Something Is Holding You Back : Part 1

The Flip Side: Break Free of the Behaviors That Hold You Back
by Flip Flippen

Flip Flippen is the most influential man you've never heard of. This personable Texan is the founder of The Flippen Group, one of the fastest-growing corporate and personal training companies in America, and his philosophy has touched the lives of some of the most powerful individuals in the country - from Wall Street leaders to top sports figures like Terry Bradshaw and his NASCAR team, and from Joel Osteen's team at Lakewood Church to the 150,000 people who trained with Flip's company in 2005.

Great advice for everyone, but particularly appealing to those who are taking stock of what they want to do with the rest of their lives, Flippen's approach is surprisingly simple. When we learn how to identify our 'personal constraints' and take the necessary steps to correct self-limiting behaviors, we will experience a dramatic surge in productivity, achieve things we have only dreamed of, and find greater happiness overall. Flippen has created a simple process to help readers find their greatest constraint (the results may be surprising!) and build a plan to help 'flip' that weakness into a newfound strength.

Chapter 1

I learned everything I know from my clients. After seeing more than seventeen thousand patients through my practice as a psychotherapist and working with thousands of educators and many of the largest and most successful companies in the world, I had to learn something.

One thing I knew early on was that I wanted to spend my life helping people. After finishing graduate school I decided to work with underprivileged kids and street gangs, so I started an outpatient free clinic that served anyone who walked in the door. We were poor, but we were making a difference, and that was what mattered most. I started with an all-volunteer staff, then slowly added professionals to care for the more difficult needs that people brought to us.

Janice and Tony showed up within one week of each other at the clinic. They were both extremely likeable teenagers with a lot in common - they each came from dysfunctional, alcoholic families and grew up struggling to survive from day to day, well on the way to following in their families' footsteps. On the brink of destroying their lives before they had even begun, they enrolled for counseling.

Janice and Tony had more in common than just their backgrounds. They were energetic and curious about the world around them, demonstrating intellectual and creative abilities that had not been cultivated by the urban schools they attended. And they were both burdened by a profound lack of self-confidence - no surprise given the challenges they'd already faced, but heartbreaking nonetheless.

Ten years later Janice had completed college and law school and was working as a senior attorney at a university chancellor's office. Tony, on the other hand, was in prison on manslaughter charges stemming from a drug-related shoot-out.

Searching for the Keys

The question haunted me like no other.

What made the difference?

Why was Janice able to embrace the opportunities presented to her, while Tony could not escape the disadvantages? In my years at the clinic, I saw countless cases like Janice's and Tony's - people of comparable backgrounds and abilities who attained dramatically different levels of success.

Within a few years I found my clinic and my home (so much for the "outpatient" part) overflowing with kids carrying pain my textbooks had never mentioned. My graduate-school classes had introduced them as case studies for dissection and analysis, not as real, breathing, bleeding human beings.

Despite my dedication and noble intentions, not all of them turned the corner. I have cried more than I would have imagined when I think of what became of some of them. Several young men and women were murdered within the first year that I worked in the clinic. All of the deaths were drug related, and each story echoed many of the same issues.

Yet a lot of the kids coming to the clinic had great potential. Many have been able to do tremendous things with their lives, while others have known nothing but struggle and disappointment. Some overcame major obstacles, while others, in almost identical situations, perpetuated the cycles of self-destruction - their progress simply stopped, as if something insurmountable was holding them back. For these kids the alternative to success was often prison, drug addiction, or even death. With the stakes that high, I couldn't stand by and watch them go down without a fight. I had to discover why their lives could go only so far - and what, if anything, I could do to help them make their lives better.

I started down the road that has been my life's journey for the past three and a half decades, and it turned out to be about much more than street kids and gang members. It turned out to be about business executives, and schoolteachers, and athletes, and me.

My work expanded quickly, putting me in regular contact with people who pursued excellence in a variety of fields - from salespeople trying to hit quotas to athletes trying to break world records - and their experiences revealed a common theme: real success demands more than talent and ability.

What is real success? It is far more than making money or getting to the top. It is about a person becoming EVERYTHING he or she can be. It's being a great son or daughter, parent, boss, or employee. It's becoming kind, and thoughtful, and taking initiative in life to make the world a better place. Being successful is being able to see past your private agenda and learning how to manage innate tendencies toward selfishness and greed to become more sensitive to others who share your journey.

Real success is being known as someone who improves the lives of those you touch - which also means that we strive to touch more because internally we know that we can make a difference.

So many people are only a fraction of what they can be, accomplishing so much less than their potential. They dream about doing more and being better, but something bigger than their talent seems to be holding them back with invisible ropes and heavy weights. I was driven to figure out what that "something" was. If I couldn't find out what held people back, how could I ever hope to help them?

Soon after I committed to searching for answers, the critical questions turned inward, and I had to ask myself what was holding me back. I looked at my life and saw plenty of room for improvement - as a father, husband, friend, business owner, entrepreneur, and human being. I realized that if I could overcome the things blocking me from fully using my abilities, I would be miles ahead in the game of living.

Copyright © 2007 by M. B. Flippen

About the Author

Flip Flippen lives in College Station, Texas.