Authentic Confidence : Part 2

Why Not You?: Twenty-eight Days to Authentic Confidence
by Valorie Burton

(Page 2 of 4)

So I told myself, "You're just talking to some people while they start their day by enjoying great biblical teaching from T. D. Jakes." I reminded myself that television is experienced one person at a time. By thinking in these terms, I was able to find a peaceful place from which to speak.

I've since pursued my passion of inspiring others to live fulfilling lives, and along the way, I've gained tremendous confidence in God's ability to carry out His purposes through each one of us. It's our confidence in Him that bolsters our confidence and belief in ourselves. Knowing that God created you and wants to use you also means acknowledging that He accepts you as you are. Simultaneously, He's offering you daily opportunities to grow into more of the person He created you to be. He accepts you, despite the criticisms, doubts, or insecurities you may impose on yourself and the obstacles you erect for yourself.

So why is the issue of overcoming doubt and building confidence one of the most important for you to address? Maybe because it impacts your: relationships, as in whether you stand up for yourself, set good boundaries, and choose mutually beneficial friendships; finances, since insecurity and self-doubt are leading contributors to overwhelming credit-card debt as people attempt to fill a void through overspending; ability to parent your children effectively; chosen career (or the career you don't choose), including how quickly you advance and how much money you earn

In fact, to see the depth of the effects of lacking confidence, take this little self-quiz: Which of the following statements would you like to be able to say are true about you? Check the statements that are true for you now, and give yourself one point for each.

I can walk into a room full of strangers and introduce myself, be friendly, and feel comfortable.

I can successfully make a presentation in front of a group of people.

Fear doesn't stop me from asking for what I want.

If I purchase something that proves faulty, I can return it to the store that has an unfriendly refund policy and ask for - and receive - a refund.

I don't have to chase after success. Because I work hard and live my purpose, the right opportunities, people, and resources find their way to my path.

I always trust myself to finish what I start.

If I make a mistake, I never try to cover it up or explain it away with excuses in order to look good. I'm comfortable with being imperfect.

I have (or am moving toward) exactly what I want in my life.

I haven't settled in any way.

I'm financially confident and have proven myself to be a good steward of money.

I can walk into a dinner party and feel confident about how I look. I don't size up other attendees and compare my looks, clothes, jewelry, or other characteristics with theirs.

If you're like most people, you weren't able to truthfully check all ten statements, because doubts, fears, and insecurities creep into our lives in ways we often don't even notice, let alone identify as a confidence issue.

I have written Why Not You? as a personal companion to help you confront these things and build your confidence over a twenty-eight-day period - a progressive plan to maintain or increase your confidence, boldness, and self-esteem throughout your life in order to live fully and freely, to realize your potential, and to be faithful to God's will for you.

Confidence is essential because it's a tool that empowers you to do everything God created you to do. With confidence, you never have to look back on life with regret wondering what you "coulda, shoulda, woulda" done ...if only you'd had the confidence. Strengthening your confidence empowers you to say yes to God consistently and without hesitation.

In an effort to gain confidence, thousands of people undergo surgery every year to change their looks. They hope that if they're more attractive, they'll finally feel secure and confident enough to pursue the life they really want. There's no doubt that cosmetic or material improvements may help people feel better, and surface results can be obtained quickly. Just drive a more expensive-looking car and notice how certain people treat you differently. Slip on an expensive piece of jewelry before you go shopping and notice how much more attentively you're treated by some of the salespeople in stores.

Yes, there are quick remedies to calm our insecurities and doubts. But if the change is only physical, authentic confidence will never emerge, and the glimmers will never last. Purely surface changes attract surface results. Is that all you really want?

What I want you to know is that who you are right now is enough. In fact, it's more than enough for you to walk, speak, and live confidently in every situation you face in life. You don't need to be more attractive, more talented, more connected, wealthier, or anything else to be confident. You are enough because God is enough.

As you turn the pages of this book and go deeper in trusting God's perfect plan for you, I challenge you to notice how you'll lose your desire to be around people whose interest in you is based on what you have, how you look, and what you can do. You'll naturally begin attracting relationships based on who you are - your purpose, inherent value, and divinely created uniqueness.

Are you ready to move to a new level of living in some area of your life? Are you ready to stop holding your tongue, shrinking from opportunities, and allowing pesky insecurities to sabotage your relationships, finances, or career? Are you ready to deal with the doubts about your abilities and your dreams that creep in from time to time?

We've all stood in awe of those we view as successful, believing they have something we don't have and - worse yet - something we may never get. The truth is, we'll never really be successful doing anything other than the things each of us were uniquely and specially created to do.

Copyright © 2007 by Valorie Burton.

About the Author

Valorie Burton is the author of Rich Minds, Rich Rewards: 52 Ways to Enhance, Enrich, and Empower Your Life. A sought-after life coach and speaker whose daily radio feature The Good Life airs on stations nationwide, she is also a columnist for Heart & Soul Magazine, the former co-host and co-producer of the national television program The Potter's Touch with Bishop T.D. Jakes, the on-air life coach for NBC5, and a columnist for BlackAmericaWeb.com.