Do not Postpone Your Happiness

by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D

Dear Valued Friend: In light of what happened yesterday, I felt that it was important to send you a personal message rather than the usual weekly advice column. So many people postpone their happiness and quality of time spent with their mate and children because they honestly believe that there is always tomorrow. Many people think, "Someday, when I have more money, someday when I lose some weight, someday when I'm less stressed, someday when I'm not so tired, that's when I'll concentrate on my personal life." In fact, some of you may be living your life according to Mark Twain's quip, "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." Yesterday's lesson was that all of us don't know if we have a tomorrow! Please listen to me when I say, don't put your relationship on hold for another minute. The truth is, that you or the person you love may not have tomorrow.

Advice: One of the coping skills that has kept me going my entire life is that I always had a bottom line. Whenever things got out of hand and I became emotional, I'd say to myself, "Look Ellen, the bottom line is, this is not a life and death situation, so just calm down!" It usually worked. It certainly worked when I tried to potty train my kids too early, had a disagreement with a friend, a rush deadline to meet, or an argument with my husband. After my diagnosis of breast cancer, my bottom line didn't work for me any longer. This WAS a life and death situation. I was in a state of panic. As I've learned to live with my disease, I discovered a new bottom line. NO ONE KNOWS IF THEY WILL BE HERE TOMORROW. I used to think that people who died unexpectedly from a heart attack or an accident were lucky to die instantly. I don't think so anymore. Now, when I hear about someone killed in a car accident, a plane crash, or in yesterday's terrorist attack, I wonder what they would have said and done differently in the past year or the past month, if they had known with absolute certainty that their life was going to end on that particular day. I wish I could give all of you the same sense of urgency that I feel. You do not know how much time you have left to love your mate the way he or she deserves to be loved. We are here for such a short time so it is imperative to make that time count. No one wants a life filled with regrets. Love like there is no tomorrow, because in the end, love is the only thing that counts. My heart goes out to all of you. We have all been affected by this tragedy. Warmest Regards, Dr. Ellen Kreidman

About the Author

www.lightyourfire.com
For the past 20 years, Dr. Ellen has educated, motivated, and inspired thousands of men and women on how to put fun, romance, excitement and communication in their relationships. Through humor and personal experiences, she is able to captivate and relate to any type of audience, the dynamics of building a solid foundation for a more rewarding life. Through her audio cassettes, CD's, seminars, videos and books she has been teaching and communicating her message to men and women of all ages throughout the world. All of her efforts are designed to work together to achieve one ultimate goal: strengthen the fun, love and communication between two people. She has been happily married for 34 years, has three grown children and two grandchildren. www.lightyourfire.com