Selection of Associates : Part 2

Golden Steps to Respectability, Usefulness and Happiness
by John Mather Austin

(Page 4 of 8)

His garments are thread-bare and patched - his eyes are inflamed, sunken and watery - his countenance bloated and livid - his limbs swelled and tottering. Although but in the morning of his manhood, yet the lines of premature old age and decrepitude are deeply carved upon his pale, dejected face; and in his whole aspect, there is that forlorn, broken-spirited, anguished look of despair, which shows he himself feels that he has sunken, beyond earthly redemption, into the awful pit of the confirmed drunkard! This is the young man whose early opportunities were so favorable, and whose prospects were so bright and flattering. He has become a curse to himself, he has brought disgrace and wretchedness on his connections, and is an outcast and vagabond, with whom no young man who now hears me would associate for a single hour!

What has brought him to this pitiable condition - this state of utter wretchedness? It was a want of forethought. He totally neglected the considerations I have endeavored to impress upon the young. He was careless and indifferent in regard to his associates. He would not be admonished to turn from the company of the vicious, and seek the society of those of good habits and upright character. Despite the counsel of parents and friends, he would associate with companions of corrupt habits - with the profane, the drinking, the Sabbath-breaking - those whose chief delight was to visit oyster-cellars and grog-shops - whose highest ambition was to excel in cards, and dice, and sleight-of-hand tricks - and who sought for no better employment than to range the streets and alleys, to engage in midnight adventures and Bacchanalian revelries. Mingling with such as his associates, and falling unavoidably into their habits, he is now reaping the bitter - BITTER fruits of his folly. His time misspent - character destroyed - health ruined - every source of happiness obliterated - his life wasted and literally thrown away - his days, a blank - ah! worse than that - filled with the terrific visions, the horrid dreams, the flames of the unquenchable fire, which float and burn in the veins of the confirmed inebriate!

Young men! Do you shudder at the condition of this wretched youth, whose form yet flits like a shadow through our streets? Would you avoid his fate? Do you start back in affright at the mere thought of becoming the poor, cast-off wreck of humanity that he is? Then avoid the rock on which he foundered his bark. Shun, as you would a nest of vipers, the company of the reckless and profligate. Avoid all association, all companionship, all intimacy, with those whose habits deviate from the high rules of rectitude, purity, and virtue.

Allow me to paint you a picture of an opposite character, drawn also from real life. I have another young man in my mind's eye, who originated in our own county. He had but few of the advantages of him whose melancholy career I have painted. He was the son of parents who possessed but little means, and who could afford him no assistance after the days of childhood. He was early placed to the hard labor of a mechanic. But he did not sink into lewdness and vice, under the pressure of his adverse circumstances. He would not spend his leisure hours at public resorts, in the midst of the profligate and reckless. Each moment of respite from labor, he applied himself to study and the improvement of his mind. With great wisdom he avoided the company of idle, profane and vicious youth; and would associate with none but the discreet, the intelligent and virtuous. He was determined to RISE in the world, and to win a name which should live long after he should pass from the earth. He placed his mark high! With indomitable courage and unwearied perseverance, he pursued the path he had chosen for himself. He cut his way through every obstacle, and overcame every hindrance and difficulty, though they might seem to tower mountain high.

Friends came to his aid, as they will to the assistance of every youth who is industriously seeking to rise in the world by the strength of his own merits. At length, after great exertions, he obtained a profession, and entered into a field where he could bring into active exercise the fund of knowledge he had been acquiring under so many difficulties. One thus industrious, thus pure in his habits, thus upright and honorable in all his transactions, could not fail to receive the commendation and confidence of his fellow-citizens. Rapidly he rose from one post of honor to another. Ere long he was sent to the Legislature of our State. Soon he entered the halls of Congress, where he won the confidence of his compeers, and arose to honorable distinction. From step to step he advanced - high and higher still he ascended the ladder of fame - until now, the poor mechanic boy of Montville, occupies the second place in the gift of the American people - within one step of the highest pinnacle of fame to which man can attain on the earth! How noble the career - how splendid the example - placed before the youth of our country, in the history of this eminent man! How honorable to himself - how worthy of imitation.

I need not ask the young men of this audience, which place they would prefer to occupy, the position of the poor inebriate of whom I have spoken, or that of the Vice-President of the United States? It is instructive to inquire why the one, with opportunities so good, sunk so low, and the other, with early advantages so limited, has arisen so high? This disparity in their condition is to be attributed to the different paths they selected at the outset of life. While the one trampled on all his advantages, and foolishly associated with the vicious and unprincipled, the other diligently applied himself to the acquisition of useful knowledge, and was scrupulous to associate with none but those who were discreet and virtuous, and whose influence was calculated to elevate and purify him.

These two cases, drawn from real life, are but a specimen of instances with which the world is filled. They show how immensely important it is for the young to reflect maturely on the course they would pursue, and the necessity of selecting for their associates such as have habits, tastes, and principles, proper for commendation and imitation.

Derby, Miller, and Company, 1851