Interpersonal Skills

Stop Sabotaging Your Career: 8 Proven Strategies to Succeed - in Spite of Yourself
by Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D.

(Page 2 of 9)

When Technical Expertise Ceases To Be Enough

Sam is an ideal example of someone who, despite technical competence and genuine desire to be of service, was on the verge of causing serious damage to his career. An infrequently talked about fact of business life is that at some point in most people's careers, technical expertise ceases to be the key factor contributing to success. We build our reputations early in our careers on competence. We remain successful, however, based on a combination of competence and the eight factors described in this book. Once you have proven your technical abilities in your field, competence becomes a given - something that others depend and rely on, but not something that necessarily will continue to move you forward. It's as though your competence reaches the point of diminishing returns. If you continue to focus exclusively on gaining increased technical skill to the exclusion of developing complementary behaviors, you'll become professionally unbalanced. If a prizefighter has a killer right uppercut but can't move deftly on his feet, it will do him no good to continue to develop that uppercut. He needs complementary strengths that will help him win bouts, not just rounds.

Review the checklist on page 43 to see how well you build one-on-one relationships. Ideally, you would check every item here (as well as with each checklist contained in subsequent chapters). The fewer items you check, the greater the likelihood that this is a potential developmental area for you.

Interpersonal Skills: Differentiating Yourself From The Pack

In a competitive job market, employers are careful to choose people for their past experience, education, and previous on-the-job success. In other words, they select people who are good at what they do. Once on the job, however, when the playing field is level with equally qualified employees, it's the subtler behaviors that distinguish the fast-trackers from those who remain stagnant or are overlooked for new opportunities. Those with superior interpersonal skills, combined with technical capability, are perceived as a more valuable asset than those who exhibit only technical competence. It is through positive working relationships that we secure the cooperation of the people we need to accomplish our tasks and further the organization's goals. These interpersonal skills also help us to develop the goodwill of clients and customers and a network of people on whom we can rely for the skills and information required to function effectively.

_____ I know the names of the people on my floor.

_____ I notice when something is troubling a colleague and inquire about it.

_____ I schedule time throughout the day for small talk with co-workers.

_____ I meet socially with co-workers outside the workplace.

_____ I tend to go out of my way for colleagues - even if I see no immediate benefit.

_____ I see building relationships as equally important to accomplishing my job tasks.

_____ Other people describe me as a good listener.

_____ I know the names of the husbands, wives, significant others, and children of my co-workers.

_____ I share personal information and discuss topics of common interest with my co-workers.

_____ I treat administrative professionals the same as I treat executive management.

_____ I have lunch several times a week with co-workers.

In Sam's case, coaching alone wasn't sufficient to help him remain relevant and competitive in his work environment. The presence of a deep-seated need for perfection suggests intrapersonal conflicts that required professional counseling. Fortunately, when this was recommended to Sam, he was open to the idea and followed up on it. His coaching sessions then focused on several specific things that he could do immediately to change the impression others had of him. He is a good example of someone who had several overlapping areas of development. Sam needed not only to do a better job of building one-on-one relationships, but also to be perceived as a better team player and to begin thinking about the importance of networking. My work with him addressed all three areas.

His first assignment was to spend no less than fifteen minutes each day engaged in casual conversation with a different co-worker - even if he had to force himself to do it or put it on his calendar as a reminder to get up and do it. I wanted him to get to know his colleagues personally - to find out what outside interests and hobbies they had, the names of their children, and what made them tick. If you're anything like Sam, your heart is beating a little faster at just reading this - or you may be making mental excuses why it's not possible. Suggesting they do this makes some people feel as if they are robbing the company coffers, when in reality they are investing in relationships that have a long-term benefit to the company. Building such relationships enables the work to be done more efficiently, with less sabotage and higher team morale. That saves the company money, it doesn't waste it.

Similarly, I recommended that initially Sam take a lunch break at least once a week and use the time for something he enjoyed. The adage All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy was certainly true in this case. Part of what made it so difficult for Sam to talk to others was that he felt he had nothing to say. He had become so immersed in his work that he was oblivious to outside interests. Sam decided to make use of the company gym to work out. At the gym, he met several co-workers with whom he shared common interests and eventually became friends; he started to have lunch and socialize with them after work. He began to expand his network.

In an effort to coach him to be a better team player, I recommended that Sam listen to the concerns co-workers expressed at team meetings and later offer to help resolve some of these concerns rather than use his time to perfect and fail-safe his already good work. He could put his compulsive work behaviors to good use by extending himself to those who needed his assistance. In other words, he could win back their regard by making not only his boss look good, but his colleagues as well. In the process, he was building what is described as network reciprocity - the exchange of services and favors within formal and informal networks. The importance of networks is discussed in detail in a later chapter, but for now suffice it to say that Sam had to identify and participate in the quid pro quo of his workplace relationships.

It wasn't easy for him, but Sam worked hard to change the perceptions of others as he successfully learned how to overcome his strengths. It also wasn't always two steps forward. As with most people learning a new skill, it was sometimes one step forward, two steps back. As a result of his effort, however, Sam was promoted to a new position in a different division of the company, started spending more time with his children, and now reports that the quality of his life is better than he has ever known it to be.

Copyright © 1998, 2007 by Lois P. Frankel

About the Author

Dr. Lois P. Frankel is the president of Corporate Coaching International as well as the author of several books and numerous articles. She is internationally recognized as an expert in the field of workplace behavior. With over twenty years of experience in human resources development, she is a frequently invited guest on talk radio, television, conferences, corporate workshops, and retreats.