and we have not only run the results through our computer, we have also arranged and conducted personal interviews for each of them, with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultants.

It is the staff's opinion that most of Your nominees lack the background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise You're undertaking. For example: Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has no qualities of leadership whatsoever. The two brothers, James and John, sons of Zebedee, place personal interests above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questionable attitude that would tend to undermine morale.

We feel it our duty to tell You that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau. James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus definitely have radical leanings, and they both registered high on the manic depressive scale.

However, one of Your candidates shows great potential. He's a man of great ability and resourcefulness. He meets people well. He has a keen sense of business, has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious and responsible. We recommend that Judas Iscariot be the comptroller and right-hand man of your new organization.

God can do extraordinary things through you. If you're willing to be the one and only unique you, that is all that God requires. The Bible gives this assurance: "God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished" (Phil. 1:6 TLB). Never forget these three important truths. First, you are today what you have decided to become. Second, you can be more than you are right now. Third, you will never be happy until you engage in the effort to excel at being the best you that you can be as an act of worship to God. Don't be afraid to express yourself.

Copyright © 2005 by David Foster

About the Author

Dr. David Foster is founder and senior pastor of Bellevue Community Church in Nashville, Tennessee. He is known as a true street-smart communicator who uses humor and simple illustrations to help seker find God. He and his wife live in Nashville with their three daughters.